Conservatives and the Stupid Things They Say

stupidthingsI know this has probably been done hundreds of times, but I felt like putting my spin on it anyway.  After a day in which I went through hundreds of comments from Republicans on my various articles and Facebook page, I felt motivated to write this article to vent a little bit about the ignorance I commonly run across.

And I’m pretty sure most who read this will have seen this same type of stupidity.

Here we go…

  • The government never does anything for me.”— Said by the person who drove on public roads from their job, which provides overtime pay and safe working conditions for its employees, to pick up their child/children from public school.  A trip that was made safe due to a system of well organized traffic signals.
  • “Keep the government out of my health care.”— Said by the person on Medicare.
  • “FEMA is unconstitutional.”— Said by the person prior to their town, and home, being destroyed by a natural disaster.
  • “I’m for a fiscally responsible government.”— Said by the person who voted for both Reagan and Bush twice.
  • “I’m for small government.”— Said by the person who supports a Constitutional Amendment defining marriage and laws which infringe on a woman’s right to choose.
  • “The Second Amendment keeps the government fearful of its citizens.”— Said by the person who supports spending hundreds of billions more on our defense, which is controlled by the government.
  • “I’m pro-life.”— Said by the person who brags about how often the death penalty is used in their state.

  • “I believe in a traditional Constitutional government.”— Said by the person who believes citizens need guns to overthrow government and talks of secession anytime the Constitution supports something they disagree with.
  • “I don’t trust the mainstream media.”— Said by the person who brags about Fox News being American’s top cable news channel.
  • “We need to make English the official language.”— Said by the person who can’t speak proper English.
  • “We need to get back to traditional American values and freedom.”— Said by the person who cites a time in American history when interracial marriage was illegal, segregation was practiced and women were often (and still are) denied equal rights under the law.
  • “The government doesn’t create jobs.”— Said by the person who slams the President for poor job creation.
  • “Muslims are all terrorists.”— Said by the person that thinks all Muslims are from the Middle East and doesn’t realize the largest population of Muslims actually lives in Southeast Asia.
  • “Liberals hate freedom.”— Said by the person attacking liberals for protecting equal rights for gays, women, minorities and religions other than Christianity.
  • “Social Security is Socialism.”— Said by the person whose grandparents live off Social Security.
  • “The recession was caused by Obama.”— Said by the person who believes January 20, 2009 somehow came before all of 2008.
  • “I support the military and our troops.”— Said by the person who voted for the President who started 2 wars, resulting in thousands of military deaths, thousands more suffering from permanent disabilities and supports the party which cuts VA funding.
  • “Tax cuts create jobs.”— Said the person who can’t explain why with higher taxes we had historic economic growth in the 90’s, and with lower taxes had a historic economic collapse.
  • “We must stop welfare abuse.”— Said the person who has no problem with rich individuals and giant corporations abusing our tax system to pay lower effective tax rates than most middle class Americans.
  • “I’m taxed enough already.”— Said by the person who pays no income tax and gets huge deductions because of their children.
  • “The United States has the highest corporation tax rate in the world.”— Said by the person that isn’t aware that tax rates and effective tax rates are completely different, which the effective tax rate most American corporations pay is one of the lowest in the world.
  • “Rape should be seen as a blessing from God”— Said by the person who carries a gun and pepper spray to avoid being raped.
  • “Homosexuality is a choice.”— Said by the person who can’t recall when they chose to be straight.
  • “Same-sex marriage ruins the sanctity of marriage.” — Said by the person who’s been divorced twice and cheated on both spouses.
  • “The minimum wage kills job creation.”— Said by the person who complains about too many people relying on welfare, many of which do so because they only make minimum wage.
  • “The government stifles our rights as Americans.”— Said by the person that’s upset because the government prevented them from denying someone else their rights as an American.
  • “Our nation was founded on the Christian religion as one nation under God.”— Said by the person who can’t find the word “Christianity” anywhere in our Constitution and doesn’t realize that the phrase “Under God” wasn’t added until the 1950’s.

I’ll stop there, but I could have easily kept going.  Honestly I didn’t realize I had this many until I scrolled back up my draft of this article.

In fact, I think this will be a Part 1 of a–hell, probably an endless series as it is in my experience doing this…

Conservatives never  run out of stupid things to say.


Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.


Facebook comments

  • Many examples of how conservatives don’t stop and think things through before they open their mouths!

  • Annie

    Just in reading that you feel that social media represents the pulse of the nation is beyond the pale. Getting the news from FB or Twitter .confirms my belief that the ‘dunce’ cap you speak of should be worn by the author of this piece..

    As represented on so-called news outlets, I’m surprised that liberals aren’t running from Rachel Maddow and Chris Mattews twists, Dylan Ratigan has an okay side to him, but please not to judge a political party’s IQ by it’s social media presence!

    • TJ

      “Rachel Maddow and Chris Mattews twists”? You mean, “what /actually/ happened”? Judging by your gawd-awful grammar, incoherent sentences, and presumed support of Faux News, I’d say you have a much lower IQ than the general population. But please, do nothing to change. Maybe one of your quotes will someday end up in one of this ‘dunce’-author’s pieces.

    • Said by the person who is commenting in a social media forum.

    • ‘Fraid that isn’t so. A lot of this stuff is taken directly from Republicans’ mouths. “Tax cuts create jobs” is Paul Ryan’s mantra, Sarah Palin said “I don’t trust the mainstream media” many a time, and “Rape should be seen as a blessing from God” (paraphrased–the full quote makes it clear he was talking about a pregnancy resulting from rape) was spoken by Senate candidate Richard Mourdock during a debate. All of this was reported by cable news, network news, and major newspapers.

