Happy Hobby Lobby Day!

hobby-lobbyOh, Hobby Lobby. You import cheap crap from China (a country with a one child only law) and sell it to unsuspecting Martha Stewart-wannabees, but your right wing panties are all in a bunch over women’s contraception. Your owner is a Baptist, for God’s sake. A Baptist. Does the Baptist religion have a mandate against all contraception? Let’s look… NOPE. That would be the Catholics, and I don’t have to Google that, since I was raised Catholic, and know families who had a gazillion kids because they were forbidden from using anything other than the rhythm method to keep Mom from being preggers once a year.

Oh Hobby Lobby, your solicitor is in front of the Supreme Freaking Court, arguing religious freedom, when your owners’ religion doesn’t have any laws against birth control. Your solicitor is stroking the anti-choice ego of Justice Kennedy who, for all his pro-equality language, hates abortion – and you know that, don’t you? Which is why you’ve decided to narrow the scope of your silliness. Except it’s not silliness, and if you win, women are screwed. Hey, I have a kooky idea. How’s about we take a stroll down Reality Road, and learn us some facts?

According to your brief, you have problems with four specific types of ladies’ “I don’t want to get pregnant right now” options: Plan B, ella, and two types of intrauterine devices. You think those cause abortions. You are so wrong, and I can prove it.

Plan B is emergency contraception. For emergencies. Like when a woman is raped, and her predator doesn’t wear a condom. Said woman, while getting her rape kit at the hospital… oh, about rape kits. They don’t cause abortions either, and Rep. Laubenberg is an idiot for saying they do. Where was I? Right, Plan B. Plan B is a high dose of the same contraception used in the Pill. It doesn’t cause an abortion, any more than the Pill causes an abortion. Hobby Lobby, you’re wrong about Plan B.

On to ella (that’s how they spell it). ella is also emergency contraception, but it has a larger window of time during which you can take it – five days. It is also not an abortion pill. According to Bedsider.org, ella costs about $55 at your pharmacy, or you can order it online and pay extra for expedited shipping. But it is not an abortion pill and I am SO tired of typing/saying/screaming that.

You know what is an abortion pill? Mifeprex (mifepristone), known as RU-486 in Europe. You can’t get Mifeprex at Walgreens – oh no, it’s administered in your doctor’s office. From the FDA website:

Is mifepristone distribution restricted?

Yes, mifepristone is supplied directly to doctors who meet certain qualifications. It is not available in pharmacies, and it is not legally available over the Internet.

So, Hobby Lobby, why are you clutching your fake, plastic, Made in China pearls? Plan B and ella are contraception, available at your local pharmacy. They do not cause abortions. Mifeprex is given in a doctor’s office, and distribution is restricted. These are (say it with me now) different medications. Then I discovered why you are all wound up over contraception. You believe these drugs, and IUDs, “risk killing an embryo,” and providing a health plan that covers any of them makes you “complicit in abortion.” Multiple health provider groups, including the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists have joined in filing a brief, that in part explains:

…there is a scientific distinction between a contraceptive and an abortifacient and the scientific record demonstrates that none of the FDA-approved contraceptives covered by the Mandate are abortifacients.

Oh Hobby Lobby, you’re lying through your Baptist teeth about all of this, aren’t you? You know it, we know it, three of the justices on the Supreme Court know it, and hopefully, Justice Kennedy will, too. What’s this all about then, if none of the things you claim cause abortions actually cause abortions? It couldn’t possibly be about a patriarchal, Dominionist asshat, trying to exert control over his female employees, now could it? I mean, are you arguing that you should not have to provide health insurance that covers vasectomies? I can’t find that in any of the articles or briefs I’ve read while researching this, so I’ll just wait for you, dear, confused, hypocritical, lying Hobby Lobby to get back to me on that.

Do I seem a bit peeved? Well, shit, I’m sorry, but ARE YOU KIDDING ME? This clustereff of epic proportions made it all the way to the Supreme Court, they’ve got Kennedy’s interest peaked because he hates abortion, and if Hobby Lobby wins this, we will see more and more businesses claim “personal beliefs” as their right to make other people’s lives hell. Got a boss who’s a Jehovah Witness? Hope you never need a blood transfusion. Work for a Christian Scientist? No doctors at all. What about an anti-vaxxer? Getting your kids inoculated against measles just got a lot more expensive. Employed by a staunch vegan? Maybe you can get fired for eating meat at lunch.

