An Open Letter to the Religious Right: The Gay Marriage War is Over – And You Lost

gaymarriageDear Pat Robertson, Rick Santorum, Tony Perkins and anybody else who still opposes equal rights, the following letter is written to you by a heterosexual who is really just massively tired of your shit.

With Hawaii becoming the 15th state to legalize gay marriage, and Illinois right behind them, we are now about 1/3rd of the way to marriage equality here in the United States. Ten years ago, when that glowing beacon of liberalism called Massachusetts was the first to extend the right to get married and be miserable together to all adults regardless of gender, there was some grumbling and gnashing of teeth on your part. It took another 5 years before Connecticut joined the rest of modern society when their Supreme Court also decided that the objections of the religious right and cliched statements about God making “Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve” didn’t outweigh the right to equality under the law.



After that, we’ve had a small flood of states making the same judgements despite your outcries of Sodom and Gomorrah and other cherry-picked Old Testament verses that were surrounded by instructions against eating shellfish, shaving or wearing clothing with more than one type of fiber.

Sure, you can hang on to the Deep South and hole up in the last holdout of “godliness” which is that bastion of poverty and illiteracy social conservatism that comprises Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama as well as the hollers of the Appalachian Mountains stretching up into Virginia. However, you’re fighting a losing battle. It’s not only a losing battle, but it is a doomed one.

A decade before I was born, Hurricane Camille hit my home state of Virginia. It was a storm that slammed into the Gulf of Mexico, but nobody thought much of it in the Commonwealth. At first, it was just a light rain hitting the window panes of churches and homes on a warm August evening in Nelson County, but it quickly became a deluge that literally ripped away the sides of mountains, leaving scars there that you can still see to this day.


What is the parallel between this and your opposition to marriage equality? Like a hurricane, the eventuality of complete marriage equality across the civilized world (as well as Mississippi) is bearing down upon you. You can pack up and move on to the next issue (no, not abortion), or you can stay and be washed down the river of irrelevance. That’s your choice. I’d just ask you to remember how silly your parents or grandparents sound now at family gatherings or in randomly forwarded emails when they complain about desegregation or interracial marriage. It really is the same thing.

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  • Ginger

    The problem is, many of them still agree with segregation and oppose interracial marriage so your examples are not going to get through to them.

    • Mr Smith

      To this day there are high schools that ban interracial dates at proms. The fight for equality is far from over.

      • Sandy

        In the deep fried South, nothing must ever change or for sure the end of the world will come. Everything must stay the same to keep the balance.

  • Lyola M Roeske Shafer

    Thiwill be pursued as long as it still raises money.

  • scottrose

    The only good anti-LGBT bigot is a dead anti-LGBT bigot.

    • Webster

      The irony is absolutely comical here. Did you think this up yourself?

    • AQ

      I could say the same thing about misogynists.

  • vexnsiolence

    Only in the fantasy land the LGBT live in that they think it is “over” and that they “won”……hahahahaha

    • Riddix Nicholson

      Utah one of the most religious states has marriage equality. There are signs of progression within the population and acceptance. Ask your teenage daughter or son, or the teenagers around you if you don’t have any. Ask without influence or a sign of bias, ask them if they have LGBT friends, ask them if they believe that those friends should be alone or unwed their whole lives?

      I think that I being in that generation would know the answer. My LDS friends ages (16-23) even think I deserve that special day, everyone waits for in their life time. The views of the world are changing. and currently you’re on the wrong side of history.

      But I forgive you, because you know not what you do, and because its the Christian thing to do. Instead of turning up my nose at you, like you seem to have done to your LGBT brothers and sisters, I welcome your opinion and hope that you can learn to be more compassionate and caring.

    • Brian

      “Segregation now and forever!”
      Boy he sure was right, wasn’t he?

  • Ernst_Breithaupt

    If being gay is a choice then that lifestyle is that much more irrelevant. I have no heterosexual obligation to understand them because understanding is a societal construct and heterosexuality built society.

