5 People Conservatives Need To Stop Paying Attention To

roflbot0327141In my most recent article “5 People Liberals Need To Stop Paying Attention To,” I listed 5 people who liberals really should stop being distracted by and pay attention to the real issues at hand. To be honest with you, I could have just added a few more media personalities, called it “10 People EVERYONE Should Stop Paying Attention To” and that would have covered both sides of the political aisle.

So for the sake of being fair, I’m writing this one for conservatives. Liberals, it wouldn’t hurt for you to read this as well.

5. Sarah Palin: Yes, I know Sarah was on the other list, but ignoring her as much as possible would be something conservatives should also take to heart. Why? Because Sarah doesn’t care about conservatism, Sarah cares about Sarah. I know you like to say that liberals are so fond of painting all conservatives as ignorant wingnuts, but when you allow someone like her airtime on Fox or a speaking slot at CPAC, you can’t blame us for that. If I were a Republican candidate, I would distance myself as much as possible from any endorsement or offer from her to go on the campaign trail with me. She’s not a politician, she’s a grifter and she will say or do anything to stay in the media spotlight in order to keep selling books.

4. Pat Robertson: Back in the 1980’s, Pat Robertson made an unsuccessful bid for president. At that time, my extremely religious mother went to one of his campaign rallies and was put off by the people who claimed that God wanted him to be the leader of the free world. Apparently God didn’t want Pat Robertson near a political office of any kind, and now he’s making a pretty decent living swindling religious zealots out of their money through donations to his 700 Club. I’m not sure how many of you guys take him seriously, but he’s not someone I’d want myself affiliated with.

3. Glenn Beck: His website advertises survivalist gear and not just your common sense stuff that you should have on hand if you live in an area prone to natural disasters. The whole “the world is going to end and Obama is the Antichrist so buy my products” thing is one of the sleazier, snake oil salesman aspects of media – especially on the fringes. Glenn Beck also continued to persuade his fans to buy gold from Goldline.com even though he knew the coins he was selling as part of his “Obama is going to seize all the gold” shtick were overpriced and the company eventually had to refund customers that Goldline and Beck knowingly ripped off. Also, if you get kicked off Fox for being too extreme, that tells you they’re someone you’d really rather not be associated with.

2. Michele Bachmann: Have you ever seen the vacant eyes, the “thousand yard stare” of someone that is clearly mentally ill? Well, that’s Michele Bachmann right there. Whether it is her ambiguously gay husband who runs a reparative therapy clinic where they “pray away the gay” or her statements that continually receive a “Pants On Fire” rating from Politifact, Michele is a walking, talking gold mine for satirists – like our own Erin Nanasi’s “The Bachmann Diaries.” How can you really expect anyone to take the Republican Party seriously when she sits on the House Intelligence Committee? I’m sure many more level-headed conservatives cannot wait for her retirement in 2015, but the fact that she even got elected in the first place is an embarrassment to your party – and provides free ammo for people like Bill Maher (who I am not a fan of) to make fun of you.

1. Anyone who calls themselves a member of the Tea Party: Those of us who have a basic working knowledge of history know that the Boston Tea Party was a protest against the East India Tea Company and their monopoly on the tea trade, and not against healthcare reform and government spending which were a non issue until President Obama got elected. Few things are a better money maker for liberal pundits than reporting on rallies with misspelled signs with messages that are either ignorant and/or borderline racist.

In conclusion, I am, for the most part, not a conservative. I believe in the Constitution – all of it – not just the couple of amendments that we hear repeatedly misinterpreted both from the disingenuous and obtuse members of the GOP. There’s no need to defend the idiots on your side of the fence just because they’re on your side. It isn’t a victory to the opposition when you muffle the voices of batshit crazy in your own ranks. However, I think there is room for the rational members of both sides of the political aisle to work together, and we can start by eliminating these people from our daily conversation.  We can start ignoring them as much as possible so that they can finally fade into obscurity where they rightfully belong.


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