This is about control, plain and simple. Hobby Lobby wants to exert control over female employees, because if it was about the babies, they would ban condoms, not cover vasectomies, and insist everyone who works for them be celibate until marriage. Hobby Lobby is wrong about their religious rights, wrong about whatever backwards science they’ve glommed onto, and if they win, you can rest assured that this guy will be nominated for Surgeon General in Godlandia.

Erin Nanasi

Erin Nanasi is the creator of The Bachmann Diaries: Satirical Excerpts from Michele Bachmann's Fictional Diary. She hates writing about herself in the third person. Erin enjoys reading, writing, and spending time with family. And wombats. Come visit Erin on on Facebook. She also can be found on Twitter at @WriterENanasi.


Facebook comments

  • bln143

    what slobby hobby needs is for all women to boycott their stores and seeing how women are their primary bread and butter, this would hurt them far more than their fake religious beliefs! i am one such woman who will never put a foot or a dollar into this store!!!

    • Emora

      There ya go!

      • Brenda Baker Barry

        Unfortunately, there are a large sector of women in support of Hobby Lobby. I’ve actually read support posts on Facebook. (I live in the South). This has nothing to do with women’s reproductive rights. That is just the flashy thing they are dangling in front of us.
        Im boycotting.

      • Raina Sikes

        Your darn right, there are more in support of Hobby Lobby than you might think. I PRAY they win.

      • Brenda Baker Barry

        I take “birth control pills” because the hormones help me with perimenopause. You are PRAYING to your God that if I work for certain employers, I cant get coverage that I pay for because they think the possibility of me getting pregnant is their business.
        I PRAY that your God is not as shallow and misdirected as you.
        Next were gonna outlaw any medical intervention for women so that it may NEVER cause harm to any of our eggs?
        There are more important things for us to worry about, no?

      • FD Brian

        I would like to see the numbers on your statement.

    • angelgal3776

      i stopped going to hobby lobby when they stopped selling yarn. why? their extensive yarn selection was second to none, and i’m a knitter/crocheter. besides, there are no Hobby Lobbys in my area, the only time i come across one is when i go out west.

      • NO NAME JOE

        Marion In. has a HOBBY LOBBY, in the new strip mall !!

    • gmartini

      As a woman and a person that has issues with zealots shoving their ridiculous beliefs on others, I wouldn’t buy anything from these people—-period!

    • Alierias

      Very sadly, there are LOTS of women who have bought the “you are less than a man” poison that religion is selling …

      • Ann_W


    • they won’t and haven’t gotten another dime from me since they took this stance!

    • ladymctech

      It’s my intention to never buy from them…never have and now never will.

  • Julie Johnson Smith

    Excellent article! Thank you for sharing the truth behind the lies…now can you find a way to get this to Kennedy and Roberts?

  • Sandy Greer

    Here’s what I don’t get about The Right:

    They oppose abortion. And birth control. Worse, they oppose help after the baby is born:

    Always bemoaning Welfare cheats on Food Stamps, having more babies for more money; think minorities and single mothers a ‘drain’ on society. They see a hand up as a hand out, with every hand reaching into their pocket like it was their last dollar they’ve got a death grip on.

    ^^^Given all that, you’d think The Right would insist on abortions: Save themselves some money.

    • surfjac

      It’s called: cherry-picking from the buy-bull.

    • guest

      That’s a great idea!

    • Raina Sikes

      OMG you have your things twisted. Opposing help after the baby is born? Where in the heck did you get that information? You libs are the uninformed. Food stamps and welfare are for people that DO need a helping hand but NOT year after year just because it’s easier not to work. Using EBT cards to buy alcohol, smokes and drugs. You might say “how can you get drugs like pot etc from a store”? Well people sell EBT cards for cash all of the time. I got approached in the parking lot a couple of weeks ago to buy one from someone. The thing is that employers shouldn’t have to FORCE there employees to HAVE to pay for the birth control option in their plan. They want you to buy it regardless even men which is totally wrong. I sympathize with you for wanting the pills for the reason that you use it for but not to be forced to have it in a plan that I have to pay for. The so called affordable healthcare act is the biggest mistake that they ever had and if it’s not really hurting your wallet then it will soon. Especially next year when the rates go up at least 50% and more. You guys voted him into office. All of the promises that he made to get into office. He knew damn well he was lying. ” cutting family health plans by 2,500, you can keep your doctors, you can keep your plan”, how about this one ” and it won’t cost another dime”.You guys fell for his lies. Religious freedom to not have to pay for something that goes against your beliefs.

