Communist Party Expresses ‘Great Disappointment’ in President Obama (Satire)

President Obama Worst SocialistIn light of yesterday’s news that the Dow Jones Industrial Average passed a record 18,000 points on news of strong economic growth, the Communist Party has expressed their extreme displeasure with President Obama’s performance.

In fact, Communist Party members were quick to distance themselves from the president, stating that despite all Republican claims, President Obama is neither a communist, or even a socialist. Pointing out the fact that record corporate profits and huge CEO salaries are not Communist ideals, a local Communist Party organizer was puzzled as to why anybody would ever think that the president was anything more than a moderate conservative.

John, who refused to give his last name, also expressed his complete disgust at the way the economy has rebounded. “I voted for Barack Obama in 2008 and even in 2012 because over and over again, Republicans and Fox News said that he was a Communist and he was going to destroy the economy. As a member of the Communist Party, nothing would make me happier than to see working people rise up and mirror the Bolshevik Revolution here in the United States. Sadly, I have been greatly disappointed by his presidency, which has done nothing to advance Marxist principles in America.”

According to CNN, 2014 has had the best jobs growth since 1999 and the economy was potentially strong enough for the Federal Reserve to raise interest rates for the first time in almost a decade:

This is the third and final reading on GDP, and the 5% figure represents an upgrade from the Commerce Department’s initial estimate of 3.9% growth.

The stellar third quarter also marks an acceleration from the very strong growth of 4.6% during the second quarter and the rough first quarter when GDP was -2.1% due to the harsh winter weather.

All of that helps explain why hiring has increased dramatically this year. Employers added 321,000 jobs in November, making 2014 the strongest year for job growth since 1999.

The solid growth could clear the path for the Federal Reserve to increase interest rates in 2015. While there is some trepidation about the first interest rate hike in nearly a decade, it would signal that the U.S. economy in actually strong enough to take off the training wheels. (Source)

Needless to say, the silence from Republicans has been deafening on the economic news and President Obama’s approval rating has climbed to a 20 month high of 48%.

“This is absolutely devastating news,” said John, “We were hoping for a complete and utter economic collapse and instead of taking the United States to the economic ruin we need in order for Americans to embrace Marxist ideas, President Obama has proven to be a great disappointment for us. How could anyone ever believe that this guy was little more than a moderate Republican, despite all of assurances we had from Fox News that he was indeed a comrade?”

“Going forward, the Communist Party will not make the mistake of supporting a Democrat for president ever again,” said John, “It is quite obvious that in order to take America to the same level of misery that led to the glorious revolutions of 1917 and 1949, we will need to put our support behind Republicans in the future. Rand Paul 2016? Anybody?”


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