Conservatives and the Stupid Things They Say

stupidthingsI know this has probably been done hundreds of times, but I felt like putting my spin on it anyway.  After a day in which I went through hundreds of comments from Republicans on my various articles and Facebook page, I felt motivated to write this article to vent a little bit about the ignorance I commonly run across.

And I’m pretty sure most who read this will have seen this same type of stupidity.

Here we go…

  • The government never does anything for me.”— Said by the person who drove on public roads from their job, which provides overtime pay and safe working conditions for its employees, to pick up their child/children from public school.  A trip that was made safe due to a system of well organized traffic signals.
  • “Keep the government out of my health care.”— Said by the person on Medicare.
  • “FEMA is unconstitutional.”— Said by the person prior to their town, and home, being destroyed by a natural disaster.
  • “I’m for a fiscally responsible government.”— Said by the person who voted for both Reagan and Bush twice.
  • “I’m for small government.”— Said by the person who supports a Constitutional Amendment defining marriage and laws which infringe on a woman’s right to choose.
  • “The Second Amendment keeps the government fearful of its citizens.”— Said by the person who supports spending hundreds of billions more on our defense, which is controlled by the government.
  • “I’m pro-life.”— Said by the person who brags about how often the death penalty is used in their state.

  • “I believe in a traditional Constitutional government.”— Said by the person who believes citizens need guns to overthrow government and talks of secession anytime the Constitution supports something they disagree with.
  • “I don’t trust the mainstream media.”— Said by the person who brags about Fox News being American’s top cable news channel.
  • “We need to make English the official language.”— Said by the person who can’t speak proper English.
  • “We need to get back to traditional American values and freedom.”— Said by the person who cites a time in American history when interracial marriage was illegal, segregation was practiced and women were often (and still are) denied equal rights under the law.
  • “The government doesn’t create jobs.”— Said by the person who slams the President for poor job creation.
  • “Muslims are all terrorists.”— Said by the person that thinks all Muslims are from the Middle East and doesn’t realize the largest population of Muslims actually lives in Southeast Asia.
  • “Liberals hate freedom.”— Said by the person attacking liberals for protecting equal rights for gays, women, minorities and religions other than Christianity.
  • “Social Security is Socialism.”— Said by the person whose grandparents live off Social Security.
  • “The recession was caused by Obama.”— Said by the person who believes January 20, 2009 somehow came before all of 2008.
  • “I support the military and our troops.”— Said by the person who voted for the President who started 2 wars, resulting in thousands of military deaths, thousands more suffering from permanent disabilities and supports the party which cuts VA funding.
  • “Tax cuts create jobs.”— Said the person who can’t explain why with higher taxes we had historic economic growth in the 90’s, and with lower taxes had a historic economic collapse.
  • “We must stop welfare abuse.”— Said the person who has no problem with rich individuals and giant corporations abusing our tax system to pay lower effective tax rates than most middle class Americans.
  • “I’m taxed enough already.”— Said by the person who pays no income tax and gets huge deductions because of their children.
  • “The United States has the highest corporation tax rate in the world.”— Said by the person that isn’t aware that tax rates and effective tax rates are completely different, which the effective tax rate most American corporations pay is one of the lowest in the world.
  • “Rape should be seen as a blessing from God”— Said by the person who carries a gun and pepper spray to avoid being raped.
  • “Homosexuality is a choice.”— Said by the person who can’t recall when they chose to be straight.
  • “Same-sex marriage ruins the sanctity of marriage.” — Said by the person who’s been divorced twice and cheated on both spouses.
  • “The minimum wage kills job creation.”— Said by the person who complains about too many people relying on welfare, many of which do so because they only make minimum wage.
  • “The government stifles our rights as Americans.”— Said by the person that’s upset because the government prevented them from denying someone else their rights as an American.
  • “Our nation was founded on the Christian religion as one nation under God.”— Said by the person who can’t find the word “Christianity” anywhere in our Constitution and doesn’t realize that the phrase “Under God” wasn’t added until the 1950’s.

I’ll stop there, but I could have easily kept going.  Honestly I didn’t realize I had this many until I scrolled back up my draft of this article.

In fact, I think this will be a Part 1 of a–hell, probably an endless series as it is in my experience doing this…

Conservatives never  run out of stupid things to say.


Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.


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