      • Sandy Greer

        OMG calm yourself. Before you work yourself into such a state it requires a visit to the emergency room.

        Funny how everybody who doesn’t believe what YOU do is ‘uninformed’. Liberals laugh when Righty Tighties get a ‘hate on’ for any/everybody who’s not ‘just like them’: You play right into our hands. Hate is a People Repellant; the only votes you get are from folks just like you, and you’re a dying breed. That’s how uninformed WE are.

        Do you KNOW how ‘risk’ works, WRT insurance? They spread the risk: I’m covered for prostate exams I will never use, and men for pregnancy; we are ALL covered for diseases we may never get. Car insurance works the same way, and Homeowners: We are covered for car theft, and burglaries, which may never occur.

        ^^^It’s called ‘spreading the risk’ and it’s how insurance works.

        Now get back to praying you can take the Senate. ‘Cause you folks need all the help you can get.

      • still human

        insurance always pays for things I do not have and never will have a need for–try Viagra–prostate cancer and so on. I am not complaining but only pointing out that you do not want to pay for birth control no matter the usage –which coincidently I have no use for either. Insurance was never intended–ACA–or any kind that will pick and choose what it covers unless you only want cancer coverage and even then you cannot say I do not want to pay for uterine cancer or prostate cancer. If you want to come right down to it and say it is against God’s law(religious freedom) then maybe medical care of any kind should not be offered . If it is Gods decision that you become ill then maybe ill you should stay. I understand how stupid that sounds but how does it differ?

    • FD Brian

      and abortions make less democrats, they really hate democrats.

      • Sandy Greer

        Funny thing is, Repugs get them too. And even women who believe in God.

        Yep; women from all walks of life.

  • Keith Davis

    Fuck chik-fil-a, hobby lobby, and all the other fascists hiding behind christianity. Your god can make decisions for YOU, but you don’t get to decide ANYTHING else for ANYONE else. Keep your b.s. ideas to yourself and your backward family, your employees are free to choose for themselves how they live their lives.

  • guest

    Can we all boycott this disgusting store. They now are wanting to manage the health care of employees, I think they are doing the bidding of the haters in the republican party.

  • jWd

    Don’t shop at Hobby Lobby EVER!!!!

  • sarasotasandy

    I’ve read the comments. And I have two things to add. Did anyone ever learn the Constitution? But the reality is retail is tough; I’m sure lots of you also hate Walmart. But Hobby Lobby has probably the best pay package in all of retail. If they lose this case, I believe they will sell their company. Whoever buys it will not continue the employee practices of Hobby Lobby. Their employees really are going to get screwed. Instead of full-time jobs with good pay and benefits, they can look forward to part-time and no health care. Once again, the government will have done the only thing they are good at — FUBAR!

    • surfjac

      So what you’re saying is, hobby lobby’s owners are a bunch of greedy cowards afraid of the future…not sure any amount of money would make me want to work there. However, jobs are scarce so I see the point you’re making. I’ll bet some of the employees are aligned with management here but are unaware or apathetic of the larger consequences.

    • rosemary

      they will not sell their company and lose millions of dollars. And, what is your point about the constitution? You make comments without substance. ‘reality is retail is tough’…what exactly does that mean in relationship to a profitable company using their religious beliefs to control other people?

    • Emora

      I’m not sure you understand the article, or what Hobby Lobby is doing. As for the Constitution, what in the world does that have to do with anything? He’s a BAPTIST, not a Catholic, the four types of contraception he and his company are all in a twist over just that-contraception, AND his company buys cheap crap from China, a country with a mandatory one child only law. Do you comprehend at all the ramifications for all of us if Hobby Lobby wins? Or do you believe the false science, and the “contraception turns women’s wombs into tiny graveyards” yahoo? Seriously, take a breath, and try again.

      • Pipercat

        It’s all just merchandising. What a fabulous way to get extra publicity for your store. After all, religious beliefs are one thing; but this is business and business is business…

      • Ann_W

        Abortofacient drugs kill a baby (fetus you’d say). Why should I (or any Christian) have to pay for that.

    • Sandy Greer

      Analysis Paralysis: Fear of consequences.

