Leading Republicans Bash Pope Francis, Claim He Doesn’t Know Anything About Christianity

republican-liesFollowing Pope Francis’ encouraging comments in an 85-page document written by the leader of the Catholic Church, it goes without saying that Republicans wouldn’t be very happy.

Nothing quite like having the most recognized religious leader on the planet bash your entire economic ideology.  Especially when your party claims to be based largely on Christian principles.

Well, following these comments, I found some exclusive reactions by several leading conservatives expressing their absolute disdain that Pope Francis might dare to act like a Christian.

First up was Texas Senator Ted Cruz who, as many of you know, was raised by an evangelical minister who’s claimed that communism and evolution go hand in hand — so you know Senator Cruz is a true “religious expert.”

Upon hearing what the Pope wrote, Cruz said:

“He clearly doesn’t understand the true meaning of Christianity.  I’m not sure what kind of socialist upbringing he’s had, but true Christian principles are found in taking from the poor — not giving to them.  How will the poor ever better themselves if we don’t make them work for it, at a very low paying wage?  We can’t continue to let Obamacare corrupt the Pope, which it clearly has.”

Echoing Cruz’s comments, Michele Bachmann also had this to say:

“I don’t know about you guys, but this Pope sounds like a communist who hates America and doesn’t understand the Bible.  This radical liberal talk of accepting people, not judging others and helping the poor must stop.  Talk like that isn’t from any form of Christianity that I’ve ever heard of.”


Rush Limbaugh chimed in later in the day, saying:

“Look, I know Pope Francis thinks he knows something about religion, but he obviously doesn’t.  God and religion are tools meant to stir up fear, hate, anger and paranoia within people so they’re easier to manipulate.  And I’ll tell you what, this hopeful demeanor this new Pope has seems very similar to that of President Obama’s 2008 presidential campaign.  And we all know President Obama is the anti-christ.  The last thing Americans need is hope.  Pope Francis might need to take a few classes in American Christianity before he offers any more insight because the stuff he’s talking about, the Koch brothers just won’t like.”

Alex Jones was particularly outraged about the Pope’s comments:

“This is clearly a false flag perpetuated by the New World Order to indoctrinate the Catholic religion with actual Christian principles instead of the ignorant, hateful, judgmental system of beliefs they’ve proudly shared for centuries.  I blame the government.  They’ve clearly implanted a microchip into the Pope’s brain and have full control over everything he says and does.”

And finally, Sarah Palin voiced her displeasure with Pope Francis:

“Look, I don’t know what kind of squirrely things this Pope thinks he’s up to, but in America we know Christianity.  We know the great white hope, the American named Jesus Christ blessed all of us good Americans with the power to determine what real Christian values are.  Pope Francis might want to come on up to Alaska and see what real Christianity is.  Because what he seems like to me is some kind of a socialist liberal who hates freedom.  I’m not sure what kind of Jesus he’s been taught about in whatever liberal schools he’s gone to, but here in the good ol’ U.S. of A. we know about the real Jesus.  I guess Obama’s reach has no bounds as he’s clearly infiltrated the Vatican and convinced Pope Francis to follow his Marxist, fascist, socialist, communist Muslim beliefs.”

Alright, I’m sure by now most of you probably figured out these comments aren’t real.  Sorry.  What is real is the fact that we have what may be the most progressive Pope to come along yet — and certainly in any of our lifetimes.

Hell, we’ve already had Sarah Palin say that he seems too “liberal,” but she’d need to “look into it” further.  And that’s just the beginning.

In fact, I received several comments from conservatives pertaining to communism and socialism after the Pope bashed trickle-down economic theories.

To have the Pope almost directly call out the very foundation for which the entire Republican economic policy is based is a much bigger deal than most people presently think.  It’s one thing to have liberals say Republican economic policies are a scam, but for the leader of the Catholic Church to say it — well, that’s a whole different ballgame.

How can Republicans counter that?  Do they dare claim that the Pope — the leader of the Catholic Church — knows less about real Christianity than they do?  If they attack the Pope’s message, then they risk alienating millions of Catholic voters.

It’s going to be extremely interesting to see how Republican leaders go forward with comments such as these by Pope Francis gaining worldwide notoriety.  Eventually reporters are going to press a few of these politicians, and they’re going to be forced to answer questions about Pope Francis directly calling out trickle-down economics and saying the facts don’t support the theory.

And I don’t know about you, but I cannot wait to see what they’ll have to say.

Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.

Comments

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  • Andrew Scott

    It seemed real coming from these guys.

    • That’s the thing about satire these days.. The right-wing is so outrageous, so out-to-lunch that we can all wind up actually believing some truly ludicrous stuff.

