Colorado Republican Falls for Satire Story, Freaks Out and Proposes Bill Banning Food Stamps for Weed Purchases

Vicki MarbleI’ll admit, I’ve never worked inside a political campaign or for any politician.  That being said, I do know that they often have a team of people working for them assigned to various roles, helping them to be “better informed” about specific political stances (or bills) they might publicly endorse.

So I don’t get how things like Rand Paul’s plagiarism scandal from a couple of months ago happen.  Not that I can’t believe someone would plagiarize — it happens — but that nobody in his office caught it and brought it to Paul’s attention.  I just don’t get it.

Well, what happened in Colorado recently might just take the cake.  I mean, it’s one thing to propose some ridiculous bill that stands no chance at passing (it happens all the time) but to propose a bill based on outrage over a satire article written by the National Report is incompetence on a whole other level.

And that’s exactly what happened.

In Colorado, Republican State Senator Vicki Marble proposed a bill aimed to “tackle this problem” of people buying marijuana with food stamps in the state.

Except, there have been absolutely zero incidents of people trying to buy marijuana with their food stamp benefits.  Only an idiot would think “pot brownies” would be covered as a SNAP purchase.

It’s completely absurd to think that somebody could walk into a pot shop and use their food stamps to purchase weed — but apparently that didn’t prompt Marble, or anyone at her office, to actually research if this was happening.

Like I said, complete and total incompetence.

Especially considering rules in Colorado have already set the regulation of marijuana in conjunction with those that regulate liquor — another substance that people aren’t allowed to buy with their electronic food stamp benefits card.

But apparently to try to save a little dignity over falling for a fake story, another Colorado Republican, Jared Wright, said Ms. Marble’s bill is, “a preventative measure designed to create better stewardship around where and how these benefit dollars are used.”

I actually laughed when I read that comment.  The bill itself is laughable enough, but to actually try to validate that bill (to save some dignity) by saying that it’s just a preventative measure “just in case” is even more of a joke.

There’s nobody in their right (or stoned) minds in the state of Colorado who would believe that they would be allowed to legally buy marijuana with their food stamp cards.

The bottom line is, this Colorado Republican state lawmaker — in a rush to play partisan politics — fell for a satirical story, and the end results are that she looks like a complete fool.

But it’s still something we can all sit back and laugh at, because it is truly (and pathetically) hilarious.

Image via AP

Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.


Facebook comments

  • Jim Bean

    Vicki’s an idiot. Like you need to be able to directly exchange the stamps for the weed. . Not so. You just buy food for someone else with your stamps and they give you the cash value of the food. Then you buy your essential weed with that cash. Happens millions of times a day. Duh!?

    • Kevin McNally

      So how does this bill prevent that, considering it’s classified the same as alcohol the bill is just a redundant piece of propaganda.

    • Sherri G

      Millions of times a day, huh? Are you being sarcastic or are you are witness to all of these transactions to claim such a ridiculous statement?

      • Diane Stanley

        You don’t understand satire?

      • ettore

        i don’t know about millions of people, but it would not surprise me that thousands of people who get food stamps do in fact work an exchange of their benefits for cash. i have witnessed this a number of times myself. if you think about it, it’s a perfectly logical, entrepreneurial move for someone who has little to no cash but wants/needs something only cash can buy. could be drugs, could be clothes.

      • taymie

        I’m here to say, back when I had benefits, there were times I really needed toilet paper and had no money, but did still have some food stamps. I also had another 10 days in the month to buy food for. So my food benefits were used on the food, and we found another way to get the toilet paper.

        no way in hell I would lose my only way to buy food though. It wasn’t enough to get through the month on it’s own, no way I would use it on something else. Not saying it doesn’t’ happen, but the vast majority of the people are like I was- just praying to make it one month closer to self sufficiency.

    • Pipercat

      That thar is called the Kentucky shuffle. You don’t buy food, you git sody pop and resell it so you can git yer fix from yer local pillbillie…

    • moe/larry & curly keys

      or in your case,,,,,,,,,,,,, liquor

      • Jen for the Win

        Liquor? I don’t even KNOW her!

    • stephen

      but you can then buy…heroin, or cocaine, or beer, or meth…also with that cash…so that refutes that argument.

      • Jim Bean

        No, that doesn’t refute it. I proves it.

    • klynnmo

      sure cuz people with SNAP cards regularly cruise the supermarkets looking for average people with cash to “buy” their groceries….or better yet there’s a black market in the ghetto for lettuce, hamburger meats and cereals…..i mean do folks like you actually think these things out at all??? Does this really make sense to you?

