Catholic Church Blames Mother of 2 for Her Children Being Sexually Abused by Reverend

blessed-sacrament-st-thomas-the-apostleOnce upon a time I had a friend who had a boyfriend who always cheated on her.  And while he disgusted me, she drove me absolutely insane.  See, he had somehow convinced her that his infidelity was her fault.  That somehow something she was doing, or not doing (I never got into specific details), “forced” him to cheat.

Now I know there are psychological aspects to this which factor in some, but it was still maddening to see some cheating bastard like her boyfriend try to convince her that his immoral behavior was somehow her fault.

You even see this attitude when it comes to rape.  People saying things like, “Well, did you see what she was wearing?  She had it coming!”  They mostly absolve the perpetrators of a crime, instead shifting the responsibility to the victims.

Well, that seems to be exactly what Blessed Sacrament and St. Thomas the Apostle is trying to do when it blamed a mother of two for her children being sexually abused by Reverend Curtis Wehmeyer.


Even though when the church made him a pastor in 2009, they knew about Wehmeyer’s questionable sexual past.

Yet, according to the Archdiocese lawyers, in court filings this month they said she should not have allowed her children to spend time alone with Wehmeyer.

The archdiocese also said in its filing, “She was aware of the time (her son) spent with Mr. Wehmeyer, and she knew that such interaction was contrary to established Archdiocese policy.”

So, let me get this straight.  It’s her fault that she allowed her children around a reverend of a church?  Here’s a “whacky” idea, how about the church doesn’t employ people whom they know have a history of questionable sexual exploits?  Did that ever cross their mind?

It’s absolutely absurd that the church is trying to deflect blame for employing someone with a history of being sexually deviant onto this mother because the guy who they put in a position to be around young children sexually abused them.

While these stories are unfortunately not that uncommon, a parent still shouldn’t have to ask a church, “Hey, so are my children at risk of being molested by any of the sexual deviants you’ve knowingly employed?”

For the record, Wehmeyer pleaded guilty in 2012 to sexually abusing two boys, ages 12 and 14, and possessing child pornography.

Then to make matters worse, the church has reduced the funding that it originally agreed to pay to the family so the children could receive therapy to cope with the issues that they’re dealing with after the sexual abuse.


The mother said, “It nauseates me to go to Mass and hear in the prayers of the faithful them say, ‘Let’s pray for the victims and their families,’ when I’ve got a lien on my taxes because they won’t pay my son’s bill.”

This story is appalling on so many levels.  For the church to knowingly employ a sexual deviant is inexcusable by itself.  But then after sexual abuse occurs, for this church to actually try to put the blame on the mother is just – well, there aren’t really words to describe it.

I just hope this woman, and her two children, find a way to finally find peace and get the help they deserve.  And I hope these corrupt individuals working within this church get exactly what they deserve.

Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.

Comments

Facebook comments

  • AdriWho

    Definitely feel sorry for the children and the church is definitely at fault and so is the mother. This day and age you should never leave your children with anyone yet alone a pastor in the catholic church!! No it’s not every pastor but it apparently seems like it’s a good 70% of them so with those odds why trust them. Then again, if you are a religious person, you are conditioned to follow and not use your own common sense. So everyone is of equal blame EXCEPT the poor children.

    • Sunny Ray

      The church and the mother are at fault? Following your reasoning, since some fathers sexually abuse their kids, we should NEVER let kids alone with their fathers… very interesting!! Think twice before writing such absurdity.
      Also, 70%? Where did you get this number? Do you have any source to support that??
      “if you are a religious person, you are conditioned to follow and not use your own common sense”… you know what, that one I won’t comment because you’re making yourself a fool…

      • AdriWho

        I don’t think I wrote anything absurd even though I was in fact generalizing. Maybe I should have indicated alone with anyone you really don’t know, even though you can’t trust some that you do know or family either. But why KNOWINGLY leave them alone with a pastor considering all of the rapes committed by the pastors/priests of the catholic church that the entire world knows about!!!!! Would you leave your kids alone with them? No you would not. And if you read correctly, I stated it “seems as if” so the word seems clearly indicated that my statement was not fact based. And you won’t comment about my statement on being a religious person is because you know deep down it’s true! You end it with a slight insult which is what most do when they have nothing to contradict, so they begin insulting and name calling thinking they are deflecting from the fact they have no valid argument.

