A Florida Town Has a Choice to Make: Allow Satanic Prayer or Violate Supreme Court Ruling

hell-1Unintended consequences.  That’s generally the moral of the story when it comes to the phrase “be careful what you wish for.”  While conservatives spend a lot of time trying to interject religion into places it doesn’t belong (most notably government legislation) they fail to understand that our Constitution gives Americans the freedom of religion.  Which can also be freedom from religion.

Recently the Supreme Court made a ruling that would allow prayers before town meetings as they claim these do not violate the Constitution by endorsing a religion.  You see, because these prayers have to be open to all religions, not limited to just one.

Okay, let’s say for the sake of argument that’s legal simply because our Supreme Court says so.  That means that any religions prayer can be said before these meetings – not just Christian prayers.  Though I think we all really know what conservatives mean when they say they want “prayer before meetings.”  They mean Christian prayers.  It’s the same thing we see when they want religion in our public schools.  They don’t want all religions, just the Christian religion.

Well, a Florida man has decided to exercise this right the Supreme Court has given towns across the United States by asking the town of Deerfield Beach, Florida to open their meetings with a Satanic prayer.

Wait, that’s not what conservatives meant when they said “religious freedom”?

Chaz Stevens, who is known for forcing Florida to erect an 8-foot-tall Festivus pole made of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer cans next to the town’s nativity scene, has essentially put the town in the precarious position of either allowing a satanic prayer to be said before one of the town’s meetings or violating the Supreme Court’s ruling pertaining to this issue.

Stevens said, “I just want equal billing. We allow various religious nutjobs to give a prayer. They pray to Jesus who is make-believe, god who is make-believe, why not Satan who is make-believe?”

I have to admit, even though I’m a Christian, I find this absolutely hilarious.  The town is essentially in a no-win situation.  If it denies this request it’s essentially violating a ruling that’s been handed down by the Supreme Court.  But it’s clear that those pushing to have prayer during government functions didn’t mean to give religious freedom to all religions, just theirs – which is almost always Christianity.

It seems that these conservative justices on the Supreme Court, in their continued efforts to trample our First Amendment rights, didn’t really think this one through, did they?

Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.


Facebook comments

  • Sue Roediger

    Because the court doesn’t dare rule that only Christian prayer is allowed ….. they have really opened a can of worms ….. I am not sure it is intentional.

    • Nathan Aldana

      Of course it isnt intentional. But SCOTUS and many “religious freedom” groups make it clear every day they dont see any other religion as legitimate except for christianity, and only use the term “religious freedom” to try and whitewash that they actually want “christian theocracy”

  • Barry

    Yeah but their make believe is actually the truth they believe. You may say your make believe is better make believe or truer make believe than most. But they hold the keys to make believe, father, son and holy ghost.

    • Yagami206

      As soon as you can give me their atomic weight, I’m in. Until then, screw ’em.

    • gallowaygrumblefield

      Make believe has real consequences. National policies are made according to religious beliefs. Think of Dominionism, and whether the earth deserves protection because Republicans are going to Heaven. Anne Coulter said she believes God wants us to rape the earth.

      • Barry

        Sure does Grumble. Humanity has been suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous fortunes made by slugs who use the fear and gullibility our make believe infects us with… since Adam decided he was gonna get him some of that. 🙂 The consequences are killing the planet.

  • Arachne646

    I’m not sure what I would do if I had to be at that town’s meeting. But is that prayer going to be any more offensive than the Supreme Court’s ruling itself?

  • Ronald Ventola

    All or none? I prefer none.

    • rtknight

      Most thinking rational people would prefer none, the problem is that the “Christian” right has forced this issue.

  • Sunnysmom

    Pardon my devious laughter, but this is simply awesome. Be careful what you wish for religious zealots, you’ll get more than you bargained for. Bahahaha Those darn equal rights just get in the way sometimes. lol

  • Dawn Donovan

    why not do the silent prayer thing where anyone who wants to pray will say their own to themselves…why must it be out in the open…no one should not be allowed to pray their own nor be forced to listen to another’s…..such a simple fix instead of such a mess


      Your premise is that everyone wants to say or not say a prayer in peace and quiet. If that were the case there would have been no need for the supreme court ruling. The people behind the ruling don’t want to pray quietly, they want you to hear it, and they want it to be standard. It makes them feel special because it’s their religion and it makes them feel superior because even if you do not share their religion, it is taking center stage.

