Jon Stewart Mocks ‘Lone Star Lunatics’ Who Believe Obama Is Trying To Invade Texas (Video)

texas-lone-star-lunaticsAfter news broke that Texas Governor Greg Abbott had ordered the Texas State Guard to monitor the activity of the U.S. military based on concerns voiced by insane conspiracy theorists, I was really hoping Jon Stewart would address this nonsense.


To my delight, Monday night he did just that. Stewart ripped into the idiocy driving this entire situation by those people referring to these exercises as a “Texas takeover.”

“You know who’s calling it a ‘Texas takeover’? Lone star lunatics. Dallas d*cks, Houston a*sholes,” Stewart said. “There’s no Texas takeover. The United States government already controls Texas. Just borrow a textbook from a neighboring state, it’s all in there.”

Stewart then mentioned a similar exercise in 2001 known as “Rolling Sands” that was actually the largest military exercise in history – that went on without incident, martial law or any governors ordering their state’s guard to monitor what the military was doing.

Though, as The Daily Show host pointed out, that was back when our president was Republican… and white.

“It appears you are on the verge of being taken over by ISIS or the United States of America,” Stewart quipped. “So you have a choice to make. And when you make it, just remember, and I never thought I’d be saying this, what would Rick Perry do?”

That statement reminded me of an article I wrote a while before Abbott was elected warning Texas Democrats to be careful what they wished for following their celebration of Perry’s announcement that he wasn’t going to run for re-election, because his likely replacement was going to be much worse.

Unfortunately, I was right – Abbott is absolutely awful.

Though perhaps the worst part is he hasn’t even been in office six months and he’s already managed to prove himself to be even more ridiculous than Perry. That statement in and of itself is terrifying.

To add a little perspective to this, Abbott’s decision to order the Texas State Guard to monitor the U.S. military was so ludicrous that a former Republican Texas representative directly wrote to the governor imploring him to stop “pandering to idiots.”


But to be honest, this entire situation has, at times, left me speechless. It’s still honestly difficult for me to believe that I’ve just witnessed the governor of my state order the State Guard to monitor the activity of the U.S. military all based on the outrageously delusional “concerns” of people who are flat-out crazy. It’s one thing to use hyperbole or joke about the crazies taking the country over, it’s quite another to see it happen firsthand.

By giving into these insane conspiracy fanatics, Greg Abbott didn’t just embarrass himself, his state or the Republican party – he embarrassed the entire country.

Watch the video of Stewart’s segment below via Comedy Central (the part about the “Texas takeover” starts around 5:20 into the segment):



Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.

Comments

Facebook comments

  • Clintoris

    No one thinks he is invading.He is simply practicing for the day in the not so distant future when he declares martial law and begins locking civilians up in internment camps.

    • FD Brian

      you mean locking people up and not charging them with a single crime?

    • D Lemon

      Right – another tin-foil hat wearing, booger-eating l00n who is just waiting for the President to come grab their guns and lock em up. He’s had quite a bit of time to carry out this nefarious plot – when’s he finally going to start?

  • Vape

    I’m a huge Jon Steward fan, but I don’t think he did the first part of the segment correctly. Is he commenting on the islamic extremists that showed up to convention center? Or the cops that killed them when they opened up fire on an unarmed security guard (which he didn’t even mention)?

    Either way, the members of the group were practicing their rights by holding a contest, and two gunmen appeared with the intention to kill. The cops killed them before they can kill anyone inside. They are heros, why is that not the story?

    • Nate Bruce

      Because its not funny and jon stewert is a comedian. Plus the people at that convention are intentonally antagonizing dangerous people its supid. It would be like going up to a mugger thats black and yelling the n word at them. Just plain dumb u desrrve to get shot at that point for your own stupidity.

      • Vape

        I don’t agree that’s the same comparison. They are not running up to Muslims in the street forcing them to look at the pictures they drew. They held a contest in a private space. If the concern is promotion, there are plenty of “hate” groups out there that promote their bigoted agenda under their rights of free speech. But being offended sooo does not give anyone the right to kill.

