Bipartisan Agreement Reached in the Senate to Eliminate the House of Representatives for Being Incompetent

mcconnell-reidApparently fed up with the embarrassment that’s known as our House of Representatives, the Senate is seeking to change our Constitution, and has come to an agreement to eliminate the House from our process of governing.

In a joint press conference attended by Harry Reid and Mitch McConnell, the senators seemed in agreement that the House of Representatives has to go.

Reid opened his remarks by saying, “I know this might come as a shock to some of you, but I just can’t take this crap anymore.  While I know the Senate isn’t perfect, and we have our own clowns like Ted Cruz, our issues pale in comparison to the child-like temper tantrums the House of Representatives continues to throw each and every year.”

McConnell agreed, saying, “And polls say I’m the weak Republican leader in Congress?  Was John Boehner a part of those polls?  Have you seen how incompetent he is?  He can’t even get his caucus to support his own bills.”

“This level of utter stupidity must end,” Reid went on to say, “and it starts with the House of Representatives being eliminated from our government.  As Senate leaders, myself and Mr. McConnell don’t always agree, but we’ve at least been able to come together on most key issues to craft a plan to pass legislation.  From the fiscal cliff, to immigration, to the deal we’ve been working on to reopen the government, we’ve at least shown a willingness to work together when we have to.  And while we’re far from efficient, at least when we must get something done, we can usually find a way to find some kind of compromise.”

One Republican senator who wished to remain anonymous said, “The House of Representatives couldn’t pass a True/False quiz if you told them all of the answers on the quiz were “true.”  The entire branch is broken.  They give a whole new meaning to the phrase “inefficient government,” and they’ve taken it to a level never before seen in the history of our great country.”

A comment on this proposal was sought from John Boehner or any member of the House of Representatives, but they couldn’t come to an agreement on who would make the statement and what they would say.  Some House Republicans then blamed it on President Obama and “Obamacare.”

But of course, none of this is true.  Though part of me wishes it were.  The House of Representatives continues to be the biggest problem we face in our government.  What was once the branch of government meant to represent the people, has now become a circus with too many clowns trying to perform at once while the animals trample the crowd.

Granted, the Senate is far from perfect.  After all, Ted Cruz is a senator, but at least some Republican senators have shown a slight willingness to work with Democrats on some of the major issues that could really harm our country.  House Republicans seem determined not to rest until they’ve reduced the government, which many of them so fiercely oppose, to rubble.

But what should we expect?  These people campaign for office by saying government is terrible, and what better way to prove that government is horrible than by sabotaging it from the inside?  Which seems to be what many of these tea party-backed Republicans seem determined to do.

And while the first part of this article is satire, there’s really nothing funny about the joke that the tea party has turned our government into.  Because while our government has had its fair share of issues, it’s never reached the levels of total incompetence that we’ve witnessed since 2010.

Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.


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