      • Jim Bean

        Google, ‘people exchanging food stamps for cash.;

      • satin8876

        That has got to be the dumbest thing someone can do. If a TV station can catch them, what do you think the feds can do? And during a sweeps month. Think they hyped that a lot?

    • astromiami

      And it is illegal already.

  • worrierking

    So Connie & Raymond Marble went and had themselves a daughter!

    • satin8876

      Congrats on the 1972 obscure film reference. For some reason the only thing I remember from that movie was Raymond licking the couch.

  • Green_Devil

    Can we get a similar measure proposed to ban the purchase of bullets with SNAP cards? Because we’ve all heard the expression “eating a bullet”. Think about the children, people! If we start letting them eat bullets (a gateway munition), soon they’ll be eating RPGs and that will lead to nuclear devices which Al Qaeda will steal and then we’re all gonna DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE. Or worse, be subjected to sharia law and Sarah Palin will be forced to wear a burqa.

    On second thought….

    • Stephen Barlow

      That’s “bite the bullet” when times are tough.

      • merp

        “bite the bullet” – confront a situation
        “eat a bullet” – suicide

      • Stephen Barlow

        Touche`, but food stamps and sustainance go more hand in hand than “eating your gun” ~wink~ and EBT cards.

      • Eg Kbbs

        So the poor are using food stamps to commit suicide ? (Hey, it makes as much sense as the rest of Senator Marble’s bill.)

  • Pat

    Just another example of an elected official being completely incompetent. Oh, and she is a Republican.

  • Dan Sulla

    She wanted this to be true to prove the point that poor people using snap are living high off the hog and now getting drugs on the government dime. Ya know 47% of the people are takers, you know the ones living in red states.

  • Diane Stanley

    It never ceases to amaze me how stupid repubs are.

  • make it go away

    We smoke pot, these idiots smoke crack!!!

  • willaimhamilton

    Our national newstream is so polluted with disposable junk now that we’re incapable of dealing with anything important. Our media, desperate to reverse declining audiences rewards every freak they can find. Sarah Palin rules the public imagination. Thoughtful people are unheard.

    • smarterboy13

      Add lies and distortions to the “disposable junk” and you’ve just articulated the real problem. If you’re as old as I am you remember when journalism was considered the fourth branch of government. It’s now just another obstacle that good government must overcome and that’s becoming increasingly impossible.
      Wish more people had your clarity!

  • hermanprovi

    If Coloradans believe Vicki Marble, they deserve her!
    Rightly named, Marble, seems to have most of them [marbles] where her brains should be!

    • taymie

      I sincerely doubt she has her marbles where her brain should be. She seems quite clearly to have lost them all.

  • thegregory

    Yeah, ah, No. I think you punk. And this is not satire. They we referring to those with the cash benefits. All one needs is an ATM machine. It has nothing to do with food benefits….

    • ettore

      yes, of course, if you get benefits in cash form you can do whateveryou you want with it, including paying rent as my housemate does with part of his. why does he get benefits you might ask? well, he was brain-injured at birth. nonetheless, as i related above, some people DO trade food stamps for cash. i’ve seen it more than once been asked to participate in it. of course if you get both cash benefits and foods stamps AND you are a crackhead, you will probably spend it all on “devil’s dandruff”.

  • thegregory

    I meant to say you got punked.

  • JC

    They drive to the store in their Cadillacs too! Convertibles, I bet. What we need, re Jared Wright, are “preventative” measures against stupid, thoughtless people in the legislature, “irregardless” of their supposed good intentions….yeah, right? Part of the “dog whistle” thing, yeah?

  • smarterboy13

    She can now go back to the important work of making guns available to violent criminals —

  • Stephen Barlow

    Can’t wait to see the DEM ads against her in the next election.

  • Stephen Barlow

    Although, I can almost see it happening. Except for one thing. Like in all Liquor stores in Colorado, you can’t sell food items alongside controlled substances at a pot shop. but you CAN hand out recipes!

  • The one thing I disagree with is the end note here. There is nothing really funny about all this. This is symptomatic in general of a deep deep level of genuine stupidity that is now a fact of life in our political world. We need to be perfectly serious about curbing this trend, now more than ever, with an eye toward improving activity in party politics at both the local, state and national level. We need better and more capable people in the forefront of policy making at every level…and we can’t afford to give laughable goobers like these even an inch of serious consideration. Only the accountability that comes from massive involvement at the party level will change this. I know its time we all would rather spend elsewhere, but idiots like these happen when our default setting for politics is to let others handle it and hope for the best.

    • Willllburrrr

      I think the point is, if you make a big deal outta the stupidity, it’s a good thing. Here’s an article on a site lambasting the ignorant chick. It’s one step toward flushing out the absurdity of electing a dipfek like this. And we need more articles making fun of these brain dead losers.

