Dear Conservatives: Thanks for Being Horrible

Plato said, “One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.” And so, conservatives, you deserve the nation’s gratitude for being so horrible. There is no possible way people of reason can sit by and let you continue to gain power. Thank you for shaking America out of its apathy.

Your constant screaming grates on our nerves, conservatives. But instead of winning us to your side it has set us against you. Every day, there’s yet another outraged right winger screaming on the television, on the Internet or on the radio. It no longer matters to us what you are screaming about, just that you are. That you are wrong is a given.

Oh, what’s that? You need examples, conservatives? You don’t see how you’re wrong? Very well.

You rage against the government, exclaiming how much you hate it while trying to gain that same power for yourselves. You claim to want smaller government while trying to get it involved in every American bedroom. You expect us to believe a woman cannot make reproductive decisions by herself, but want everyone to be subject to whims of the corporate world.

You have shown us, over and over again, that American lives are not worth as much as the dollar. We see you explain why the schoolchild should not get lunch, why the sick and disabled must not get care, and why the poor are lazy. We see you tank the economy, blame someone else, and then cut lifelines for those you ruined with the decisions you can’t take responsibility for.

Conservatives rail about wasteful government spending. But how many billions of dollars did you waste with your fruitless ACA repeals? How many more billions did you waste when you shut down the country when you didn’t get your way? The only thing the least productive Congress in history can do is throw loud, expensive, and pointless screaming tantrums.

And what heroes you pick, conservatives! An old, white, rich duck call maker, railing against LGBT Americans. An old, white, rich, draft dodging pedophile former rocker, threatening to kill your president after calling him “sub-human.” An old, rich, white rancher, thumbing his nose at the government over fees he owes, rallying whack jobs with high powered firearms to his side to hide behind women until he reveals his blatant racism.

You whine that you aren’t racists, but you laud them, and harbor hate groups in your midst. You cry that you’re sick of Bush being rightfully blamed for the mess the nation is in while you constantly scream it’s “Obama’s fault.” You moan about being vilified while spitting “Liberal” at your opponents like a swear word.

You love to dish it out, but wail when you get it right back. Sarah Palin promotes torture and trivializes slavery, but if somebody calls her on it, they must be fired. Conservative media bellows hyperbole and misinformation all day and night, and yet demands the head of whomever talks back. A female country band speaks out against Bush’s war, and they get blacklisted for years.

You oppose affordable health care. You oppose a living wage. You oppose helping the poor and the sick. You oppose stopping the companies who poison our water, our air, the very ground we walk on. You oppose logic, reason, and compromise. You oppose equal rights, civil rights, reproductive rights, while calling yourself ‘The Right.”

You support tax cuts for the rich. Subsidies for corporations. Spending for the military even when the Pentagon doesn’t want it. Legislation of your religious beliefs, the First Amendment be damned. Oh, but you’re all about the Constitution, huh? You pick and choose from that storied document like you cherry pick your Bible verse. You wax poetic about our military veterans with tears in your eyes, and then you cut their benefits.

We haven’t forgotten the awful mess you got us into in Iraq, for which you have never apologized. We watch you pound war drums for Iran, for Syria, for North Korea, for Russia, even against your own president. It’s been said that “War” stands for “We Are Right,” and as conservatives call themselves “The Right,” that’s a very fitting slogan for you. War on taxes. War on immigration. War on women. War on foreign powers. War on Washington. War war war.

There is a hot coal of rage in our gut. If an angry voting base is a motivated base, then you may have just bitten off more than you can chew. Sure, you’re angry too – but you’re always angry. All this means is you have ticked off the rest of us.

You know it too, don’t you, conservatives? That’s why you make it so hard to vote. That’s why you take away polling stations, issue ID restrictions, and gerrymander districts. You have to be afraid of the Electorate to do that. And with good reason. There are more of us than you. When we vote, we win. The volume of your opinions may be loud, but the volume of your numbers is not that impressive.

We get it. We see that you think there are no consequences. Cheney, Rice, W., they all skated. Christie is strutting around again, while Paul thinks we have forgotten he’s a word thief. Gohmert talks about arresting people and, for some reason, asparagus. Cruz buys dead tigers for his office while claiming he had nothing to do with the shutdown. You think because there’s been no accountability in the past that there won’t ever be. So you spew your bile.

Years ago, I was a bouncer. I saw plenty of fights. What you learn is that when one guy runs his mouth and the other does not, the loudmouth got his teeth knocked in every time. And nobody felt bad about it.

So keep screaming, conservatives. Keep being horrible. Keep giving us reason to not feel bad about knocking your teeth in at the voting booth. If you weren’t so insistent on showing us just how awful you would be in governing us, we might not care enough to stop you.

Thank you for making sure we want you gone. America appreciates your rancor.

Chad R. MacDonald

Chad R. MacDonald has a degree in English Literature from Cape Breton University and subsequently received a full scholarship to AMDA in New York. He is a former security professional, a veteran of the hospitality industry, and experienced in administration and the arts. He loves baseball, hockey, marine photography, science, New York City, and his family.
He lives in Hell's Kitchen with his wife and son and their gigantic cat.
Chad also writes for,, and contributes at You can follow him on Twitter @ChadMac19 and on Facebook as well!


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