        I’m not saying I agree with the American Freedom Defense Initiative (the groups sounds insanely ridiculous), but I do support their rights to free speech just like I support anyone’s right to free speech.

      • Nate Bruce

        I support there free speach too, but intentonally antogonizing someone is stupid. Sure you have a “right” to do it, but you can still be rude and condesending and some crazy people will kill you for that. Doesnt mean they should, but intentonally antagonizing them is foolish no matter how you try and spin it.

  • FMAWG

    Screw you! We’re from Texas. Obama is a certified gun grabber. He has never earned the trust that legitimate Constitutionalists require. To marginalize his opponents as lunatics and to denigrate the entire Lone State is always their MO. Obama and his legions of social progressives are jealous of our milk and honey but have no interest in working the fields that bring God’s bounty upon respectable people.

    He is the hater not freedom lovers. We love our freedom and are willing to fight for it. Without the sacrifice of these like minded patriots BO would be speaking German.

    • FD Brian

      parody account?

    • Pipercat

      The lard-assed Texicans of German stock aren’t working the fields either; that award goes to a certain ethnicity who are actively recruited and defamed, all at the same time.

    • D Lemon

      Check out this article about the coming invasion of Texas: http://www.stonekettle.com/2015/05/jade-helm-insanity-that-ate-texas.html?m=1

      • FMAWG

        Cruz is a plagiarist. The just because you are paranoid comment is from the late comedian Lenny Bruce who was way ahead of the times.

    • Steve Sapp

      Screw you I am from Texas also and Obama has not made any attempt to take any guns. And you people are crazy to believe all that crap.

      • FMAWG

        Steve Sapp you are a special kind of stoopid. It is every social progressive’s wet dream to get their hands on our guns.

      • Howard Sands

        Then why do you still have guns?

      • Sharon Brucks

        They are nuts Steve. You can’t argue with crazy. It’s horrendously embarrassing. As if their rifles could stop the USA military. I’m ALREADY American! What are they going to do?! It’s ridiculous. I hope they do allget together and the USA drops some scuds on them and lets the rest of us Texans have our state back.

    • Nate Bruce

      I hope he does take ur guns if ur gonna act like this.

      • FMAWG

        Nate Bruce is another citizen who believes your Constitutional rights are invalidated simply because you disagree with him. Who are the real lunatics snd paper patriots here?

      • Nate Bruce

        If you threaten other people, ya, they can be revoked. Juat like yelling fire in a movie theater is t protected under free speach, forming a militia to go to war with the government isnt protected under the second.

      • FMAWG

        Read the coments again Nate Bruce. Where did i threaten anyone? Where did i promote a militia to oppose the Feds? I think you want to take away constitutional rights away from citizens that dare to think differently than you.

      • Nate Bruce

        Your supporting people in texas that are milatarizing themselves in order to fight the feds. Thats treason, and not protected under the constitution.

      • FMAWG

        You would like to see me hang for treason simply because I disagree with you. That’s very un American.

      • Nate Bruce

        I dont want to see you hang. But forming a militia to fight th us government is treason. Period.

      • FMAWG

        The government is of the people,by the people and for the people. Who is governing these days?

      • Nate Bruce

        Obama. Who was democratically elected. Twice.

      • FMAWG

        And duly sworn to uphold the Constitution. Twice. He as chief executive has arbitrarily decided not to enforce laws that he disagrees with and directed his subordinates to harass citizens of the opposing party.

    • GeeWhiz

      You are lunatics and paper patriots.

    • Ron Hicks

      NUT!

    • Ron Hicks

      Nobody likes Texas or teabaggers. STFU.

      • FMAWG

        Ron Hicks- Folks such as yourself are like hemorrhoids, when you first come down its scary as hell. But when you come down to stay you are a real pain in the ass. Please stay north of the Red River.

    • Howard Sands

      It would have been much better if you stayed quiet. Now that you said something, we know that you’re crazy.