Edward Snowden Considers Turning Himself In After Hearing that Sarah Palin Defended Him

palin-snowdenIt appears Sarah Palin can still make a difference after all.

Sources claiming to have had minimal, erratic contact with Edward Snowden have said that he’s considering turning himself in after Sarah Palin came to his defense, taking his side on many of the same issues.

They’re reporting that not only is he contemplating turning himself in, but he’s also having a change of heart about leaking classified information concerning the NSA’s secret surveillance programs.

Apparently, he thinks that Sarah Palin taking his side on these issues clearly means that he must have been out of his mind to have leaked any of this information to begin with.

A source close to Snowden said his reaction to hearing that Ms. Palin had come to his defense went as follows:

“Sarah Palin said what?!  She came to my defense?  What the hell have I done?  I might have made a terrible mistake.  This can’t be happening to me.”

Though it remains unclear whether or not Snowden will return to the United States out of fear that Palin might continue to come to his defense, a leading intelligence expert chimed in, saying, “When a woman with no intelligence whatsoever comes to your defense on issues such as national security, privacy and secret intelligence, it’s bound to make an individual such as Edward Snowden potentially regret his decision and turn himself in—before she does it again and risks tarnishing his reputation for good.”

One thing is for sure — Mr. Snowden has a choice to make.

Does he continue to stay on the run, evading United States authorities, and risk having Sarah Palin come to his defense once again?  Or does he turn himself in, return to the United States and risk possible life in prison or even death?

Sarah Palin’s continued support — or — possibly face life in prison/death….

It’s truly a question that I can’t answer.

Because—this story is 100% satire.  I highly doubt Edward Snowden regrets his decision or would turn himself in just to avoid another Sarah Palin endorsement.  This article simply meant to poke fun at Sarah Palin (often an easy task), and in no way represents any feelings I have about Mr. Snowden or his actions.  That article is coming soon.

Though I do know that if Sarah Palin came to my defense on something involving intelligence—I might have to strongly reconsider my position.  But that’s just me. 

Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.

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