Jon Stewart Mocks Sarah Palin’s Iowa Gibberish: ‘Ma’am You’ve Got To Leave The Walgreens’ (Video)

jon-stewart-sarah-palin-iowaAfter I watched Sarah Palin’s now infamous Iowa Freedom Summit speech, one of the first thoughts that went through my mind (after my brain tried to process the insanity) was that I really hope Jon Stewart dedicates at least part of his show on Monday to this absurd nonsense. Thankfully my prayers were answered as last night he absolutely tore apart Palin’s incoherent babbling.

Though before he could even get to her idiocy he made sure to address several of the other featured speakers at this conservative event. And, wow, did this “freedom summit” provide writers, political commentators and comedians with tons of material.

“A lot of Republicans who will never be president met this weekend,” Stewart began.

He then poked fun at Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker’s “go big and go bold” line from the speech, asking, “Wait, isn’t that the tagline for Tide?”

Following Walker’s remarks he showed a clip of Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX), comparing him to Ned Flanders from The Simpsons for his bizarre attempt to seem extremely over-the-top folksy in his address to the crowd.

Next up was Mike Huckabee who went on for quite a while on some strange rant about pig killing and making sausage that led Stewart to the logical conclusion that he must have been hungry and really wanted some sausage.

But it got even better when he played Rick Perry’s absurd comments where the former Texas governor seemed to be trying to outdo Howard Dean circa 2004 when the former Democratic presidential candidate more or less destroyed his campaign following his famous yell.

And while all of the aforementioned Republican speeches were indeed ludicrous, none of them came anywhere close to the stupidity that Sarah Palin exhibited during her speech.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I believe it may be the rare brown-haired Alaskan podium seeker,” Stewart said as he began playing parts of Palin’s embarrassing speech.

“Well, it was all going fine, until her subjects stopped talking to her verbs,” he mocked.

After playing another clip of Palin’s unintelligible gibberish, Stewart quipped, “You know, that’s the kind of talk you normally hear right before the pharmacist says, ‘Ma’am you’ve got to leave the Walgreens.’ Now we know what it’s like to get cornered by Palin at an open bar wedding.”

He then hilariously played Matthew McConaughey’s Lincoln commercial with Palin superimposed over him giving part of her speech. It’s something that just has to be seen to be fully appreciated.

This was easily one Stewart’s best segments in recent memory. Then again, it’s hard not to have a great comedic segment when a large group of 2016 Republican presidential hopefuls all appear at the same event. And the saddest part is, all Stewart really had to do was play clips of exactly what these GOP presidential hopefuls said. The best comedy writers in the world often can’t come up with anything as hilarious as quoting Republicans verbatim.

Watch the segment below via Comedy Central:

Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.


Facebook comments

  • Jim Bean

    I thought Stewart’s segment on the outbreak of Liberal idiocy was more compelling and had more socially beneficial qualities because people are actually dying because of Left-wing delusions.

    • W F S

      Of course you did.

    • RLHHoof

      And of course no one died because of horrible decisions made by any Republican…….oh wait, my bad! Thousands in Iraq and Afghanistan! Suprise dude, people die all over the world, but it isn’t always “those darned liberals” at fault! Sorry!

      • Jim Bean

        I think what I said was “people die because of liberal idiocy’ and that makes Stewarts rant on that more consequential than his rant on Palin.

        I’m sure what I did NOT say is ‘no one ever died from a decision made by a Republican.”

      • Rob Bailey

        Funny how IQ, education, and other measures of intelligence are more associated with Blue states… We can always rely on those bastions of intelligence like Alabama and Kansas to reliably vote (R).

      • Jim Bean

        Its not all that surprising when you consider the ‘associations’ are being made by liberals determined advertise their superiority.

      • congero

        Another post about Palin. Not.

      • Jim Bean

        I would add I’ve had considerable exposure to your superior and impressive intelligence and educations. Some examples:

        You knew logging was killing the Spotted Owl. You knew Zimmerman was guilty. You knew you could keep your plan and doctor. You knew you would be saving $2500/yr on health insurance. You knew OWS was the biggest civil uprising since the Civil War. You knew there
        were shovel-ready jobs. You knew Wilson was guilty. You knew 2010 would be a cake-walk for Dems. You knew sequestration would cause the greatest depression ever. You knew science would prove XL was too risky. You knew increased crude on the market would NOT have any effect on gasoline prices. You knew Obama was full of it when he said 2014 was a referendum on Dem leadership.