      • Sunny Ray

        Generalizing is absurd, especially such awful case. I’m sorry if I hurt you, it wasn’t my goal, I just said that doing so you are insulting yourself. You blame the mother for her kids being raped, that is absurd too. Also, if again you are generalizing don’t try to put any numbers, doesn’t make any sense. I don’t leave my kids alone with priests because I don’t take them to church, I’ll let them choose their own religion once their are grown enough to do so, it’s a choice, and the mom made the choice to trust a religion which is based on trust. I leave my kids with my brother, cousin or uncle and grandparents. Rapist priests are not a generality or normality in catholic church or any church.

      • AdriWho

        Thank you for the apology but I wasn’t hurt. We don’t know each other so so I don’t let words hurt me but thank you. Healthy discussion whether we agree or not is just more positive! It’s interesting that you can say rapist priest are not a generality or normality yet if I say it seems to be, I am being absurd. Yes, I partially blame the mother because why take the chance given the history of a whole lot of priest doing such horrible things to children, mostly male children. So it’s her job not to trust just anyone with her kids, especially if it’s a well known problem in whatever – daycare, YMCA, summer camp, home day care, child after school care, church – wherever it is where it’s more common than not that children are being raped. If she knew a particular chain of grocery stores had a problem with tainted beef, she wouldn’t buy her beef from them and probably wouldn’t risk buying any meat from them. But her kids??? Yeah let me leave them alone with the pastor at the catholic church because the odds are it’s not generally a normality, I’m going to trust because it’s the church. Well as a parent it’s your job to assume it is a normality and not trust it especially since there are SO MANY known issues & cover ups about these rapes. That’s what I’m saying. Why put you kids in even 1% of the possibility?

      • Sunny Ray

        Well, if you want to make weird comparisons… here’s one.
        Automobile is the deadliest form of transportation, does it prevent you to take your kids to school in it? Or even to buy one? You don’t have the choice, they have to go to school somehow. Or you need to go to work, go to groceries etc… The mom needs the church for many possible reasons, tradition, believes, convenience etc… Finally, why catholic? well, you have to have a car nowadays, but you still have the freedom to choose the brand 😉

      • AdriWho

        Indeed that is a weird and valid comparison on a totally different scale HOWEVER it’s still not and never will be KNOWINGLY leaving your child in an environment prone to raping children. PERIOD.

        Haha, why that brand? Who knows but you’d think she might try a different one at this point. And I’m atheist so it behooves me why anyone this day and age would choose any of them. 🙂

      • Sunny Ray

        If you are generalizing i guess you are right, but you assimilate very bad people with very good people, which is wrong. PERIOD.

      • AdriWho

        Yes, you are bsolutely right! I am assimilating very bad people with very good people and this isn’t right But those good people are not a priority or my concern over innocent children!! Safety of children is my priority! So I’d much rather be wrong in this case & accept the fact everyone thinks I’m wrong, as opposed to taking a risk–the slightest risk– in leaving innocent children in a situation that can potentially cause them far greater harm than people calling my thoughts “absurd”.

        So yes. I’d rather be wrong in my assumptions if it means keeping children safer! PERIOD Because that’s my bottom line & I would think that would be everyone’s bottom line, but I guess it’s not.

    • colleen2

      The notion that the mother is just as responsible for the rape of her children as the rapist and the men who hired the child rapist is pathetic and repulsive in it’s inability to place the blame and responsibility where they obviously belong.

      • AdriWho

        The mother is partially responsible for leaving her children alone with a pastor of a catholic church especially since the entire world knows of the rapes that occur. Would you leave your kids alone with a pastor of the church? No you would not. So yes, placing the blame and responsibility where it belongs which is partially on the mother. She left them alone in a place known world wide for child rape and molestation. But we live in in a time where no one wants to take responsibility for their part. The church needs to pay fully so those poor kids get help but we must be real here, those are HER kids and she needs to take some responsibility.

      • Andy Kinnard

        It boggles the mind that you repeatedly advance this position. What the Church is supposed to be known for is compassion, community and Christ. These priests are supposed to be the most honorable and trustworthy people in that community, and, yet, you find it within the bounds of credibility to blame someone who trusts that most trusted person. It’s a very strange logic you employ.

      • AdriWho

        Well logically when it’s an issue known worldwide, I don’t logically understand why anyone would take the risk with the children by leaving them there. But then again that’s just my opinion, that’s all it is. That’s what the church is supposed to be known for but again in my opinion it’s not.

      • colleen2

        The Religious right appears to be a coalition based on blaming women and children for the behavior of pathetic, twisted men.

      • AdriWho

        Just to be clear I’m an atheist — definitely not part of any religious right.

