Fiscally Responsible Republicans? Pffffffft.

mcconnell1If the Sasquatch, Santa Claus, The Tooth Fairy, and a Fiscally Responsible Congressional Republican all walked into a bar, who would order the first drink?

Trick question. None of those people exist.

The myth of the Fiscally Responsible Republican has been debunked so many times now it’s not worth much more than a laugh when the austerity-pushing morons get up to their old tricks. All one has to do is cast their gaze back to the Bush II administration to see just how fiscally responsible Republicans truly are. A decade of wars on two credit cards, combined with a staggering lack of understanding what would happen if we didn’t raise taxes to help pay for those wars is pretty much all the proof you need. But if you were looking for the real proof of just how bone-headed and stupid these jackasses are, you can look no further than the bullshit games they play with our country’s debt ceiling.

For some reason, the Republicans in Congress still haven’t latched onto the notion that the Debt Ceiling has absolutely, positively, nothing to do with new or future spending. We all get it, Republicans. You guys hate spending and you want to do everything you can to stop all future spending no matter how helpful it is to the world or its economy. The problem is that when you try to hold the debt ceiling hostage, the only thing you’re doing is showing everybody that half of America’s politicians are totally cool with the world thinking we’re deadbeat dads. What the debt ceiling does is simply allow the government to keep paying debts it has already incurred. 

The other sticky wicket the Republicans constantly find themselves in is the fact that the Constitution itself says our country’s national debt is to always be considered valid, and to always be paid. For a group of people who claim to hold the patent on Constitutional scholarship, they sure don’t know about the finer details like, you know, not defaulting on our damn debts. In fact, the very definition of not paying your debts is to be fiscally irresponsible. Yet that’s been the one tool they’ve tried to wield the most when negotiating with the Obama White House and Senate Democrats over the budget. How anyone who considers themselves a party that first and foremost doesn’t dick around with money, can then turn around and threaten to stop paying our debts, is beyond my reason to understand.

To add insult to injury, they haven’t learned the lesson yet. They haven’t grasped the concept that when we tell the world that we’re willing to stop paying our debts over stupid political theatrics, it tells the world we don’t give a fuck about their economies either — considering that the world economy literally hinges on the United States continuing to pay its bills. Our debt buoys the entire world’s economy. Republicans aren’t just trying to starve our government, they want to do it to every single economy that depends on us not being lazy bastards and actually paying our debts.

So like toddlers with sledgehammers, Congressional Republicans are trying once again to hold the debt ceiling hostage. This time, they think if they can play some games and allow certain debts to get paid no matter what — Social Security recipients and bondholders would still get paid — that they can then just tell the President and the world, “We’re not going to pay our debts anymore, but at least these people will still get their checks.” Maybe this is a good solution for the elderly and those who hold bonds, but the overall impact on the world economy would be the exact same. The world’s financial leaders won’t give a good goddamn that we’re at least not breaking our solemn promise to those who have already worked and put into our economy for decades. They’ll just see that once again, the GOP is willing to tank everyone’s economy over an outdated and frankly sociopathic economic ideology that basically says, “Every man for himself and fuck everyone else.”

There is no doubt that we have a long-term debt problem that needs to be taken care of. There is also no doubt that it is indeed a long-term problem and that sound financial policies now will make dealing with that problem much easier, and capable of being resolved much sooner to boot. As we’re seeing right now from European countries who bought into the austerity trap that Republicans here are making the case for — you cannot cut your way back to economic health. Regardless of that, it’ll never not be a bad idea to stop paying our debts. Ever. That’s sort of the whole underlying point at the end of all this. It doesn’t matter what cute games you play with it, the debt ceiling is in place for a reason. You’re not allowed to call yourself responsible while acting completely irresponsible; a simple notion.

Hence Congressional Republicans not getting it.


James Schlarmann

James is in his thirties and gets really passionately angry about politics. Sometimes that anger foments into diatribes, and sometimes those diatribes are comical. Other times, they are not. James is the founding contributor and editor-in-chief of The Political Garbage Chute, a left-leaning satire and commentary site, which can be found on Facebook as well.


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