      • DoctorButler

        It’s ironic, since the Bible, the preferred tome of the people in question, pretty clearly states that prayer is meant to be a private, solemn covenant with God, and suggest praying at home, in a quiet place.

        Instead, these weirdos like to pray as loudly as possible, in government buildings, which is also ironic, since one of the founding principles of the US was seperation of Church and State. Jefferson made that intention quite clear in many written documents.

        These people call themselves “patriots”, then betray our core ideals, they call themselves “Christians” and they’ve never even read a damn page.

      • Luke

        They have had some pages read to then sometimes though. That’s worth something, right?

      • David K

        Only if they were actually listening…and comprehending.

    • Cathy Neal

      Because that would defeat the purpose of having prayer to begin with. Praying out loud, in public before any civil meeting gives the impression to constituents that these people are good, moral people who are asking for divine guidance to justify the decisions they make. Like the Pharisees whom Christ condemned for theirr displays of hypocritical prayer.

      • Sue Roediger

        I think they need to do a little reading

        Matthew 6:5-6

        “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men.

        I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full.

        But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen.

        he, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

  • Dawn Donovan

    No doubt there is some truth the fact that people want center stage..how Christian is that? This is the problem with so many things these days…self-centered people who want it their way only. Think about how when the Pilgrims came here it was for religious freedom yet now others do not want to share that freedom. How foolish today’s world is, fighting over personal rights that should be personal not blasted out for all to accept and hear. Whether it be gay rights, religious freedom or whatever…we could all get along if we just respect each other, mind your business and practice what you observe and preach. If the Pilgrims had not done this there would be only one religion here today. Look around and instead of fighting differences, embrace them if you can and mind your business if it is behind closed doors. Freedom is abused here by hypocrites who want the freedom only for themselves and not others.

    • Cathy Neal

      Sorry, but the Puritan pilgrims were not fans of religious freedom, yet are always given credit for bringing that notion to our shores. Their beef was with the Anglican (Church of England) Church and wanted to separate themselves from that entity so they could create their own church but the Puritans had no tolerance for any other religious sect or individual believers. They persecuted Quakers and all other dissenters regardless of sect except their own. It was not until Roger Williams broke away from the group and went to Rhode Island and set up a free religious society where all were welcome did the first example of religious freedom exist here.

      • dagobarbz

        They ran around England being judgmental, oppressive dicks who got the theaters and music halls shut down because god wants miserable assholes for followers.

        So they sailed away because the good folk of the Blessed Isles were pissed off, as anyone would be when jerks spoil the fun, and started beating on them.

        Those Pilgrims were the suck; horrible, humorless folk who believed in the cold bath and witchcraft. And what we have now in America is a culture based on some of their influence. I would not have fed them maize. I would have fed them foxglove and Atlantic Barracuda.

      • Harroll Morris

        In the Puritans defense some of the things I hear today from the Right side of the political spectrum lead me to believe that THEY may be witches. 😉 Especially the disclaimer in a political commercial stating that she was NOT a witch. That alone must mean that she IS a witch. The only way to tell for sure is to weigh her against a large duck, and if she weighs the same then we get to burn her. Isn’t that the way it goes?

      • dagobarbz

        The other handy method, tie them up and throw them in the water. If she floats, she’s a witch. If she sinks, you just drowned an innocent woman. BUT AT LEAST SHE WASN’T A WITCH! Also, they turned me into a newt.

      • sherry06053

        Too bad they didn’t take up the Native American way of life instead of Christianity.

      • dagobarbz

        They come over here, refuse to learn the language and have to depend on donations for food.
        That was the pilgrims. Now their descendants are saying the same thing about Mexicans. Tch.

      • David K

        Absolutely classic, dude!!!

      • 1EdMeadows83

        That Roger Williams! He was a helluva piano player too!

    • Lee

      A lot of these folks are ignorant, fear based, rural shut-in types who only associate inside a very tiny social bubble and are never exposed to any counterarguments to strange beliefs and/or opinions. The “I heard it on Fox News” thing is alive and well in the micro-gossip halls across the rural USA.

