After news broke that Texas Governor Greg Abbott had ordered the Texas State Guard to monitor the activity of the U.S. military based on concerns voiced by insane conspiracy theorists, I was really hoping Jon Stewart would address this nonsense.
To my delight, Monday night he did just that. Stewart ripped into the idiocy driving this entire situation by those people referring to these exercises as a “Texas takeover.”
“You know who’s calling it a ‘Texas takeover’? Lone star lunatics. Dallas d*cks, Houston a*sholes,” Stewart said. “There’s no Texas takeover. The United States government already controls Texas. Just borrow a textbook from a neighboring state, it’s all in there.”
Stewart then mentioned a similar exercise in 2001 known as “Rolling Sands” that was actually the largest military exercise in history – that went on without incident, martial law or any governors ordering their state’s guard to monitor what the military was doing.
Though, as The Daily Show host pointed out, that was back when our president was Republican… and white.
“It appears you are on the verge of being taken over by ISIS or the United States of America,” Stewart quipped. “So you have a choice to make. And when you make it, just remember, and I never thought I’d be saying this, what would Rick Perry do?”
That statement reminded me of an article I wrote a while before Abbott was elected warning Texas Democrats to be careful what they wished for following their celebration of Perry’s announcement that he wasn’t going to run for re-election, because his likely replacement was going to be much worse.
Unfortunately, I was right – Abbott is absolutely awful.
Though perhaps the worst part is he hasn’t even been in office six months and he’s already managed to prove himself to be even more ridiculous than Perry. That statement in and of itself is terrifying.
To add a little perspective to this, Abbott’s decision to order the Texas State Guard to monitor the U.S. military was so ludicrous that a former Republican Texas representative directly wrote to the governor imploring him to stop “pandering to idiots.”
But to be honest, this entire situation has, at times, left me speechless. It’s still honestly difficult for me to believe that I’ve just witnessed the governor of my state order the State Guard to monitor the activity of the U.S. military all based on the outrageously delusional “concerns” of people who are flat-out crazy. It’s one thing to use hyperbole or joke about the crazies taking the country over, it’s quite another to see it happen firsthand.
By giving into these insane conspiracy fanatics, Greg Abbott didn’t just embarrass himself, his state or the Republican party – he embarrassed the entire country.
Watch the video of Stewart’s segment below via Comedy Central (the part about the “Texas takeover” starts around 5:20 into the segment):