First let us apologize for the fact that publicly the Republican party must condemn your actions. We cannot openly and brazenly seem to admire your leadership – though we think our feelings are quite clear.
How could we, the Republican party, not admire someone who shares so many of our values?
A man who shows absolutely no respect to President Obama. That is a man after our own hearts. And while we might pretend to be appalled by your invasion of Crimea, who the heck are we kidding? We love a man who takes it upon himself to invade another country based on lies.
We did, after all, elect George W. Bush. And just as many people have accused you of rigging the election which made you President of Russia, Bush was also first “elected” by rather unethical means. You two do really have a lot in common.
And we believe it’s perfectly acceptable that you want strict control over what your media says and does. We too want the same thing. We have the network in Fox News to do that very thing and we’ve successfully convinced tens of millions of people it is the only beacon of truth. Though it’s nothing more than a vessel we use to peddle our propaganda.
Then the way you wonder around the wilderness, shirtless, hunting wild game to prove you’re a man. Bush, too, made sure he was photographed and filmed doing “manly” things such as chopping wood and clearing brush. Nothing says “manly” like a good old fashion photo-op pretending to do “manly” things.
Oh, and the way you hate gays is heroic. If only we had someone here, in the United States, who would stand up against these gay rights bullies constantly trying to infringe on our religious freedoms.
Your strength, leadership, hatred of gays, love of using military force, manly wilderness exploits and disdain for President Obama show that you are truly a man among boys. Someone who every Republican can look up to and admire.
So, with much love and admiration we Republicans just wanted to thank you for being you – a true conservative icon. It’s just unfortunate that you’re the Russian President instead of our own.
The Republican party and conservatives everywhere
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