    We do not need to adapt to them just as they have nothing to contribute to us. It is the homosexuals responsibility to understand the heterosexual world. Those children do not belong to them, they need to butt out.

    A view of the planet from outer space could put things into perspective for some people. It will remind them what the definition of progress actually is.

    I do not need to remind you which people of this planet made such a perspective possible.

    • James

      I think it is actually you who needs to butt out. You think the “homosexual lifestyle” doesn’t offer anything to the “society that heterosexuality built” then that’s your problem and your prejudice. Ever heard of kin selection? The “remember who made this planet possible” pandering is just pathetic.

      • Anonymous

        Um,,,,,Heterosexuality did not build American society. Many of the founding “fathers” were gay. I am a hetero who has studied the subject through an anthropological perspective and I know of which I speak. And, we have had one gay president. It was just not such a big deal back then for men to remain “bachelors” for life but have a really close male friend (with benefits). No ones sex life was discussed back then because it was a private decision.

    • AQ

      You do realize that the man whose ideas led to the invention of the PC was gay, right?

    • Riddix Nicholson

      You talk about our society as if it’s only ever been built by heterosexuals, western culture’s greatest philosophers participated in homosexual acts, the fundamental bricks to our government and our ideas of the world were laid by these men from Ancient Greece, Who did participate in those sexual acts.

      You have the right to say what you please, but you should really do your research. I’m not saying that these men were gay, they weren’t, but they did have homosexual experiences.

      These are the men who helped society progress and grow. these were the teachers, the thinkers, and the believers in something bigger than us, bigger than our view of the world. Even bigger than your view from outer space. Sure heterosexual activity is needed in reproduction. but from your view from outer space you can see that we have over populated. People are starving, supplies are becoming scarce. China’s One-child policy is well known. They put that in place because they needed to alleviate social, economic, and environmental problems.

      The segregation in your comment is disgusting. We are no different than you. I live my life the best I can, as I hope you do. I go to school, I work, I have bills, I cook food, I do all the same things you do in order to live, other than my sexual preference is different than yours there is nothing that different between us.

      As for children, I think the more the merrier. I’m from a split home, and I love my mom, my step dad, and my dad to death. Idk what I’d do without my mother’s new husband. If a child is sitting in an orphanage needing a family who cares the gender. I’d love them the same way you would and they need a place to call home. If this child is sitting in an orphanage, chances are it was a heterosexual family you wasn’t ready to have children. Why not let two loving adults show that child what it is to be in a family, gay or straight.

      Homosexuals don’t halt progression: arrogance and discrimination does. We aren’t asking heterosexuals to stop getting wed and having children. We are only asking for the same benefits as everyone else, adoption, filing taxes, death benefits, insurance benefits, being the next of kin if our loved one is in the hospital ill, we only want those things already given to you, and there isn’t a good enough reason for them to continue denying them.

      • Jacobb Chapman

        You’re a good American.

      • Riddix Nicholson

        Thank you! I try!

    • Brian

      I can think of literally dozens of homosexuals who helped built the modern world including every single important Greek artist, philosopher, and scientist from classical and Hellenic Greece, numerous Romans, William Shakespeare, Leonardo Da Vinci, and Baron von Steuben (the reason why America is still not a colony).

  • Parker

    Many people in the Deep South as well as in the Appalachian mountains support marriage equality. It is not wise to put an entire region of people under the same umbrella. As a liberal gay male from Tennessee, I can assure you that there are plenty of literate, educated, liberal progressives who want nothing more than federal marriage equality. And many of them live in nice houses, too, by the way, and hold down respectable jobs. I’d expect less ignorance from someone from such a graceful state as Virginia.

    • Brian

      Be that as it may, polls show that people in favour of marriage equality are far, far, far outnumbered by bigots across the bible belt. Not that it will matter once the Supreme Court convenes and makes marriage equality a federal mandate.

  • Mr Norml

    It is a choice, Damn heteros should stop having gay kids. They’re obviously not coming from gay sexual encounters.