  • christian_707

    I’m sorry, but I don’t see what’s the writer’s point… I agree there’s a lot that doesn’t make sense with republicans, but passing a law to make sure that food stamps will never be used to buy marijuana and other drugs actually makes sense to me. There’s nothing funny about being preventive… and you would be surprised what some people in Colorado would try to do! And it’s true for people elsewhere. Trying to buy drugs with food stamps, when you think that countless people use their SNAP cards to buy soda and junk food (it’s so bad Michelle Obama had to try to do something to better educate SNAP users so they buy more fruits and vegetables instead), this isn’t too far stretched from reality. This article feels to me like it was written to ridicule republicans just for the sake of it, and in my book that makes you no better than FOX News and their democrat bashing.

    • mouse

      the thing is there are already laws that cover that and pot brownies are not on the list of what you can purchase with food stamps. this article highlights how desperate some people are to get attention for their future campaign. she wants to look good to her base so she uses what she believes is a ‘real issue’ that her base will rally behind only to end up looking the fool because she didn’t do her homework before talking let alone trying to pass legislation on a non existent problem. if people willingly vote for someone they know, by his/her/its own actions, is not doing actual research into a given issue before passing legislation on said issue then they are responsible for the damage that person will inevitably cause.

    • debengr

      So maybe they need to pass a law that you can’t rent a Mercedes car with food stamps? How many things can you think up that are already not allowed that you’d like a redundant law made for? Maybe a law that you can’t use food stamps to buy beluga caviar? Or…

  • Lee V.

    To be fair, I’d surprised if someone hasn’t tried it at least once. I work for a convenience chain,and VERY occasionally will have someone ask if I can ring either tobacco or beer as general food so they can use their benefits. (I decline, of course.) In 15 months, this has happened maybe 3 or 4 times. Not enough to have a whole law about it.

    • taymie

      and how many of those times do you think might be a sting trying to catch you doing just that? at least some of them are I’m willing to bet.

  • roooth

    Straight people can be pretty thick. you can tell which have never gotten high by the misconceptions they base their wacko opinions on. The stuff they say about pot, while they’re having a cigarette and a drink, can get pretty silly.

    At this point, it’s cultural. Stoner culture is a definite social subset, and it has been for decades.

  • Daniel Moore

    Jessie Pinkman already died from pot. Lets pass this bill and name it after him in his memory. It is the right thing to do.

  • Grant Cooper

    While it can be great “laughs” to see gullible and demonstrably incompetent legislators fall for satire articles, I believe the growing trend of fake news sites and spoof articles is regrettable and dangerous. Even though it’s great chuckles to witness your political foe getting hornswaggled, the damage can easily go both ways. While a first – rate outfit like MSNBC, with great staffing, will catch spoofs before running with them, and while FOX has, at times, taken the bait and aired stories erroneously based on false satire stories, the implications for the general public are ominous. I get it that the 1st Amendment is controlling here, that there is a long tradition of satire in American discourse, but in the age of rapid fire instant, online, smartphone “breaking news”… fake news sites can be dangerous. I have had to correct many, many liberal bloggers and Facebook posters who unknowingly ran with fake stories of some right wing scandal or atrocity, fully believing them to be real & spreading them through hundreds and thousands of others in their networks. Some fake news sites do a better job than others of stating they are satire, while others, through small print or outright obfuscation, apparently intend to deceive. You could say, “Everyone has a duty to carefully check sources, ” but we all know how far that will take us. I am a progressive, reasonably analytical consumer of online news, and I have been fooled on several occasions by fake news. If you cheer when your opponent is faked out, get ready to accept that the knife cuts both ways.

  • marecek21

    It would be crazy to use up your food stamp allotment buying pot – that would just leave you with the munchies and no food. If anyone did that, they would not do it more than once.

    BTW, how many Teabaggers are kept up at night worrying about how corporations spend their corporate welfare?

  • korhal

    This kind of incompetence will only help serve to remove her from office this November.

  • sherry06053

    I understand, and I agree, but our senator, who I actually like, almost got hit by a commuter train while giving a press conference on train safety yesterday…I saw the video. I didn’t forward it, but it was funny, in an embarrassing sort of way.

  • cravin moorehead

    There are two qualifications necessary to call yourself a republican. You MUST be either very, very rich, or, like the twit in this article, completely stupid.

    There are no other choices.

  • Alan Anderson

    Well! this is a Republican, can’t expect to much.

  • Eg Kbbs

    Aren’t they cute when they believe their own disinformation ?

  • Brian Novotny

    These suckers still think the Reagan fairy tale about welfare queens is true too.