Dear Republicans: I Would Like to Personally Thank You All for Being So Awful

goplogoDear Republicans,

Sometimes in life we get so used to something that we tend to take things for granted. I’ve seen this firsthand with President Obama. While he’s not perfect, I feel many progressives have gotten a bit spoiled with this president being in office, clearly forgetting just how bad things were before he moved into 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.


Even now, as we head into the 2016 presidential election, I’ve felt as if some of us have forgotten just how good we have it. We’re currently in the midst of choosing between Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders. Heck, there’s even a slight possibility that Joe Biden enters the race – another solid candidate. Even Martin O’Malley, a candidate running a distant fourth right now, is clearly someone who handles himself well and seems to grasp the issues.

After watching the first two GOP debates, it was obvious to most of us what an absolute sideshow the GOP had become. But following the first Democratic debate, when five candidates stood on stage and spoke about important issues like real adults, I think many on the left finally realize how lucky we really are.

And don’t get me wrong, it’s not just your party’s debates that are ridiculous. The everyday rhetoric coming from your candidates is often so ridiculous, I have to check to make sure I’m reading an actual quote and not some article from The Onion.

To this day I can’t really believe that Donald Trump is still your party’s frontrunner. How does it feel to know that history is going to look back upon this election in amazement (and embarrassment) that “The Donald” managed to become a dominant force within the GOP?

Then your second choice is Ben Carson. Really? He’s a doctor with no business or political experience who doesn’t even seem to believe in science or medicine. Was it really too difficult for you to find a doctor who actually believes in medical science?

Heck, the guy who your party desperately wants as their candidate, Jeb Bush, barely even cracks the top five in the polls nowadays. It’s pretty sad when the guy the RNC is throwing everything behind is trailing Carly “I Made Up Stories About Planned Parenthood to Get Attention” Fiorina.

Honestly, all these years to prepare and these are the best candidates the GOP could come up with?

Then we can’t leave out the current chaos that’s going on in the House right now as your party can’t even seem to find anyone who can get the 218 votes needed to replace Speaker Boehner. Of course, there is one person who could get those votes – but he doesn’t want anything to do with the position.


Why, you ask? Because he doesn’t want to have to deal with Republicans.

Yes, a current congressman with presidential ambitions doesn’t want to become the third most powerful person in this country because he knows having to deal with the idiocy of the Republican party would ruin any future political goals.

Just let that sink in for a moment. 

As I sat and watched the Democratic candidates on that debate stage, I gained a new appreciation for my party. After suffering through hours of childish nonsense during the first two GOP debates, it was refreshing to watch one where the candidates acted like, you know, adults. To think, a presidential debate that actually consisted of candidates avoiding personal attacks and debating the issues really is possible.

Honestly, do you all think your fellow Republicans could ever conduct a debate that civil and on-point? I guess we’ll soon find out if your candidates can follow the example that was just set by the five adults on stage Tuesday night.

But I guess when it gets right down to it, what I’m really trying to say here is – thank you for being so awful.

If it wasn’t for the apparent eagerness of so many Republicans to prove how idiotic many members of your own party can be (though I’m still holding out hope that moderate Republicans will reclaim the party), I’m not sure I’d have the same appreciation for my party that I have right now.

So, again, thank you all and bless your hearts,

Allen Clifton



Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.

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  • Kelly

    Go Trump Go Carson!!!!!

    • Diana

      Why, Kelly, why? The Donald is doing less ranting and insulting others, but what has he contributed in a positive way? He’s just against pretty much everything. What has he said that earns him your allegiance? And Carson plays at being religious–all hat and no cattle, as they say in some parts of the country. Wants to establish a state religion–unAmerican!