In what sounds like something straight from a Saturday Night Live sketch, Sarah Palin endorsed Donald Trump for president on Tuesday. While it’s somewhat surprising that she didn’t choose Ted Cruz, Trump was clearly the most obvious other choice for the babbling buffoon from Alaska to endorse. Birds of a feather and all.
And in true Palin fashion, her endorsement was an absolute train wreck; an incoherent word salad that often bordered on pure gibberish. So, to save all of you fine folks some time, I thought I’d list 10 of the most comically absurd things Palin’s mouth spewed forth during her speech in Iowa.
In no particular order, here they are.
1. “Are you ready to make America great again? We all have a part in this. We all have a responsibility. Looking around at all of you, you hard-working Iowa families. You farm families, and teachers, and teamsters, and cops, and cooks. You rockin’ rollers. And holy rollers! All of you who work so hard. You full-time moms. You with the hands that rock the cradle. You all make the world go round, and now our cause is one.”
2. “When asked why I would jump into a primary, kind of stirring it up a little bit maybe, and choose one over some friends who are running and I’ve endorsed a couple others in their races before they decided to run for president, I was told left and right, ‘You are going to get so clobbered in the press. You are just going to get beat up, and chewed up, and spit out.’ You know, I’m thinking, ‘And?’ You know, like you guys haven’t tried to do that every day since that night in ‘08, when I was on stage nominated for VP, and I got to say, ‘Yeah, I’ll go, send me, you betcha. I’ll serve.’ And, like you all, I’m still standing.”
3. “Only one candidate’s record of success proves he is the master of the art of the deal. He is beholden to no one but we the people, how refreshing.”
4. “Where, in the private sector, you actually have to balance budgets in order to prioritize, to keep the main thing, the main thing, and he knows the main thing: A president is to keep us safe economically and militarily. He knows the main thing, and he knows how to lead the charge. So troops, hang in there, because help’s on the way because he, better than anyone, isn’t he known for being able to command, fire!”
5. “Now, eight years ago, I warned that Obama’s promised fundamental transformation of America. That it was going to take more from you, and leave America weaker on the world stage. And that we would soon be unrecognizable. Well, it’s the one promise that Obama kept. But he didn’t do it alone, and this is important to remember, especially those of you, like me, a member of the GOP, this is what we have to remember, in this very contested, competitive, great primary race.”
6. “He’s been able to tear the veil off this idea of the system. The way that the system really works, and please hear me on this, I want you guys to understand more and more how the system, the establishment, works, and has gotten us into the troubles that we are in in America. The permanent political class has been doing the bidding of their campaign donor class, and that’s why you see that the borders are kept open.”
7. “Well, and then, funny, haha, not funny, but now, what they’re doing is wailing, ‘Well, Trump and his, uh, uh, uh, Trumpeters, they’re not conservative enough.’ Oh my goodness gracious. What the heck would the establishment know about conservatism?”
8. “Well, then, we’re talking about our very existence, so no, we’re not going to chill. In fact it’s time to drill, baby, drill down, and hold these folks accountable. And we need to stop the self-sabotage and elect new, and independent, a candidate who represents that and represents America first, finally. Pro-Constitution, common-sense solutions, that he brings to the table. Yes the status quo has got to go. Otherwise we’re just going to get more of the same, and with their failed agenda, it can’t be salvaged. It must be savaged. And Donald Trump is the right one to do that.”
9. “Yeah, our leader is a little bit different. He’s a multi-billionaire. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But, it’s amazing, he is not elitist at all.”
10. “And yes, as a multi-billionaire, we still root him on, because he roots us on. And he has, he’s spent his life with the workin’ man. And he tells us Joe six packs, he said, ‘You know, I’ve worked very, very hard. And I’ve succeeded. Hugely I’ve succeeded,’ he says. And he says, ‘I want you to succeed too.’ And that is refreshing, because he, as he builds things, he builds big things, things that touch the sky, big infrastructure that puts other people to work.”
When I tell you this was an incoherent word salad of immense proportions – I mean it. It was like she was throwing up a 4th grade-level dictionary with words just coming out randomly on index cards. I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen a woman unable to complete full sentences as often as she fails to do so. It’s a terrifying thought that this woman was nearly one heartbeat away from the presidency – almost as terrifying as the thought that Donald J. Trump might become our next president.
That’s why, as I’ve done repeatedly over the last few months, I cannot emphasize enough how important it is that Democrats/liberals/progressives get off their butts this November and vote blue. From the presidency to Congress – we cannot let this country be fully controlled by the Republican party. If that happens, I’m really not sure we’ll ever be able to recover from it.
Watch her poor excuse for a speech below if you absolutely must subject yourself to it, via CBS News:
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