Congressman Steve Stockman Threatens To Arrest Anyone Who Publishes His Mugshot, So Here’s His Mugshot

stockman_mugshotIn 1977, Texas Republican congressman Steve Stockman spent a weekend in jail for traffic violations. While he was in the pokey, his jailers discovered the twenty-year-old future politician had Valium in his underpants, because where else would you keep it? Since Stockman was arrested, he has a mugshot, and he is very perturbed that said mugshot is winging around the internet, thanks to a PAC.

You see, Congressman Stockman is running against John Cornyn, because to Stockman, Cornyn isn’t conservative enough. Yes, really. In order to appeal to the lowest common conservative denominator, it would help if this whole Valium in the underwear thing never happened. It did happen, but a Stockman spokesman claims it didn’t.

According to Donny Ferguson, unnamed Michigan “officials” have told Stockman that this is all a big mistake. Ferguson wrote on Stockman’s campaign website:

Michigan’s 43rd Judicial District Clerk stated Stockman was never convicted of any charge and the documents were supposed to have been destroyed in 1978. Another Michigan official has advised Stockman he has grounds to file criminal complaints against any person or media organization that published the documents.

No one from the Stockman campaign has told any media outlet who these Michigan “officials” are, but I’m sure they’re real (wink wink).  The Texas Tribune published an article on Stockman’s arrest, with the mugshot, so obviously, those poor bastards are headed to a gulag somewhere…well, cold. What’s interesting is that Stockman himself spoke about his arrest during an interview in 1995.

Stockman told The Dallas Morning News that his girlfriend hid the Valium in his underwear, and when it was discovered, he was charged with a felony. How in the world his girlfriend could hide Valium in his underwear without him knowing it is beyond me, but let’s give him the benefit of the doubt, shall we? He also admitted to being in jail “a couple of times, two or three times.”

Okay. Steve Stockman admitted in 1995 that he was arrested and charged with a felony for having three Valium pills in his underwear. In 2014, he is threatening to arrest anyone who publishes his mugshot, and now vehemently denies any of this ever happened. What’s truly amazing is hiding tranquilizers in his Fruit of the Looms isn’t the weirdest thing Steve Stockman’s done.

Since finding Jesus (hopefully not in the same place he stored his Valium), Rep. Stockman has bravely gone where the entire Tea Party goes-Batshit Insane Land. Batshit Insane Land houses such notable luminaries as Sarah “I totes predicted Ukraine you betcha” Palin, Rep. Paul “Evolution is from the pit of Hell” Broun, my favorite psychotic congresscritter, Michele Bachmann, and almost everyone at Fox “News.” But not one of them dared to create a bumper sticker, advocating giving fetuses guns. Steve Stockman dared.

Steve Stockman also took his BFF, Ted Nugent, to the State of the Union. Ted Nugent. The same Ted Nugent who recently called President Obama “subhuman,” compared the president to a chimp, and during a concert, suggested that then-presidential candidate Obama should “suck” on Nugent’s machine gun, and told Hillary Clinton to ride one.

Rep. Stockman has threatened numerous times to begin articles of impeachment against President Obama because GUNZ, he has compared Obama to Saddam Hussein, defended a militia group, appeared on a Holocaust-denying radio program, favorably compared his constituents to the Branch-Davidians, and traveled to Denmark to protest climate change, wearing a blindfold. I wish I was making all that up, but I’m not.

Stockman has also been investigated by the FEC, run into a wee bit of trouble with the ADL, finished third in a “Boss from Hell” poll, and wrote to Janet Reno about “impending raids” on militia groups. Small problem: no such raids were in the works. Stockman has never revealed his sources for this misinformation, but militia group and NRA message boards were awash with rumors of these raids.

Links to militia groups. Give a fetus a gun. Ted Nugent’s DC pal. Threatening members of the media with arrest for posting his mugshot. Investigated by the FCC, lying about his brush(es) with the law, and at the very least, he was at one time, sympathetic to Holocaust deniers.

The reason Stockman is running against ultraconservative John Cornyn is the Tea Party is extremely displeased with Cornyn. Cornyn removed his signature from a letter written by Mike Lee (R-Utah), expressing strong support for defunding Obamacare in any debt limit or government funding bill. Cornyn hates the idea of poor people getting health care just like the rest of the Christians in the Tea Party; he just didn’t like the idea of a government shutdown. But that’s not Batshit Insane Land enough for the Tea Party, and Cornyn’s got to go.

Steve Stockman also admires Louie Gohmert, telling The Dallas Morning News:

The Louie Gohmerts—I want to be a team player with them.

I think I’ll just end there.

Erin Nanasi

Erin Nanasi is the creator of The Bachmann Diaries: Satirical Excerpts from Michele Bachmann's Fictional Diary. She hates writing about herself in the third person. Erin enjoys reading, writing, and spending time with family. And wombats. Come visit Erin on on Facebook. She also can be found on Twitter at @WriterENanasi.


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