      • congero

        What a garbled hodgepodge of right wing Fox newz nonsense.

      • Danceroflife

        You are spewing gibberish the way Sarah Palin does! Obviously indulging in nonsensical drivel is an innate Republican trait. JS.

      • congero

        So people die under conservatives because ? Lol. How smart was it to invade Iraq?

    • Cemetery Girl

      Think you got confused. It was a segment on Republicans saying the exact same thing at any speaking engagement, year after year.
      Honestly, this is something that has just got on my nerves with politics (really not even just Republicans but all politicians, just Republicans seem to share scripts or something), don’t just list off bullet points with absolutely no plans. To me, it’s even OK to admit if you don’t have a plan if you have a plan on how you’ll create a plan. JFK didn’t know how to get a man on the moon, but he did know that our country could back NASA and they had the knowledge to figure it out.

      • Jim Bean

        I have looked at both plans and boiled them down to this.

        Pubs believe that maximum prosperity for all will result from doing everything possible to stimulate increased economic activity in the private sector.

        Dems believe that maximum prosperity for all will result from doing everything possible to bleed as much money as possible out of the private sector.

        Which makes the most sense to you?

        And both do have plans and they have made them public. For Dems its raise taxes, plus raise taxes, plus raise taxes.

        For Pubs its reduce the tax born and regulatory disincentives being imposed on the private sector’s activies.

        Bear in mind, government produces no revenue. They merely harvest and redistribute revenue produced by the private sector.

      • Rob Bailey

        Kansas. Nuff said.

      • chomps

        The democrats use the increased taxes to pay for programs for our neediest citizens. You might want to learn more words.

      • Jim Bean

        Yes, after they’ve made them needy.

      • congero

        Name a republican president in recent history that didn’t run up record deficits? By the way the recent great recession happened under a republican administration. Idiot.

      • Cemetery Girl

        First of all, the statement that Democrats just want to bleed the private sector dry is inaccurate. Yes, there is a desire to help those in need, but there is more than that. Education, healthcare, our country lags behind other post-industrial countries, and for what reason? There really is no reason the greatest country in the world should be lagging behind.
        Second, raising or lowering taxes is not a plan. It can be a step in a plan, but is not by itself, a plan. It would make as much sense as if I were to say I’m going to be a farmer so I’m going to get some seeds. It leaves out what I would plant, where and when I would do so, how I would do the work needed, and what I would do with any resulting harvest. I would be a fool if I said “well, I’m going to get seeds, and then we will either figure out the next step when the time comes or let nature run it’s course, but I have a plan!”

      • Cathryn Sykes

        One of the truly stupidest memes around. Government provides a whopping big load of services for that revenue. Should the private sector not pay for all such services they use? Such as a national road system. Police and fire departments. A legal system that backs the contracts corporations depend on. A world-wide military that protects corporate interests abroad. A monetary system that allows corporations to buy and sell. Public schools that educate corporate workers. Somehow all this…and much more….gets forgotten when we start talking about corporations who now pay almost NOTHING in taxes being asked to pay their fair share….

      • Jim Bean

        They ARE paying for everything mentioned. ALL of it. And if the highest corporate tax rate in the world equals ‘almost nothing’ how do the countries with much lower rates do it?

      • congero

        BS. What the corporations actually pay is different then said rate.

      • RLHHoof

        Oh sure, your “deregulate the banks” and “Trickle down economics” have worked sooooo well for the middle class in the past!

      • congero

        Really? Then why are corporations recording record profits? Government produces no revenue? Tell that to all the workers who labor off of defense contracts and the CEO’s who depend on those contracts. Who built the roads and infrastructure the businesses use? Like always you’re full of tea tard bs.

      • Jim Bean

        Those people are paid with tax-dollars, nitwit. Tax dollars is/are money that came from elsewhere in the private sector – not from the marketing of infrastructure (of which defense is a part.)

