Dear Conspiracy Nuts, Alex Jones Is Playing You For Fools

alex_jones_shoutingMonday morning, I half jokingly made a meme after news of the Navy Yard shooting broke, predicting that conspiracy nuts would start screaming “false flag.” And sure enough, I was right. Once again, Alex Jones slithered out from under his rock and summoned that legion of followers to proclaim that once again, the government had staged another horrific event in order to take away our rights, send us to FEMA camps, etc. It doesn’t matter what the event is, or what the topic may be, him and his followers will find some shadowy group to blame it on. It’s like Godwin’s Law except you just replace Hitler with George Soros, the Bilderberg Group, Zionists, etc.

I think people rely on conspiracy hypotheses (no, they’re not actually theories because theories are hypotheses that have been tested) because they create a more exciting and fearful world in which they can exchange their current reality for another. Remember when we were kids and we pretended to be cops or secret agents? Same thing here except these are grown adults, and they can’t separate the fantasy world from reality anymore. It’s a fanciful and yet simplistic way of explaining any event that happens without thinking. Let’s take Monday’s shooting, for example. A man with a rather complex history of mental illness and anger issues snaps and kills a dozen people inside of a military installation. Immediately, “it’s an attack staged by the government” comes out of Alex Jones’ piehole before the police have even secured the scene, and his mindless drones believe every word of it.

“Mindless drones” of Alex Jones, that’s the best way to describe it I suppose. Conspiracy paranoia goes beyond a mild mental illness or a problem with intellectual maturity, it’s really a cult when you think about it. Think of all the people who did anything Jim Jones, or Charles Manson or David Koresh said. I would bet every last cent in my bank account that if tomorrow Alex Jones said that the end of the world was upon us and his followers should sell everything they own and head to the bunkers, they would do it without thinking. You see, Alex Jones isn’t a raving lunatic — he’s a very clever individual who realized there is a financial gold mine in peddling crazy conspiracy stories laced with a strong tinge of anti-Semitism. While Alex was still popping pimples in high school, there was David Icke who makes him seem almost normal. Alex Jones basically followed in his footsteps and surpassed him as the new leader of the conspiracy fringe. He took the insane rants of David Icke and watered them down a little to be more palatable for a wider audience — which, of course, means more money in his pocket. You see, it all boils down to one thing: maximum audience which equals maximum revenue.

This isn’t to say the government hasn’t ever lied to us or that conspiracies haven’t happened before. We know for a fact that the government has lied or withheld information from us. Corporations and individuals conspire to do all sorts of shady things on a daily basis, and we have documented proof of both. However, what Alex Jones is selling is nothing more than a collection of old stories with the wording changed a bit and an extra couple tablespoons of xenophobia and anti-Semitism thrown in. If you’ve bought into his narrative, that’s the perfect definition of irony right there. You didn’t want to be “one of the sheep” and you found a Pied Piper with a tinfoil hat peddling an alternate reality to you. How does it feel to be played for a fool?

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