    • Sue Roediger

      Matthew 6:5-6

      “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men.

      I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full.

      But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen.

      he, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

  • Edward Krebbs

    Major point in SCOTUS ruling was that the govt body had prayers led by people of all faiths. Now, a Satanist petitions to lead the public prayer. Who didn’t see that one coming ?

    • WilmRoget

      But he is not a Satanist, he thinks Satan is make-believe.

      • I’m sure we could find an actual Satanist willing to travel to Deerfield Beach to lead the prayer, if you wan to be all nit-picky about it…

      • WilmRoget

        It is not a matter of being nit-picky, or me. The law does have the concept of ‘standing’ – just as NOM couldn’t defend the ban on same-sex marriage for lack of it, someone who is not a satanist won’t have standing for a ‘I’m being discriminated against for being a satanist’ case.

      • Flory Toto

        Actually it says right in the Satanic Bible that Satan isn’t real and that IF he was, he would be the Church’s best friend by serving as a boogeyman scaring people into the arms of the Church. Laveyan Satanism is actually more closely related to Atheism with ‘Satan’ being used to represent indulgence vs. abstinence as opposed to the Church’s abstinence vs. indulgence.

      • That doesn’t matter.

      • WilmRoget

        Integrity does not matter?

      • Smatchmo

        Actual Satanist also believe that Satan isn’t real, just a useful anthropomorphic figure.

      • WilmRoget

        Not the many I have known.

  • dagobarbz

    the downside is, if any penalties are imposed it will come out of public money, not the pockets of the faithful…

  • Beth

    Prayers to the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

    • Crystal Lee

      All hail his noodliness! Feel his noodly appendages!


      • gjbivin


      • sfwm.son

        and those communion meatballs… perfecto!

  • dicky buttz


  • Brian Cain-Grajales

    touche, sir, touche

    • Jahade Ramos

      I have waited until the end to post my simple comment. When the Muslims take over, and they will, there will be no more argumants as to who, what and where.

  • Harroll Morris

    Darn it, He should have asked for a Pastafarian prayer to the Flying Spaghetti Monster!!!

    • Elijah Allen

      you could do that in your town

  • Genie Christie Long

    Bwa-ha-ha-ha! Gonna be hard to sit down for a while with that big ol’ bite mark on their butt, eh?

  • Sue Roediger

    it looks like some Christians have forgotten — that Jesus said —

    Matthew 6:5-6

    “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men.

    I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full.

    But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen.

    He, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

    • sfwm.son

      how many times are you going to post that, Sue?

      • Sue Roediger

        well since not everyone reads every comment I didn’t want anyone to miss it. Out loud dramatic sermons, disguised as prayer have no place in government proceedings. A moment of silence……… is appropriate. But for some “preacher to get up and invoke a blessing “in Jesus’ name” in a divers society such as our is ……….. just wrong.
        I recently attended a healing service ay my church. It was a small group of about a dozen. There was a Eucharist service, with communion. There is a woman who frequently attends services, although she is Jewish. Obviously she did not go forward for communion, but the priest cane to her, put her hand on her shoulder and whispered a blessing. I couldn’t help but hear it – it was tailored to her and her faith.
        O don’t know why we can’t be more accepting of each other.

  • forgiven

    Are you insinuating that liberals aren’t Christian? Only Conservatives? This is a sad day! When you say something stupid and feel funny or guilty it’s not by accident, that’s your conscience!

  • Rez™

    “Goose. Gander. Hail Satan.”

  • WilmRoget

    Well, by saying that it is all make believe, he kinda gave the town a way out – since he is not expressing a sincere religious position.

  • Natethegreat

    I’ve noticed that normally what people hate in life, is what they need to change about themselves. Especially political christians

  • Maria Correa

    I’d love video of the prayers being given

  • allinfun

    now a respected local Muslim leader needs to demand equal time

  • Equality Jones

    If you need external and highly visible displays of your religious practices to feel like you are a real (fill in the blank with whatever religious follower here), then you are missing the point of what living your faith means. The spiritual practice is solely for you. If your faith needs validating by having everyone witness what a devout (fill in the blank) you are, then more than likely worshiping your ego. Let your life be the example. Stop needing everyone else to validate your chosen faith. Welcome to America where we honor all religions by favoring none.