        Corps records profits are coming from Obama’s QE which is just a gimmick to make it look like the economy is doing much better than it is.

      • congero

        And what do they do afterwards dummy? They spend, they pay taxes and contribute to the economy. They build ships that transport commodities, planes that carry goods and passengers,missles and bombs that help protect the country. Medicine that help fight and cure illnesses. They provide business with a educated work force, make sure roads and electricity are there so goods xan move back and forth. The government does help create wealth Mr. Parrot . In case you haven’t noticed during the recession business wasn’t spending that is why the government needed to. Government spending that every president including Reagan had used to help get out of a recession except this one who was faced with austerity that many countries are now rightfully rejecting.

      • SmallBizOwner2

        Have you not noticed that the trickle down theory never trickled down to us smaller mom & pop places & the average American. We need fairer taxes for the average American (which means those living off income from capital gains take on more of the burden like the rest of us) and higher wages for the Walmart type workers so there is more money in the economy which equals more jobs building more things and less of a tax burden on us all because those workers wont need food stamps, etc.

      • Jim Bean

        You raised taxes on the wealthy at the beginning of 2013. Since then, the wealthy got wealthier, the middle class got smaller, and wages stagnated further.

        Conservatives understand why that was the result. Liberals do not. That’s unfortunate.

        (I’m not defending the greedy, simply acknowledging the realities.)

      • annicka

        Sir, I must ask what motive do you have posting on this site? Do you have a perversion or some insecurity that causes you to spout ignorant comments such as
        ” Dems believe that maximum prosperity for all will result from doing everything possible to bleed as much money as possible out of the private sector.” which is utter bullshit and a downright lie. I think shared wealth would be a more fair statement.
        Followed with your mythical statement “For Dems its raise taxes, plus raise taxes, plus raise taxes.” I have lived in a conservative controlled state for 50+ years and NEVER have my taxes been lowered as “Pubs” like to preach in their election campaigns .
        And then you top it off with a doozy such as “government produces no revenue”. I can only think, “Damn, what a sorry, sorry idiot”
        All these statements of yours just makes me shake my head and hope people like you will someday realize that all of us, including yourself, ARE the government. That is how a democracy works.

      • Jim Bean

        OK. Tell me how government produces revenue – revenue that is ‘produced’ as opposed to taken from someone else. (Bear in mind, I’m smart enough to know that when they print money, it devaluates all the existing money and is simply a back door tax to transfer the value from those who have it to the government, so you’ll get slapped down if you try that sell me that rotting egg.)
        If you weren’t included in the Bush tax cuts then you are in that group that pays no federal income tax so your complaint is a rather weak one.

        And finally, beginning in Jan 2013, you raised taxes on the wealthy. The results since then is the rich got richer, the middle class shrank, and wages have stagnated. How is that a good thing?

      • GenerallyConfused

        Sales of military hardware to our allies, for starters

      • Jim Bean

        The government doesn’t have factories that manufacture military hardware. That’s all done in the private sector. At best, they’re the middleman for a few a few sales and they skim a little money off the top but they (government) produced nothing of economic value with the money they’re getting paid.

      • GenerallyConfused

        Umm. No. You don’t know how it works. Let me spell it out for you.

        1. Gov. Contracts lockheed, etc to make the equipment, company makes it with the help of military engineers.

        2. After all is finished, designs and blueprints are no longer under the ownership of said company, the government owns it.

        3. Profit.

      • Jim Bean

        You initially said they were selling the hardware that they paid contractors to make with tax dollars. Are you now saying they are selling the designs and blueprints? That’s bad. I’d think a lot of that stuff would be classified. How much are they getting?

      • GenerallyConfused

        I never said anything if the sort. I said that hardware after production has finished, along with blue prints and designed are the property of the government.

        Then, such hardware, once produced (minus such things as our cryptographic logarithms, naturally) can be sold and some are sold to our allies.

        Why on earth would we sell blue prints and designs?! That’s just madness.

      • Jim Bean

        OK. The government hired private contractors with tax payer dollars to create something and deliver it to them. In that phase, I seem them spending revenue.