      The sky is always falling. And yet, it never does. 😉

    • Raina Sikes

      I agree with you Sandy. The libs don’t care what the Constitution says. They could care less about religion but claim to be religious. They are the uninformed. Can they still not see what the govt is trying to do to our country? Unbelievable. We have to pray we take the senate this year too.

      • Sandy Greer

        Seems to me if God wanted you to take the Senate, God would just GIVE it to you, and you wouldn’t have to pray so hard for it.

      • FD Brian

        Lots of RWNJ don’t care what the constitution says either.

  • Alierias

    Thank you! Sadly, the people who need to hear this, won’t. Even if you wrapped it up with a bow and kissed their asses, they won’t crack their little minds open even a bit…

  • Lovegoodwriting

    Erin – not trying to be a grammar nerd – but curiosity and interest are “piqued” not “peaked.” Just free editing from me to you.

  • if they win they can also refuse to cover other (non contraceptive) medications to treat illnesses based on even the weakest of potential abortifacient potential (or even teratogenic potential that could lead to fetal death or limited viability post birth) thus allowing men to get treatment and women to have to pay out of pocket (and risk being fired for doing so) for those treatments. Yee HA hobby lobby owners, I guess I’ll be seeing even more of those good Baptist girls coming to my local women’s clinic for abortions “they need because of their special circumstances”

  • Carole

    How many times, how many ways must women say “Keep your rules off my body!” Boycott.

    • Ann_W

      The actual thing that you are saying is, “Keep your rules off my body, but you have to pay for what I choose to do with my body.” I wish I could boycott paying for your abortion pills, but the government will throw me in jail if I do.

  • Lunarjuice

    This article is very disturbing to me. Why must religious people be castigated and denigrated for disagreeing with some of Obamacare’s mandates? Hobby Lobby currently offers 45 different birth control options to their employees. Obamacare wants them to offer all 49 options, but because they object to only four of those options, our government says that’s not good enough. Do any of you know that Obamacare has a built-in financial advantage for employers NOT to provide any insurance for their employees? Right now, Hobby Lobby wants all their employees to be covered. But Obamacare considers their choice to be “faulty” because it excludes just 4 of 49 different birth control methods. And for that, Hobby Lobby is being fined the $36,000 per day per employee. But if Hobby Lobby decided to stop providing any insurance at all, they would only have to pay $2000 per day per employee. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see which option provides a better financial gain for this business, but they are good people who care about their employees. This family’s religion doesn’t end when they walk out of their church doors. Their religious freedom is a fundamental part of America, the Bill of Rights, and the First Amendment. They shouldn’t have to pay fines for exercising their religion. And for all of you who are going to boycott Hobby Lobby, good for me! I love that store and hate crowds so I’m happy all the way around!

    • Sherri G

      Companies, businesses and corporations are “paper created entities separate from the owners”. Companies, businesses, and corporations do not have religious beliefs!!!!! They do not attend church, do not partake in communion, do not pray…….the owners might but the owners are a separate entity from the company and their religious beliefs do not get to merge with that separate entity, otherwise owners would also be liable for all Company issues and civil lawsuits as well as be taxed up their asses! they have to obey the law of the land whether it’s the US France Germany or Taiwan.
      yeah if this was a devoutly religious Muslim, Hindu, Pagan or _________ obusiness owner, I guarantee you this would never have made it up to the Supreme Court and the right wingers would certainly not be defending them for their attempt to have religious liberty and freedom in the United States!

  • Right-Wing-Christian Wacko

    I believe that Hobby Lobby, Chick-Fil-A, Starbucks and other such businesses should stay out of politics and morality and just sell whatever they sell…

    • Ann_W

      They can stay out of morality when you stop forcing them to pay for your morality. I believe you shouldn’t kill babies through abortion. You disagree, but that’s not good enough for you, I (and Hobby Lobby) also have to pay for your abortion drugs. That’s your morality and I have to pay for it.

  • AbortionisnotaRIGHT

    One of the most ignorant articles I have ever read…. only worried about ‘her rights.’ Well, what about the right to believe whatever the hell you want? Regardless of if you agree with it or not… just as many, many, many people don’t agree with the pro-choice lifestyle… You know what? We have to accept that whether we like it or not. So grow up and deal with it, bitch.

    • Nonnymouz

      Well, I’m a Jewish business owner. Its against my beliefs for you to eat non-kosher food, or to mix milk and meat. Therefore, do not expect to be allowed to bring a bologna and cheese sandwich for your lunch. Oh, and during Passover, you can’t have leavened bread either.