The 5 Worst Conservative Memes Of The Week – Texas Edition

impliedfacepalmThis is the tenth installment in our weekly fact-check series “The 5 Worst Conservative Memes Of The Week.” For last week’s article, see here. You can also find the remaining articles here.

For those of you who are seeing this for the first time, the idea behind the countdown is to spotlight the dumbest, most absurd, or downright horrible conservative memes that are floating around on social media. We also discuss the Facebook page or other social media accounts associated with them when applicable, as many of these images are used to advertise a website, petition, or political cause.


Again, if you are new here, this is the brief synopsis: Have you ever received those email forwards that tell you how people are putting HIV-loaded syringes on gas pump handles or that if you forward within 10 minutes, you will meet the person of your dreams? Yeah, it is that kind of rubbish designed to prey on the gullible or pull on your heartstrings – and in this case, it’s in the form of conservative memes.

With all of that out of the way, let’s get to the countdown. This week, I’m featuring derp specifically from Texas Republican pages:

5. I spent this past weekend at 40th annual Texas Renaissance Festival in the great state of Texas which I love, but good god, do they have some nutty politicians representing them. While Ted Cruz isn’t batshit insane like Louie Gohmert or Steve Stockman, he sure knows how to pander to the people who are. He posted this on his page a few days ago, along with a link to an unofficial poll on his website which unfortunately didn’t allow for me to add my own suggestion.

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In case you’re wondering, my suggestion for Cruz would have involved sticking a cactus in a very uncomfortable place – and no, not in the back of a VW. I found it especially funny that he included the option of repealing the Common Core educational standards that far too many conservatives think is part of a secret liberal agenda to turn their pure, white Christian kids into godless, gay atheists. Oh Texas, I love you but y’all need to do a better job of drowning out the voices of the far right, and get to the polls and vote. If the Texas GOP seems to be too embarrassed to list their statewide candidates other than Greg Abbott on voting reminders, certainly you can get out the vote and turn Texas blue.

4. This was posted back in July on Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott’s Facebook page, but I just now came across it.

Image from Greg Abbott's Facebook page.

Image from Greg Abbott’s Facebook page.

“Stand For Life” sure is a convenient slogan that requires very little mental work, which is perfect for a lot of the people who are voting for this slug of a human being. As much as I disliked Rick Perry, Greg Abbott ranks even lower in my book. This is a guy who helped run the execution express lane in Texas, despite The Innocence Project finding many people wrongfully convicted of crimes they didn’t commit in Texas alone. I don’t have a problem with the death penalty myself when used in open and shut cases, but the flagrant disregard shown by Greg Abbott and the Perry administration for human life makes this image the epitome of hypocrisy. It’s the usual case of claiming to protect a life that hasn’t even made it to viability yet, but then saying “screw you, I got mine” to anyone who might actually need anything other than token lip service. Whether it is leading the nation in executions or denying Medicaid expansion to Texas residents, Greg Abbott and Texas Republicans are anything but “pro-life.”


3. This one comes from the Facebook page for the Republican Party of Texas.

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Fast cars, firearms and freedom are a Texas thing? Alrighty then. Sure, Texas roads are pretty decent which allows you to drive 75 on some stretches of the interstate. I’m confused as to the firearms part though. Are they saying Texas gun laws are really lax (they aren’t really in comparison to other states) or are they just saying they have guns? As for freedom? I suppose if you’re a white, conservative, heterosexual male Christian then you might just have that privilege – otherwise you’re a mile up that proverbial creek without a paddle.

2. One of the pages liked by the Texas Republican Party is the page Texas Young Republicans, which I guess is supposed to show that Republican policies are appealing to young people in Texas. They posted this earlier in October which features what looks to be the eight people who actually interact with or run that page. It seems to be basically a ghost town otherwise.

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Notice anything about that photo other than the fact that on the original post, absolutely nobody clicked the “like” button in the 3+ weeks since it was uploaded? What is glaringly absent in this photo? Anybody?

1. I found this posted as a photo comment below a link on a page called The Real Wendy, which was set up to attack Wendy Davis’s candidacy for governor.

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There’s been a lot of smears and ridiculous assaults on her message, one of which included suggesting my friend Lamar White, Jr. who is a law student at SMU was somehow a prop for her campaign. However, this image is mild in comparison to others created by Greg Abbott supporters, which you can see here at the Dallas Observer.


And that’s it for this week. Join us next time for 5 more of the dumbest, most ridiculous conservative memes that we’ve found floating around social media. As always, remember that just because they put something on the internet, that doesn’t mean it’s true, or intelligent. Just ask all of those conservative bloggers trying to make their own dumber, even more click-baity versions of Upworthy.

Would you like to nominate a meme for me to debunk or feature in an upcoming list? Visit my Facebook page and leave me a message with a link to one you want to see addressed – you may just see it here. Thanks to all of the tips from our fans that help make writing this weekly column easier, and a lot of fun.

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  • Michael Siever

    I give up on #2. What is it that Manny is suggesting is missing? Black people? Guns on the table? Stickers actually indicating these people even are Republicans?

    • john

      Correct Mike! No Blacks, No Hispanics.

      • Michael Dillon

        Maybe I’m wrong, but the guy at the bottom right and the woman nearest him certainly look hispanic, or at least part hispanic.
        Maybe it is just the picture.

  • Stephen Barlow

    YOu are an idiot. and trying to sell a “fu*k U article about Fu*k paux’s…

    GET a GRIP!

  • David

    Can you cut your rambling and redundant introduction down from two paragraphs that restate the headline in every possible way to just a line or two? We’re not idiots, I just feel like you think we are.

  • TomDegan

    There is a movement now underway in Texas that would have that state secede from the union. This is where I let out a sigh of complete exasperation.

    I don’t think Texas independence is a particularly good idea for its citizens. This needs to be emphasized to these people as aggressively as possible because, let’s face it, most Texans (or at least the ones who vote) aren’t smart enough to know what’s good for them. Just look at the collection of
    chuckleheads they keep sending to Washington and Austin! You know what I’m talking about?

    In fact, secession is a perfectly hideous idea. It would take less than a year for its residents to realize that seceding from the union was a dreadful mistake. Without U.S. taxpayers keeping them afloat, the Lone Star State would have imploded decades ago. But if Texas insists on secession, fine. Let them go. Good bye and good riddance.

    For one-hundred and fifty years this country has had to twist itself into semantic pretzels making excuses to the rest of the planet for the idiocy of that place. And if secession is really the road they want to go down, I propose that we erect a wall to keep out the flood of refugees that will surely be flooding our border in no time at all. If Texas wants to leave, then, by all means, let them leave. We certainly shouldn’t come to blows militarily over the matter. A civil war over Texas? It wouldn’t be worth it. It’s not an asset to the union; it’s a national embarrassment.

    Let them have the right wing paradise of their warped fantasies. It would serve the silly bastards right.

    One last thought on this subject: Can you even imagine the “nation” of Texas with a nuclear weapon? Wouldn’t that be a hoot? Goodness gracious me!

    • MJ Madrid

      I would only agree to Texas seceding from the Union if they took Florida with them. I imagine the collective IQ of the country would rise by several points.