Christian Right Weekly Round-Up: Pastor Pillow Caucuses the Iowa Field of Dreams

Hello, I’m Pastor Pillow! Welcome to Dyersville, Iowa, in Dubuque County!  Also known the world over as Field of Dreams!  And, thanks to a generous Third Offering during last Sunday’s Cubic Zirconium Cathedral Ministries morning service, this little stretch of wintry, shucked Iowan cornfield now belongs to me—I mean, our ministry, by way of the […]

Christian Right Weekly Round-Up: Pastor Pillow Wines and Dines all the Presidential Elephants

Hello, I’m Pastor Pillow! Thank you for joining me this evening at Kiawah Island Golf Resort’s Ocean Room.  I realize everyone is surprised to see one another again so soon after that grueling Charleston debate.  Governor Christie, now-now, no stink-eye stare at Dr. Carson.  Here, have some North Carolina osetra imperial caviar before you gobble […]

Christian Right Weekly Round-Up: Pastor Pillow Remakes the New Year

Hello, I’m Pastor Pillow! Welcome to the spiritual sanctuary of the Good Zeppelin Zerubbabel, the multimillion-dollar faith flagship of the Cubic Zirconium Cathedral Ministries air armada. I just can’t thank Jehovah-jireh enough for providing me my own personal rigid airship so that I can praise the Lord free from the restrictive chains of the Luciferean […]

Christian Right Weekly Round-Up: Pastor Pillow Places Sunday School Teacher on Administrative Leave

Hear, O, Wheaton College! … Good morning, class! I’m Pastor Pillow! That’s right, little Bobby. I’m your spiritual shepherd! What does that mean? It means I’m the person your mommy and daddy write big checks to every week to maintain their platinum-level parish membership. Actually, my official title is Cubic Zirconium Cathedral Ministries Chief Pastoral […]

Christian Right Weekly Round-Up: Pastor Pillow, Franklin Graham and Jerry Falwell, Jr. Walk Into a Bar Mitzvah

Hello, I’m Pastor Pillow! Jerry, Jr., Franklin. Franklin, Jerry, Jr. I can hardly believe this is the first time the three of us have met—though of course I knew your fathers well. Sorry, Franklin, don’t want to bury your dad alongside Jerry, Sr., quite yet. But even I’ve got to admit that Billy would probably […]

Christian Right Weekly Round-Up: Pastor Pillow Prepares a Mass Shooting Prayer

Hello, I’m Pastor Pillow! Thank you for responding to the Cubic Zirconium Cathedral Ministries parishioner focus group robo-call. In fact, just for coming down to the megachurch grounds today, I’m prepared to discount this month’s tithe percentage for you and your family from 10% to 9.975%. And with every significant contribution you make today to […]

Christian Right Weekly Round-Up: Deacon Duvet Gives Thanks in Pastor Pillow’s Stead

Hello, I’m Deacon Duvet! Welcome to our Thanksgiving Day potluck at Cubic Zirconium Ministries! And my apologies on behalf of Pastor Pillow, who is unable to join us this evening. As you may be aware, he’s been called away to provide political futurism advice (or prophesying, as we call it behind the pulpit) for the […]

Christian Right Weekly Round-Up: Pastor Pillow Lives to See 100!

Hello, I’m Pastor Pillow! That’s how the Christian Right Weekly Round-Up usually starts.  Except, I’m actually the creator of the Chief Pastoral Officer of Cubic Zirconium Cathedral Ministries. Where’s Pastor Pillow?  Doubtless he’s off ministering to the unarmed pagan French and spreading the NRA Prosperity Gospel:  “Behold, I stand at the door with a Glock!” […]

Christian Right Weekly Round-Up: Pastor Pillow & the Amazing Technicolor Pyramid Grain Silo Animatronic Wonder House

Hello, I’m Pastor Pillow! You’re probably here to see Cubic Zirconium Cathedral Ministries’ latest attraction, the Brother Dr. Ben Carson 3-D/Trinity Amazing Technicolor Pyramid Grain Silo Animatronic Wonder House. Trust me, it’s unlike anything you’ve ever seen! Epcot, eat my Holy Spirit-girded shorts. Here, hop in the CZC Ministries Porsche Garia Soleil de Minuit golf […]

Christian Right Weekly Round-Up: Pastor Pillow Hands Out Tricks

Hello, I’m Pastor Pillow! Welcome to the confectionary-free confines of Cubic Zirconium Cathedral Ministries on this great and terrible day that worshipers of Satan, that False Light & Fallen One, that Lascivious Leader of Political Progressives, call Halloween! Here, purchase one of our Fall (But Not as Far as Adam!) Creationism Celebration and Creative Witnessing […]