Once upon a time I had a friend who had a boyfriend who always cheated on her. And while he disgusted me, she drove me absolutely insane. See, he had somehow convinced her that his infidelity was her fault. That somehow something she was doing, or not doing (I never got into specific details), “forced” him to cheat.
Now I know there are psychological aspects to this which factor in some, but it was still maddening to see some cheating bastard like her boyfriend try to convince her that his immoral behavior was somehow her fault.
You even see this attitude when it comes to rape. People saying things like, “Well, did you see what she was wearing? She had it coming!” They mostly absolve the perpetrators of a crime, instead shifting the responsibility to the victims.
Well, that seems to be exactly what Blessed Sacrament and St. Thomas the Apostle is trying to do when it blamed a mother of two for her children being sexually abused by Reverend Curtis Wehmeyer.
Even though when the church made him a pastor in 2009, they knew about Wehmeyer’s questionable sexual past.
Yet, according to the Archdiocese lawyers, in court filings this month they said she should not have allowed her children to spend time alone with Wehmeyer.
The archdiocese also said in its filing, “She was aware of the time (her son) spent with Mr. Wehmeyer, and she knew that such interaction was contrary to established Archdiocese policy.”
So, let me get this straight. It’s her fault that she allowed her children around a reverend of a church? Here’s a “whacky” idea, how about the church doesn’t employ people whom they know have a history of questionable sexual exploits? Did that ever cross their mind?
It’s absolutely absurd that the church is trying to deflect blame for employing someone with a history of being sexually deviant onto this mother because the guy who they put in a position to be around young children sexually abused them.
While these stories are unfortunately not that uncommon, a parent still shouldn’t have to ask a church, “Hey, so are my children at risk of being molested by any of the sexual deviants you’ve knowingly employed?”
For the record, Wehmeyer pleaded guilty in 2012 to sexually abusing two boys, ages 12 and 14, and possessing child pornography.
Then to make matters worse, the church has reduced the funding that it originally agreed to pay to the family so the children could receive therapy to cope with the issues that they’re dealing with after the sexual abuse.
The mother said, “It nauseates me to go to Mass and hear in the prayers of the faithful them say, ‘Let’s pray for the victims and their families,’ when I’ve got a lien on my taxes because they won’t pay my son’s bill.”
This story is appalling on so many levels. For the church to knowingly employ a sexual deviant is inexcusable by itself. But then after sexual abuse occurs, for this church to actually try to put the blame on the mother is just – well, there aren’t really words to describe it.
I just hope this woman, and her two children, find a way to finally find peace and get the help they deserve. And I hope these corrupt individuals working within this church get exactly what they deserve.