Dear Phil Robertson Supporters: I’ve Got a Few Words for Your “Christian Values”

1530464_793881913962692_1973785673_nDear Phil Robertson Supporters:

I’ve hit my patience limit with you people.  Most of you are completely unhinged.

First, let me point out a fun fact — Duck Dynasty is a pointless show.  It’s about absolutely nothing.  Yes, it can be funny at times, but the show has absolutely no real purpose aside from mindless entertainment.  It’s just a group of people sitting around saying dumb things.  Which is fine — it’s what millions now call “entertainment,” but let’s not act as if Duck Dynasty is vital for the survival of the American way of life.  A&E existed before Duck Dynasty and it will do just fine without it (if they cancel it).

Second, this has nothing to do with free speech — as I’ve clearly outlined.  Our First Amendment rights pertain to government persecution, not the private sector.  In the private sector (which Republicans claim to love) you’re held accountable for what you do and say.  Phil Robertson faces no form of criminal punishment for his ignorant remarks.  Free speech wins!  So get over it already.

Oh, and as for you “Christians” who are outraged that Mr. Robertson is being “punished for his religious beliefs” — last I checked, nobody was preventing Phil Robertson from believing whatever backwards way of thinking he wishes to subscribe to.  Religion is meant to stay private.  The sooner you people realize that, the better.

The vile hatred I’ve seen spewed by so-called “Christians” has been deplorable.  Nothing quite like people who claim to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ, choosing to send death threats to A&E and threatening people who dare to think that what Phil Robertson said was ignorant.

Hey, real quick, I want all of you “Christians” to please find me one time when Jesus Christ spoke out against homosexuality.  I’ll be waiting.

Oh, and don’t forget to read through Leviticus.  I’m pretty sure you, I and Mr. Robertson have repeatedly violated many things which are forbidden according to that part of the Bible.

But you know, why don’t you just keep on cherry-picking sections of the Bible you feel like following?  That’s the “Christian way,” right?

This had nothing to do with religion.  Myself, A&E and pretty much anyone with half a brain could probably have assumed Phil Robertson wasn’t exactly the liberal type.  Honestly, is there anyone who really thought he was a liberal?  Anyone?

Which is fine.  Again, this is a free country.  He has every right to feel how he does, think how he does and believe how he does.  Which is why he’s still a completely free man who can go on living without fear of criminal prosecution for his remarks.

Again, that is what the First Amendment protects.

But as a Christian, his words don’t represent my faith.  See, Jesus Christ taught us to love, help, forgive, accept and be kind to one another.  That’s what I follow — that’s Christianity.

See, there’s a difference between cherry-picking a few excerpts from the Bible, praying and going to church, and actually trying to live your life based on the teachings of Jesus Christ.

Praying, the Bible, church — these are all tools a lot of people use to make themselves feel better about being horrible people.  It’s easy to do these things.  It’s even easier when you do it out of fear of what might happen “in the afterlife” if you don’t.

As for me, even if I wasn’t a Christian, I’d still live my life based on the same set of values I do — because that’s just called trying to be a good person.

When I read Phil Robertson’s comments, I wasn’t mad — I felt sorry for him.  I couldn’t imagine feeling such disdain toward so many people based on who they love — something that has zero impact on my life.  I can’t even wrap my mind around what it must be like to obsess so much about man on man anal sex to the point that it would bother me.  To be honest, I never think about it.  But then again, I’m straight and don’t care what other people do in their own bedroom — so why would I think about it?

I can’t even understand how homosexuality and bestiality are linked, or how homosexuality could “morph out” into bestiality.  It’s sad to think that millions of people believe there’s no difference between having sex with another human being and having sex with an animal.  It makes me terrified to think about what their sex life might be like.  Another reason why I don’t worry about the sex lives of other people.

Then when he went and compared homosexuals to terrorists, I actually laughed.  Especially considering Islamic terrorists and Phil Robertson have basically the exact same views on homosexuality.

But back to the main point: the seething ignorance I’ve seen from you Duck Dynasty supporters has been ridiculous.

It started with the completely inaccurate accusation that this was an attack on free speech, which it clearly is not.  But if it is, please show me where Phil Robertson was arrested by any government entity.  Then you so-called “Christians” reacted with such anger, hate and disdain towards anyone who disagreed with you.  Just real good “wholesome Christian values” I tell ya.

Just get over it.  It’s a television show about some fake backwoods rednecks pretending to want to mate with ducks to draw their attention (ironic, isn’t it?).  If anything, your ridiculous reactions to his suspension will be the downfall of the show — at least on A&E.  It might get picked up on some other cable channel with a smaller reach, which is fine by me.  I really couldn’t care less either way.  As I said, it’s a show about basically nothing that caters to an audience looking for mindless entertainment.

Good job.  Had you people just left it alone, odds are the story would have faded, Phil Robertson would have issued an apology and done a few PR stunts, and the show would have gone on as normal.

But no, you “good Christians” had to prove how intolerant and hateful you are by flipping out like insane maniacs over the fact a reality television star got suspended.  

And that’s the truth of this whole thing.  This isn’t about religion.  This is about a stupid TV show.

So, please, stop with this ridiculous accusation that this is somehow an attack on Mr. Robertson’s First Amendment rights, because it isn’t.

While Phil Robertson’s comments were extremely small-minded and quite frankly dumb, honestly, they pale in comparison to the utter stupidity I’ve seen these last couple of days from his supporters.

If ignorance is indeed bliss, you people must be dancing like Fred Astaire.


Allen Clifton


Twitter: Allen_Clifton 

Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.


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