      • colleen2

        I do not care how you label yourself.

  • CherMoe

    I hope this mother SUES the church for huge sums of money. I’m sorry, but this is NOT “Christian” behavior and for the church to cover it up and put children at risk is CRIMINAL. She needs to SUE and get compensation for her children’s treatment. Churches (Catholic and non-Catholice) alike dance to their own tune. They have their own laws, and it’s time to bring them into the 21st century and SUBJECT these pedophile priests to CIVIL AND CRIMINAL penalties and JAIL TIME. And when the church KNOWINGLY continues to employ these deviant priests, THEY should be held criminally and financially responsible. I’m Catholic and I think this is only RIGHT.

    • Sunny Ray

      I’m catholic too, by education, and I was thinking… since there is no way catholic church would allowed marriage for their priests, why don’t they just castrate them…. I mean, animal behavior -> animal prevention… In that case, allowing marriage wouldn’t solve the problem for a pedophile, so… 😉

      • Guile Williams

        You’re missing the point of being a priest. When you become one you are supposed to have the DISCIPLINE to control your temptations since you have made a commitment to serve God and rid yourself of temptations that are sinful. This is part of the reason I am no longer a Catholic.

      • Sunny Ray

        I know Guile, I was being satiric 😉

      • AdriWho

        Even though I’m atheist I agree with your statement. If you are going to serve god, control yourself. Yet I still find it sad some people need fictional beings to have self control and moral decency. Sad

      • Guile Williams

        🙂 The only reason I still believe in God is because there have been too many coincidences in my life where things work out for me at the very last second and it makes me wonder. Although my belief structure more closely makes me Agnostic.

      • missionaccomplished

        Were you a priest?

      • Guile Williams

        Do I need to be for my comment to be any more true?

      • Li Tempo

        There is a difference between lay people and the clergy!

      • Guile Williams

        No kidding, really? And that makes my statement any less true how?

    • missionaccomplished

      No, of course, not. But it also creates the perfect pretext for the anti-Catholic, once of the Right, now on the Left.

      • Guile Williams

        There are two parts to Christianity which have notably been labeled the “Right” and the “Left.” The right are more stuck in the past with the old cruel ways of doing things and the left are more what Christianity is evolving into.

      • missionaccomplished

        You missed my point. I am taking about the anti-Catholicism of the pre-JFK era in American history ranging from the early colonial days when Quakers would save Catholics from raging mobs. See Beard AN ECONOMIC INTERPRETATION OF THE CONSTITUTION as well as historian Arthur Schlesinger SR, who wrote that anti-Catholicism was present in our history almost from Day One; and John Higham, STRANGERS IN THE LAND: PATTERNS OF AMERICAN NATIVISM, which almost documents anti-Catholicism because it was perceived as “foreign.” In post JFK era, anti-Catholicism was borrowed from the Left in a knee-jerk reaction to the Church’s stand on on-demand abortion, and much more recently, “same-sex marriage,” EVEN THOUGH priests like the Berrigans and Thomas Merton participated in the civil rights and anti-war movements, and other priests in the 80s spearheaded the Sanctuary Movement and the anti-nuclear movement in which priests and nuns were arrest. Ah. BUT EVEN THIS wasn’t “good enough” for many in the Left, thus the anti-Catholic bigotry among many in the Left. In the meantime, Protestants on the Right, become more tolerant of Roman Catholics simply because they saw eye-to-eye on certain positions.

  • hermanprovi

    Recently, the “affluence” defense cleared a young man of killing four people, Now the Church, has brought out the “don’t blame us for your STUPIDITY in allowing your child to spend time with an acknowledged predator, as it’s pastor” defense. What a slippery slope defenses have taken since the “twinkly defense” introduced and allowed to let the murderer of Mayor Mascone and Harvey Milk go free.

  • Barbara Harrison

    They will

  • Joyce Holmes Buchner

    I thought sexual predator pedophiles were not allowed around children and had to stay a certain distance away. How could he be allowed to be around children? This is disgusting.

    • nwbennu

      Because he was protected by the church, so no criminal charges were involved. That seems to be the way with the pedophile Catholic diocese. They just tranfser the offenders to a different church, so they can “spread the wealth”. Having worked for a state risk management office, I have seen case file after case file where this was their solution when horrible abuses were coming to light at their state funded troubled youth camps.

      • ohknowyoudidnt

        “Wehmeyer pleaded guilty in 2012 to sexually abusing two boys, ages 12 and 14, and possessing child pornography. He is now serving a prison sentence.