        So where is the phase that government creates revenue?

      • GenerallyConfused

        You are going to keep trying to ignore the sale part aren’t you?

        I shouldn’t have to outline in intricate detail for you how it works.

      • Jim Bean

        I haven’t ignored it. When the stuff was sold the government recovered all are part of the tax dollars/borrowed money they spent to have it made. If they were able to sell it for any more than they paid to have it made, that difference is canceled out by the interest they paid on the money they borrowed.

        The national debt is 18 trillion dollars. The government is anything but a money making venture.

    • sherry06053

      Jim, is this how you did it?

      shakins Jim Bean • 15 hours ago

      St­art ma­king $100 every day for working online for a few hours each day from your home… Get payed weekly on a regular basis… You’ll need a computer, little free time and internet connection and you are ready to

      go… ———->

      • Patrick Atwater


    • Rob Bailey

      Dude, you are even more of an idiot than I thought possible. Dead people = Cheney’s Iraq. Dead people = NOT Ebola. But keep on typing; you’re the troll version of Palin.

      • Jim Bean

        Palin had nothing to do with those deaths. This article – the one we’re discussing – is about Palin. Idiot.

      • congero

        And yet not one of your post discusses Palin. Idiot.

  • Creeayshun Sighuntist

    Are we sure that Sarah Palin is not actually Sacha Baron Cohen in drag? I’ve never seen the two of them in the same place. Hmmmmm….. Or maybe Andy Kauffman isn’t actually dead and is getting us one more time. Either way, it’s brilliant

    • dasboot

      I really have considered that she is a liberal masquerading as a republican just to make them look bad. If only Andy Kaufman were alive today, he could have had so much fun with the tea party.

  • Who did the subtitles? Wow.

  • Ev Rom

    It’s scary to think that this woman has a following that think she should be president.

    • Mark R.M. Holmstrand


  • James Wingfield

    I used to love these moronic clips of the GOP. Unfortunately I no longer get the same amount of amusement. Obviously the GOP is more than disgusting, but unfortunately so are the DEMS. Obama has carried out an exclusive neo-con economic agenda. He has managed to maintain support of most everyone else despite, a non universal health care plan. More defense spending than ever before. An economic disparity that has never been seen. A continuation and escalation of stripping of constitutional freedoms NDAA 2012 etc…. A massive destabilization of the middle east, a very quite insertion of more troops than ever before in the middle east, an escalation with nuclear power Russia thought impossible even a year ago, money put aside in the 2015 budget bill to bail out the banks again, and laws that allow amnesty for massive corporate wrong doing etc… Ohhh not to mention Obama has been quietly and fervently working to pass a free trade agreement and restrict internet freedoms. And a continued myth from the bush administration about the necessity of loss of freedom because of the big bad muslim terrorists who are about to slaughter us all. Laugh at the republicans if you want, but all of us laughing at these disgraceful politicians are just as bad. According to Oxfam the top 1 percent of the world has more wealth than the bottom 99. Let them do the laughing and start screaming!!!!

    • misterwong

      Thank you wingfield,for the reality check.My Grampa reminded me,”remember to vote,but remember that they’re ALL crooks.”

  • Pipercat

    I’d wager the promoters of the event deliberately turned off the teleprompter.

  • FD Brian

    Susan B. Anthony would never have fought for women’s suffrage if she new about Sara Palin.

  • Patrick Atwater

    Nobody wants to read an article about what Jon Stewart said on his show. Why bother, do you think you can say it better than he did? Just show us the clip!

  • Judy Jackson

    Sarah Palin has NO real interest in running for office. She knows who her audience is & she knows that it doesn’t matter WHAT she says or how bizarre she sounds, her audience will still buy her books & donate money to her Sarah Pac. Palin is definitely NOT the brightest crayon in the box, but she is bright enough to know her audience.

  • Judy Jackson

    Am I the only one who thinks that Rick Perry might have forgotten where he was when he hesitated over saying Iowa?

  • Courtney Hunter

    sarah palin s speech reminds me off the go the go go gophers indian from Tennessee tuxedo cartoons who s famous line was “what him say ?” but instead “what she said ?” …….