Jon Stewart Blasts Donald Trump: There’s Still Only One ‘F*ckface von Clownstick’ (Video)

donald-trump-clownstickJon Stewart’s upcoming retirement has been known for quite some time, but it’s hard to fathom that we’re approaching the last few weeks of his tenure hosting The Daily Show. While I’m optimistic that Trevor Noah can do a good job, nobody is ever really going to be able to replace Stewart. In a lot of ways he became the political voice for an entire generation of Americans.

Take for instance last night’s show where he perfectly skewered the three newest GOP presidential candidates, as well as potential candidate Donald Trump – or as Stewart likes to call him, “F*ckface Von Clownstick.”

First, Stewart absolutely slammed Lindsey Graham’s idiotic assertion that he learned not to trust Iranians from helping to run his family’s pool hall as a child. That’s either incredibly racist or the dumbest reasoning I’ve ever heard for why someone would distrust a nuclear arms deal with another nation.

“That is so stunning. You’re against a nuclear deal with the Iranians because they remind you of some South Carolina billiards hustlers you met when you were 8?,” Stewart said.

But even Graham’s comments weren’t as ridiculous at Trump’s, who said during a Fox News interview that he has the perfect, foolproof plan to defeat ISIS – except he’s not going to share it with anyone right now.

“Not because I don’t have a foolproof plan; I do,” Stewart said, impersonating Trump. “I have a foolproof plan that would work, save thousands and thousands of lives. But I’m not going to tell you. I’m withholding it for now, because I am a tremendous a*shole.”

The thing is, Donald Trump knows that all he has to do is continually bash President Obama and Fox News is pathetic enough to continue giving him airtime to feed his need for attention.

Stewart went on to mock the “colorful characters” that make up the GOP’s clown car, but asserted that potential candidate Trump is, by far, the biggest clown of the entire circus.

“They’re all very colorful characters,” Stewart stated. “But for me, there can be only one F*ckface von Clownstick.”

He then went on to blast the media for painting Bernie Sanders as some crazy lunatic, when the reality is he’s basically just a politician who says what he thinks – even if sometimes it’s not stated in the most eloquent ways.

“The problem here isn’t that Bernie Sanders is a crazy-pants cuckoo bird,” he said. “It’s that we’ve all become so accustomed to stage-managed, focus-driven candidates that authenticity comes across as lunacy.”

Stewart’s right about that. I’ve asserted for years now that we rarely ever see genuine politicians because voters don’t like hearing the truth, they just want someone to tell them what they want to hear. And in this day and age where the media often targets anything and everything that’s said by politicians, often taking things completely out of context for the sake of ratings or revenue, even the slightest slip up can haunt a politician for years.

But it’s segments like this one which are what I’m going to miss the most about Stewart. I’m not sure if anyone can properly mock the seemingly endless stupidity that goes on during presidential elections as brilliantly as he can.

Watch the full segment (in two parts) below via Comedy Central:

Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.


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