  • Steve Nealy

    While certainly Pope Francis’ decidedly liberal (for a pope) leanings will be the target for many on the religious right, making up quotes does a disservice to this site. Either become a comedy site like Daily Currant or The Onion or don’t. But you cannot straddle the line.

    Cruz, Palin, Limbaugh, Jones, Bachmann and the rest of the sky is falling crowd spout off enough knee-jerk nonsense without making up a thing. As Mr. Clifton states, he simply could not wait to see what they’ll say. I certainly wished he had.

    • Karisa Brunken Rowland

      It’s usually called satire. And, this is a BLATANT satire. Shees, dude, you really need to lighten up. Build a bridge and get over it already.

      • Jack F. Trolls

        This is America. We don’t really do satire.
        Go to Europe if you don’t like that.

      • Harland Sexton

        Republican Alert! … Republican Alert! … Republican Alert!

      • SluttyMary

        When repub teahadists are involved, it’s really hard to tell satire from fact.

      • DannyEastVillage

        As to it’s being “blatant,” that’s a matter of opinion, but in my opinion it isn’t really blatant at all. If you read between the lines of what they actually say, the so-called “christianity” of these clowns very much matches these fake quotes

    • Oh, Steve.. It’s o.k… really it is. I can take satire here and there (and write satire here and there) on sites other than the Onion or Currant or Freewoodpost or those other ones.

    • disgusted with Tea Twits

      get over it Steve ! I was upset because as I was reading it I thought ” these people are done ! they finally screwed themselves over good ! ” Then realized it wasn’t true ! I thought all my christmas wishes had come true !! Now I’m scared of them again !

    • tmack77

      lighten up Francis

  • chris

    bad satire… waste of time. stop it

    • marykay52348

      I loved it, take it for what it is SATIRE and lighten up, life’s too short!!!

      • Karisa Brunken Rowland

        Amen, MaryKay!

    • David Ewers

      what wrong chrissy, got you panties up in a bunch.

      • Karisa Brunken Rowland

        Really?

    • Karisa Brunken Rowland

      Stop it? Get over it!

    • Jazz

      For Pete’s sake. Humor is good for the sould

  • Suzanne Longo

    I thought it was funny. I want to hear what Mr. Catholic Rick Santorum says. He’ll probably say Pope Francis is encouraging beastiality,

    • Karisa Brunken Rowland

      LOL!

    • Uuena Van Light

      Steven Colbert seem be jumping on the Anti-Pope bandwagon. He Catholic too.

  • Michael Drzyzga

    Seems most of the comments are people hating on the satire. Even saying this site should be full satire or not at all. (Paraphrasing). I disagree. I see nothing wrong with a serious site including some satire which it explicitly flags as satire. And this is obvious enough that I don’t think there’s a problem (except maybe not being particularly funny satire).

    • Karisa Brunken Rowland

      I thought at least some of the satire was really quite clever and quite obviously satire, at least to me (if not the rest of the people who commenting on this piece).

      • Karisa Brunken Rowland

        rest of the people who ARE commenting . . .

    • Karrde

      Meh. This is just all the Left has. If you can’t make a salient argument, just mock your opponent. That’s really all they’ve been able to do for the last six years.

      • Nathan Frigerio

        Have you actually been paying attention to the ridiculous comments made by these demagogues?

      • karensc

        Nathan, Karrde BELIEVES the ridiculous comments spouted by these demagogues.

  • marykay52348

    I believed it. LMAO Almost but it was so blatantly horrible I went to the end of the article and saw it was a satire. I’m sure if they thought they could get away with it they would all come out and say just this. Hey, you could write for any of these people.

    • Jo Clark

      I did the same…scooted to the end to see =) Very funny, and sadly, pretty believable, like all political satire today. Pretty bad when pure satire about the GOP is so close to real life that you sometimes can’t spot it as satire.

      Indeed this will be interesting to see how they handle this!

  • Jennifer Eastep

    Please stop with the satire involving Palin, Bachman, Limbaugh and Cruz. Given enough time these people will open their mouths and embarrass themselves. No need to make stuff up…LOL!

    • Mike

      They already HAVE embarrassed themselve! LOL!!! 😉

    • Shaun Kirkwood

      Good point, Jennifer. Reminds me of the old joke: PBLC: “Are you trying to make me look like an idiot?” Responsë: “You don’t appear to need any help, there…

    • DannyEastVillage

      Well–full disclosure: that’s why I didn’t find it hard to be taken in by these fake quotes. I cop to it.

  • TexasAlien

    This misleading story means leaving this bunch. Credibility or at least the attempt to warn about satire is in order.

    • TKnTexas

      At least the author said it was made up. The quotes seem real. I know the East Texas Baptist will side with Ted Cruz and gang.

    • Karisa Brunken Rowland

      If you have to warn about satire, doesn’t it take away the point of it being a satire?

