With Donald Trump continuing to pile up victories in the Republican presidential primary, it’s becoming abundantly clear that he’s either going to become the nominee, or they’re going to “steal” it from him by forcing the contest to the convention where party leaders would pick nearly anyone but him. If that happens it’s going to be a nightmare for the party, so it’s still a bit far-fetched for me to believe that they’re going to do that. I get that they don’t want Trump being their party’s nominee, but I don’t see how volunteering to basically hit the “self-destruct” button on your own party is a rational alternative choice.
So, assuming for now that Trump is headed toward becoming the Republican presidential nominee, I thought I’d lend “The Donald” a hand by suggesting five vice presidential candidates he might want to look into.
1. Michele Bachmann: Come on. Couldn’t you just imagine these two on the campaign trail together? If there’s one thing the blithering idiot could use to attract the far right, it’s someone who’s just as big of an idiot, mixed with a whole load of right-wing religious crazy “end of times” nonsense. Bachmann clearly isn’t doing anything right now (aside from gathering email addresses for her pointless PAC) and Trump could use some genuine religious fanaticism in his campaign.
2. Ann Coulter: This one is just a natural fit. Coulter is a one-woman hate group much in the same way Trump has been a one-man hate group. It would be the 21st century’s version of Hitler and Mussolini. Their tagline could be “Trump/Coulter 2016: If you’re brown – get the F out.”
3. Herman Cain: I’m sure the Trump/Cain Nein-Nein-Nein tax plan would be fabulous. Also, Cain had some kind words for Trump last week. “The party is expanding,” he said. “They ought to be celebrating what Donald Trump is doing for the Republican Party at this particular point, but instead they’re pushing back.”
What is Herman Cain doing right now aside from posting spammy Conservative Tribune articles on Facebook? The answer: Nothing.
4. Rush Limbaugh: Let’s face it, if Limbaugh ran for president, his campaign would look very much like Trump’s. They are two peas in a pod. If there’s someone, somewhere that Trump didn’t offend – good ol’ Rush would make damn sure he took care of that.
5. Donald Trump, Jr.: Whoever Trump would pick as VP would be nothing more than a lackey. He definitely would not want someone who’s strong, opinionated or would even remotely overshadow him. Which makes his son the perfect candidate. Not only that, but “The Donald” definitely seems like the type of egomaniac who would love to see his last name twice on a ballot: Trump/Trump 2016.
While I’m clearly having a little fun here, it wouldn’t shock me at all if Trump selected someone completely ridiculous to be his vice presidential candidate. Sure, he might go more conventional for the sake of trying to balance out his vile personality, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see him pick someone who no one had ever dreamed would be on a presidential ticket.
After all, this is Donald Trump we’re talking about.