      • nwbennu

        And prior to molesting the subject of this article’s 12 & 14 year old children, “Even though when the church made him a pastor in 2009, they knew about Wehmeyer’s questionable sexual past…”. So they hired him knowing he was a pedophile, leading to the sexual abuse of the two victims this story is about. It is obvious their mother opted to have charges filed. Very different than the church reporting the sexual abuse, which is a federally mandated requirement, by the way. Any person who is in a position of authority is legally bound to report abuse to the appropriate authorities when they have knowledge of such abuse that involves minors, the elderly, or incapacitated adults.

    • missionaccomplished

      They are both hetero and homosexual.

  • Jax

    I would NEVER leave my child alone with anyone I didn’t know and 100% trust!!! Yes the church is at fault but in this day and age knowing the Catholic Church has had a very high number of perverts working for them would make me even more suspicious if one of them wanted to spend time alone with my child! Are you all so blind that you don’t believe the mother wasn’t a small bit in the wrong!? I don’t care who it is my sons school principal his dentist or our pastor NO ONE needs to have alone time with my innocent son! My job is to protect him if that makes others feelings hurt to bad I protect him not them…. I am not saying she is all to blame but she needs to accept some responsibility.

    • Jax

      Oh and the argument about blaming the victim is true yet you are confused in this case the mother is not the victim her children are and I didn’t hear the church blaming them.

    • Chomper Lomper Tawee

      I guess you watch them all day at school so they’re never alone with a teacher or the janitor??

      • AdriWho

        Teachers and janitors are not known WORLDWIDE FOR RAPING CHILDREN. CATHOLIC PRIESTS/PASTORS ARE! So why would anyone with any common sense KNOWINGLY leave their kid alone with the clergymen of the church??

      • Sunny Ray

        As Jax said “I would NEVER leave my child alone with anyone I didn’t know and 100% trust!!!” I guess he knew all his kid’s teachers…

    • AdriWho

      EXACTLY!!!

    • AdriWho

      Hard to see why people just don’t get it. It could be a particular day care center, summer camp, home day care provider or YMCA that is KNOWN FOR (known worldwide) countless cases of rape or molestation, why would you leave your kids there?!! Why? And you would not be partially to blame for something happening to your kids when you KNOWINGLY left them alone in a place known for harming kids!? You are the parent who made the decision so you take some of the blame.

  • Laurie64

    While I find this totally disgusting and really hope that the new Pope will be looking and taking action against priests who do this, please remember that it is not all priests. And while I do think that after being convicted, he should not even be allowed to work in the Church and should be sent to a monastery or something where he isn’t allowed around any people, that it is the LAWYERS who said this. I don’t think anyone who attends that church or any Catholic church would believe this is ok. And I am going to try to send this article to the Pope. Don’t know if I will be successful, but hopefully I will find a way. I know that my diocese requires training for anyone working with kids and is really trying to keep kids safe. In the past, the Church has let some awful things happen, but we are really trying to keep it from happening. And the mother should definitely be getting the money she needs. Hopefully, I can bring this to the attention of the Pople.

    • Maritimer1

      Laurie, it isn’t JUST the fact that priests have done this (and I know it isn’t all; I have had multiple priests in my family who were all good men) it’s the fact that their superiors continue to make excuses and cover things up! Any Bishop or Cardinal who is found to have harboured a pedophile priest should likewise be defrocked, prosecuted and jailed and the CHURCH (since those in the priesthood are SUPPOSED to practice poverty and don’t “own” anything) should have to pay out through the nose to the victims.

    • missionaccomplished

      Mmmaybe check the article in the UK Guardian of Jan 17, Pope Benedict defrocked over 400 priests which flies in the face of those who claimed he didn’t do anything.

  • Maritimer1

    Ok, so I have to ask: WHY is this woman still attending the Catholic Church?? The Church has made it clear that they are a sanctuary for sexual deviants….so why would ANYONE choose to stay? As for the church reducing the funding it AGREED to pay her….since when is that THEIR decision?? I am glad she is suing them but here’s another question: WHY does the US legal system allow the church to handle these cases?? Child sexual exploitation is a CRIME. I don’t care WHO you are…if you do the crime you need to be arrested, tried and, if convicted, JAILED.

  • Michael Smith

    Many of these stories are one sides or made up so I am not going to assume anything here. If this story is completely as it is presented though then the mother needs to take her case tot he Bishop, US Cardinals, and even Pope Francis because the church is not doing what they are supposed to based on their founder, the Lord Jesus, if this story here is what it is described as.