10 Gifts Santa Really Needs to Bring Republicans This Christmas

obama-santa-clausWell, it’s Christmas and in the spirit of the holiday I thought I would poke a little fun at our right-wing counterparts by listing the 10 gifts I think Santa should have brought Republicans this holiday. And for anyone who might be looking for that last-minute, or even late, gift to give a Republican friend or family member of theirs, feel free to use this list to help you in your quest for that “perfect gift.”


So, since I’m sure we’re all busy today, let’s go ahead and get started shall we?

1.) A poster of Donald Trump’s Politifact scorecard proving that he’s possibly the most dishonest person to ever get elected president.

2.) A copy of our Constitution with the words “well regulated” in our Second Amendment highlighted since they always seem to ignore that part.

3.) A map with all of the Confederate states highlighted and a list of all of the states that opposed women’s suffrage, desegregation, the Civil Rights Act and currently oppose same-sex marriage, abortion rights and the Affordable Care Act – then see if they notice a pattern.

4.) A calendar with the dates marked when our economic crash began and when President Obama took office since far too many of them seem to think the latter happened before the former.

5.) A copy of the Wall Street Journal so that they can see that stocks have hit their highest levels in United States history. 

6.) A framed picture of the lowest gas prices we’ve seen in years.

7.) A plaque that says: Thank you President Obama for your record-setting streak of private-sector job growth, spanning nearly your entire presidency.


8.) A framed copy of President Obama’s birth certificate for Donald Trump — both forms.

9.) A copy of the Immigration Reform and Control Act of 1986 that was signed into law by Ronald Reagan that granted amnesty to illegal immigrants — autographed by Donald Trump.

10.) A t-shirt that says: I voted twice for George W. Bush and all I got was two wars; massive deficits; a nearly doubled national debt; a crashed economy; over 4,400 dead Americans in Iraq; millions of lost jobs; record oil prices; and an almost complete collapse of the American auto industry. Then the next candidate I helped elect is reality TV star, con man, and self-admitted sexual predator Donald Trump.

Alright, well I’ll wrap this one up (pun intended). I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday or if you celebrate nothing today then just a peaceful and relaxing day.



Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.

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  • A MESSAGE OF HOPE FOR ALL REPUBLICANS
    And there were in the same country shepherds in the field, keeping watch over their flocks by night and they were white men. And lo, the angle of the lord, who was also white, came upon them and the glory of the Lord shone around them and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them Fear not for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all white people. For unto you born this day in the city of David a Savior which is Christ the Lord and is also white. Have a white Christmas, all of you. Oh, and one more thing… Forgiveness comes at the heels of repentance. I wouldn’t wait till the last minute.

    • regressive white trash reli

      PRAISE (white regressive republican 21st century schizoid )JEEEESUS!!!

  • Alecta

    I would add a huge scoop of empathy into their stockings.

    • Jamesw2

      they would not know what to do with it. Kinda like a three syllable word