For the first time ever, Ted Cruz made me laugh yesterday. I was actually walking through a grocery store when I got the notification that Cruz had officially picked Carly Fiorina as his VP candidate. At that moment I instantly started chuckling. I had heard the rumors, but it wasn’t until it was official that I realized how incredibly sad it was.
In fact, I’ll argue that it’s one of the saddest moments in political history. It definitely trumps John McCain’s Hail Mary against Barack Obama in 2008 when he tabbed Sarah Palin to be on his ticket.
Let me explain.
1. He just got crushed the night before he made this announcement: April 26th wasn’t simply a bad night for Cruz – it was a catastrophe. Not only did he not win a single state, but it wasn’t even close. So it’s really pathetically sad that he made such a “major” announcement in a clear act of desperation after being trounced in the polls the night before.
2. He picked Carly Fiorina: Of all the people he could have picked, he literally picked one of the most unpopular people in the country. I’m not sure how choosing someone who wrecked a major tech company and was a fairly big disaster as a presidential candidate is going to help him in the general election if he somehow becomes the nominee. Does he think she’s going to help him with women voters? Please proceed, Senator.
3. He actually thinks she will help deliver him California: Look, I understand that you can’t worry about the general election before becoming the nominee, so Cruz has to focus on that before really thinking about much of anything else. But if he really thinks having Fiorina on his ticket is going to help him win California, a state where she unsuccessfully ran for the U.S. Senate, that’s comical. He could have probably picked practically anyone else with California ties and it would have helped him more than she will.
4. It’s Cruz basically admitting that Trump owns him: Say what you want about Fiorina, but she’s handled Trump’s attacks fairly well in the past. She’s a very well-spoken, calculated individual who does quite well when pitted up against someone who’s as sexist and vile as Trump. So, since Cruz has clearly not been able to “slay Trump,” he chose the one Republican female who’s actually done pretty well at attacking the egomaniacal New York billionaire. And I think he’s hoping she’ll be a great mouthpiece for his campaign when it comes to going after Trump in these last few weeks.
5. Carly Fiorina has already said she didn’t think Cruz can beat Clinton: While all politicians bash and attack each other during a campaign, Fiorina literally said the words, “Ted Cruz cannot possibly beat Hillary Clinton.” Not only that, but she said Cruz is just like every other politician who’ll say or do anything to get elected. I guess that’s true considering he picked her as his VP in a clearly desperate attempt to change the “story” from the buttkicking he took from Trump on April 26th, and in a seemingly sad attempt to recruit someone on his ticket who he feels can do a better job at attacking Trump since he’s failed miserably. This move had absolutely nothing to do with the general election as I don’t see any way Fiorina would serve as any benefit other than the very desperate hope that she could lure some of the female vote away from Hillary Clinton.
While there are more reasons why this move was incredibly sad, I think I’ve made my point. This was Ted Cruz basically throwing the most desperate Hail Mary in political history, at a time when the only way he can realistically become the Republican nominee is if Republicans decide to steal the nomination from Trump at the convention. And even if that were to happen, Cruz would have to contend with the fact that practically nobody in the Republican party likes him.
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