    • suburbancuurmudgeon

      We’re getting INFORMATION from FB and Twitter, not necessarily news. And it helps to know what people are thinking, especially when they are blatantly WRONG.

      • Danceintherain

        I am so glad to have found Right Off A Cliff, thank you Allen Clifton. It is refreshing to get information that comes from an intelligent, honest mind. Keep up the good work!

      • DebofAmber

        One of the benefits of a decent education and being taught critical thinking and logic is the ability to tell a fact from an opinion and a direct source from hearsay Many conservatives clearly have no idea how to tell fact from fiction.

    • Dennis M

      It was Republican Governor Bobby Jindal called called on Republicans to “stop being the stupid party”

  • Dennis M

    May I add those that say this country was founded on Christian values they overlook that we are a democratic republic which means we are founded on 3000 year old Greco roman pagan values.

    • John K.

      There is a difference between style of government and the values instilled in that government. I guess Conservatives aren’t the only ones who say stupid things.

      • suburbancuurmudgeon

        And what values might those be?
        Torture is OK?
        Abandoning the least among you is OK?
        Starting a war based on lies?
        The rich are the only important people and we should do our best to protect them?

        A rising tide lifts all boats
        People want a hand up, not a hand out.
        Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.
        We are all Americans, regardless of race, creed, color, etc.

        I think we know what values are inherent in conservative governments.

      • Everyone wants a hand up not a hand out??? I just fell out of my chair!!! That’s some funny stuff you got there! Keep em’ coming!!!

      • suburbancuurmudgeon

        I got a hand up. It got me through medical school.

      • Dennis M

        Christians never had the market cornered on spiritual values. One of the many attacks on our country from the Religious Right is the claim that our country is a Christian Nation…not just that the majority of people are Christians, but that the country itself was founded by Christians, for Christians. However, a little research into American history will show that this statement is a lie. Those people who spread this lie are known as Christian Revisionists. They are attempting to rewrite history, in much the same way as holocaust deniers are. The men responsible for building the foundation of the United States were men of The Enlightenment, not men of Christianity. They were Deists who did not believe the bible was true. They were Freethinkers who relied on their reason, not their faith.

      • DebofAmber

        These so called ‘Christians’ make no acknowledgement of the fact that different Christian sects have different spiritual values either.

        I for one am horrified by many of the so called ‘Christian’ tenets that Evangelicals firmly believe.

    • Good point. And here’s something else that can’t be emphasized too strongly. The Christianity of our Founders didn’t look nearly as much like the Christianity of today as most people might wish. The Common Law was understood well even by the less educated, and “christian values” meant very different things to them than they do to us.

  • Cowboy

    Just a thought, but sure would be nice to put some names to the quotes.

    • suburbancuurmudgeon

      Conservatives routinely spout nonsense as gospel and NEVER cite their sources. We on the left do it all the time, but it becomes tiresome. You have access to Google, use it.

    • DebofAmber

      google any of them. Go ahead.

  • patt,rm

    I’m not impressed by your quotes. No names and no facts.
    Just like all the libs do, lie and fabricate stories.

    • I gave you some. I didn’t even have to think that hard, because I remembered people saying those things.

      Google runs on both sides of the street, you know.

      • DebofAmber

        Agreed. I remember seeing clips of top conservatives saying those things, in the past couple years.

    • Dennis M

      Really fabricated stories? google any of those quotes and you will find them oft repeated by conservatives. A few could almost be titles of an Ann Coulter book.I would challenge you to prove one that was never said by a conservative.Put them all together and you’d have the Conservatives Manifesto.

      I will give you one example during last year election Romney constantly slammed Obama for high unemployment.Then during the 2nd debate Romney said “Government does not create jobs” 20 mins. latter he promised as president he would create 12 millions jobs and they be good payings ones to boot.This from a man who started a company that shipped thousands of good paying American jobs overseas to cheap labor markets.

      • See, Patt is another one saying stupid things.

    • Amazing–a conservative who doesn’t watch Fox News. All of these, and I do mean all, have been said by pundits on Fox at one time or another.

  • Michael Siever

    “More restrictive background checks on firearms are not going to stop criminals from obtaining them, so it makes no sense to punish us law-abiding citizens by making it harder for us to obtain them.” – Said by the person who said last year that we needed more restrictive voter ID laws that require all citizens to show a photo ID to cast a ballot in order to make sure there was no voter fraud at the polling places, even though none of the voter ID laws target absentee ballots, which have already been proven as the largest source of voter fraud…

  • This country was NOT founded on Christian values. And as for our founding fathers, they made it perfectly clear that they did not want religion mixed in with politics. There was suppose to be separation of church and state.

  • Author, are you completely retarded or just three quarters retarded?

    • suburbancuurmudgeon

      No, are you?

      • DebofAmber

        When they name call – you know they’ve got nothing.

  • Bob’s Kid

    “Making guns illegal will not stop gun violence” said by a person who said “Making Abortion illegal will stop abortion”

    • disqus_JwbRjoSwa7

      Well said

  • USMC21

    What a bunch of CRAP, said by a guy who served 21 years in the US Marines.

    • FMR 508th

      What a bunch of truth said a guy who served 20 years in the 82nd Airborne.

  • Obama is satan

    Lol. This whole site is hilarious

  • disqus_JwbRjoSwa7

    I would just love to see a conservative respond to this in real time, in real life, in person… Just to see what kind of defenses they can come up with.

  • Jeff Mathis

    We all have to remember that Republicans don’t have to rely on facts, reason or any kind of truth. All they need to do is to keep the propaganda flowing to the young, flat earth goober base which is easily manipulated.