Oh Bobby Jindal, I just can’t quit you. Actually, it’s more like we in the “liberal mainstream media” can’t quit you. I mean after all, you stated that you wanted to end “dumbed down conservatism” when you spoke to Politico after the 2012 election in which Obama pretty much pulled up Romney’s magic underwear and gave him a wedgie as America laughed. Here’s the full quote, just in case you don’t remember it:
“It is no secret we had a number of Republicans damage our brand this year with offensive, bizarre comments — enough of that,” Jindal said. “It’s not going to be the last time anyone says something stupid within our party, but it can’t be tolerated within our party. We’ve also had enough of this dumbed-down conservatism. We need to stop being simplistic, we need to trust the intelligence of the American people and we need to stop insulting the intelligence of the voters.” (Source)
And you know what? For a brief moment, a few of us in the media suspended disbelief and thought that just maybe you would somehow move the party back ever so slightly to the center. Maybe you’d finally get the country club Republicans to say enough and kick the snake handling preachers, the fundamentalists and the conspiracy nuts off your golf course – even if it meant they would go vote for someone like Virgil Goode or David Duke. In the autopsy report for the 2012 election, it was quite obvious to you and just about everyone else that pandering to those very people was what killed any chance Romney would ever have at sitting behind the desk at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. In that moment of suspended disbelief, the possibility crossed my mind that your party would even be willing to lose a couple of election cycles in order to get your political house in order, even if it meant doing the political version of fumigating the entire place to get rid of the cockroaches.
A sensible Republican governor from a Southern state, the son of Indian immigrants. You could’ve been a 2016 contender, Bobby. You could have shown everyone that the Republican Party had ideas that didn’t just work for rich white men, but also for everyone – including minorities like yourself. Instead of taking your own advice, you chose to go straight back to the “derp.”
Remember when you said that President Obama could “learn from Louisiana“? I thought that was hilarious – even more so when I found out you intended that as a serious statement. Or how about that time you appointed Tony Perkins, who is the head of a documented hate group, to the Louisiana Law Enforcement Commission? At first I thought this had to be a joke, but upon further investigation I just shook my head and said “that’s my governor.” Then just the other day I found out you decided to hire an out-of-state firm at the cost of $4 million dollars to find ways to save money in the state budget. That one had me in stitches, seriously.
I don’t know if you intended this latest statement as humorous but it was just icing on the cake for writers like me. Now for those of you who are reading and aren’t from here, Louisiana is still quite segregated. So much so that in some parts of Louisiana, there are still “white churches” and “black churches,” often right down the street from each other. Bobby Jindal has been trying to ram a school voucher system through (really just a ploy to move taxpayer dollars to private religious schools) and he’s been repeatedly blocked by the Justice Department due to the fact that many of Louisiana’s school districts are still under desegregation orders after all these years. That’s why the following statement, in his own words and from his own website, is so ridiculous that I had to make sure I hadn’t fallen asleep and woken up in Michele Bachmann’s diary:
“The Department of Justice proposal reeks of federal government intrusion and proves the people in Washington running our federal government are more interested in skin color than they are in education.” (Source)
That’s right, Bobby Jindal claims that the Justice Department is being racist for not letting him push a voucher system that will essentially create two separate school systems – in other words, segregation. Seriously though Bobby, you’re a gold mine for political writers like myself. If it wasn’t for the fact that your incompetence (even though you are very well-educated) at running a state was affecting the 4.6 million people who are unfortunate enough to have you as their governor, the dumb things you keep on doing would be hilarious. I really do hope you run for president – Hillary will eat you alive.
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