Fox News Contributor Claims Jesus Would Approve Of “American Sniper” (Video)

Fox News Radio host Todd Starnes

Fox News Radio host Todd Starnes

Todd Starnes, a frequent guest and contributor on Fox, fired back at Michael Moore’s most recent “American Sniper” Tweets on Monday. Moore has gotten himself in trouble with red-blooded conservative Christians in the past, but his comments on the film, and snipers in general, have riled up patriotic pundits and keyboard commandos alike. Starnes, like most on-air “talent” over on Fox, loves nothing better than putting an elitist liberal like Michael Moore in his place. This time, Starnes seems to have opened up a door into the mind of the typical right-wing Christian, especially in relation to Actual Jesus versus Ammosexual Jesus.

Moore sent out a series of Tweets about “American Sniper” over the weekend, including these three:

Tomorrow’s Sunday School (1) What Would Jesus Do? Oh, I know what he’d do–hide on top of a roof and shoot people in the back!

Sunday School (2) But What Would Jesus Do if he could be a sniper & save soldiers lives by shooting “savages” in the back?

Answer: Jesus wouldn’t put any soldiers in harm’s way in the first place because he wouldn’t have sent them 2 Iraq.

This was too much for Todd Starnes. How dare Michael Moore, a man who never served a day in the military, write something like that? Granted, Starnes has never served a day in the military either, but he loves America, and obviously Michael Moore doesn’t, so cue self-righteous indignation.

Todd responded to Moore’s comments on his Fox program “American Dispatch.” To his credit, he stated twice that he was no “theologian,” then went on to tell his viewers what he thought Jesus would really do. Starnes believes in White Jesus, or more specifically, Ammosexual Jesus. A heavily armed Caucasian man, wearing jeans from Glenn Beck’s website, and a tank-top emblazoned with the American flag, with blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. A man who only exists in the fevered imaginations of heavily-armed conservative Christians.

To prove he worships Ammosexual Jesus, Todd Starnes said this in response to Moore’s Tweets:

Well, I’m no theologian, but I suspect Jesus would tell that God-fearing, red-blooded American sniper “Well done, thou good and faithful servant for dispatching another godless Jihadist to the lake of fire.” But then again, I’m no theologian. 

Godless jihadist? Todd, you must understand, somewhere under your patronizing attitude towards all liberals, that the entire motivation for Islamic extremists is their twisted faith, right? Calling Islamic extremists godless is like calling Christians who bomb abortion clinics godless. Or calling Scott Roeder godless.

What about the hundreds of thousands of dead Iraqi civilians, Todd? Were they all “godless Jihadists?” Would Actual Jesus commend their deaths, cheer their suffering? Would he call them “savages,” as so many on the right do? How about sand n*ggers, which is a commonly-used anti-Arab epithet? Towel-heads? Camel jockeys? Would Actual Jesus side with Steven Green and his Army buddies, or would Actual Jesus side with the child who was raped and killed? Would Ammosexual Jesus cheer the slaughter of an entire family, because they were godless Jihadists?

This is what Actual Jesus taught:

Do not take revenge on someone who wrongs you. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.Matthew 5:39

Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you.Matthew 5:44

Blessed are the peacemakers. Matthew 5:9

Then the men stepped forward, seized Jesus and arrested him. With that, one of Jesus’ companions reached for his sword, drew it out and struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his ear. ‘Put your sword back in its place,’ Jesus said to him, ‘for all who live by the sword will die by the sword.’ Enough of this, stop it! Luke 22:49-51

Blessed are the peacemakers. Not the war makers, not the occupiers, not the invaders. The peacemakers. Love your enemies. This is from the Bible, these are the words of Actual Jesus. But you don’t worship Actual Jesus. Very few conservative Christians-at least the ones who get themselves on the radio or cable news-seem to follow his message. Ammosexual Jesus would absolutely applaud the killing of people, he wouldn’t tell his followers to live in peace, or turn the other cheek. He’d say “Shoot those towel-heads! Kill those godless, savage Jihadists!”

Todd Starnes has a history of saying truly horrible things. He said this about an episode of “Glee:”

The Mainstream Media is lavishing adoration on GLEE for their episode last night featuring underage gay sex, underage straight sex, and an endorsement for unprotected underage sex. For the sake of diversity, I wonder why GLEE doesn’t feature a Transgender Lactose Intolerant, Muslim Midget? 

You can read more of Todd Starnes’ hate speech here.

Bottom line is most conservatives still believe there were WMDs in Iraq. They believe we engaged in a holy war, they believe Bobby Jindal’s lie about “no-go zones,” and they believe that all Muslims are evil, horrible people, who deserve, at the very least, scorn, and at the very worst, death. They believe in a Christ who would champion war and death.

Rarely do I agree with Michael Moore, but on this, he’s right. Actual Jesus wouldn’t have put soldiers in harm’s way in the first place by lying to the American people about Iraq. Chris Kyle would still be alive, thousands of our service members would still be alive, and hundreds of thousands of Iraqi civilians would still be alive. Now that sounds a little more like the answer to WWJD.

Watch the Fox News video below:

Erin Nanasi

Erin Nanasi is the creator of The Bachmann Diaries: Satirical Excerpts from Michele Bachmann's Fictional Diary. She hates writing about herself in the third person. Erin enjoys reading, writing, and spending time with family. And wombats. Come visit Erin on on Facebook. She also can be found on Twitter at @WriterENanasi.


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