  • Angel Rivera

    I like the fact that the right will have to respond delicately and that is not a skill of the fire-breathing right that we love to make so much fun of…

    • Nathan Frigerio

      I don’t think they will respond, even if pressed. Just like the facts they ignore.

  • texasoldtimer

    Sounds like this Pope is listening to fake Catholics like Biden instead of true Catholics like Santorum.

    • Karisa Brunken Rowland

      I don’t think the Pope is taking his cues from ANY politician, much less an American one.

      • texasoldtimer

        And you can prove this how? It’s obvious this Pope is getting his socialist rhetoric from commie Biden who is not a true Catholic.

      • Harland Sexton

        Just like you are a Texas Old Timer … Biden is a Political Old Timer … He could out-draw you with his smile …

      • Harland Sexton

        Just like you are a Texas Old Timer … Biden is a Political Old Timer … He could “out-draw” you with his smile … And, that makes me smile …

      • Harland Sexton

        He could do worse … In fact he already has … Invited the Palestinians into the fold … Do you think you would enjoy having having Palestinians running in and out of your house all day? … (that’s a rhetorical question) …

    • Nathan Frigerio

      More satire, oldtimer?

  • Michelle

    Ooh leave the satire to the onion, This was baaaaad.

  • Daniel Tabor

    “In fact, I received several comments from conservatives pertaining to communism and socialism after the Pope bashed trickle-down economic theories.”

    Godly communism? Will we have to change our money again?

  • Sabreen60

    Sarah Palin wishes she could say something remotely as coherent.

  • MLR

    Ok, I thought you had lost it there for a minute. I almost had to do the most unpleasant thing a liberal can do and defend the crazies by telling you they never said those things. Don’t do that again!

  • Todd Schoedel

    I am disgusted with the right, but by attributing these comments to these idiots, even in jest, is not a good idea. Don’t the people on the right make enough stupid comments, without having to fictionalize them. Very poor journalism.

    • Guest

      It’s called satire — and blatant satire at best. It’s fine journalism. Build a bridge and get over it.

    • Karisa Brunken Rowland

      It’s satire — and blatant satire at that. There’s nothing wrong with the journalism. Build a bridge and get over it.

  • Karisa Brunken Rowland

    Guys, it’s a good, solid satire. And, it’s obvious it’s a satire, especially to the people who actually read and appreciate satire. If the writer had warned you it was a satire, that would take away the entire point of writing a satire in the first place. So, lighten up. Learn to laugh. Otherwise, you may find others confusing you with the those on the other side of the political spectrum who clearly take themselves wayyyy toooo seriously.

    • Steve Nealy

      You seem to be waving the flag for “good, solid” satire. This piece by Clifton is neither. When one considers the sheer number of people who already have taken these quotes at face value as “true” (i.e. more proof the right’s leaders are delusional twits), I’d have to say this piece fails entirely as satire.

      Again, the right typically does quite well on their own looking the fool. No need to blatantly make up quotes that at face value (and considering the attributed source’s propensity to define crazy), appear plausible.

    • Nathan Frigerio

      I was creaming myself after the first two, at the third, I figured it was b.s.
      Still, I laughed heartily. Just disappointed it’s not real.

  • Vincent Caione

    Bottomline REPUBLICANS ARE ALL GOING ON A ONE WAY TRIP TO HELL.

    • JKR

      and they are trying to take us with them.

  • Dave

    This has got to be complete bullshit. I hope the left (us) are not becoming the right. This has got to be complete lies.

    • Christopher Wisdom

      Did you actually READ the entire article, or just the first few paragraphs? Because if you had actually bothered to read the whole article, you would’ve read the part where the author states “Alright, I’m sure by now most of you probably figured out these comments aren’t real. Sorry.” Great job reading, pal. -_-

    • Harland Sexton

      Republican Alert! … Republican Alert! … Republican Alert!

  • Mr. Bellamy

    The ideas that this pope espouses are not liberal or progressive. They far predate those concepts. They are, in fact, primordially Christian. We haven’t seen actual Christianity embodied or lived publicly by “Christian leaders” in so long now that we now confuse it with political ideology.

  • Susan K Browder

    I don’t like this sort of satire. I consider myself a liberal democrat and do not like that many who do not read carefully will take these made-up comments out of context. It provides fodder for criticism to those who are eager to undermine progressive goals.

    • Nathan Frigerio

      Why not, fight fire with fire.

      • Michael Drzyzga

        Because all that does is leave the world in flames. ;P

      • Christopher Wisdom

        Maybe the political world NEEDS to go down in flames, so that, like the pheonix, it can rise again, stronger and more in line with what our founding fathers had in mind, with a few tweaks for the 21st century, of course.

  • YouKnowMe

    DON’T DO THIS. There’s already too much bad “satire” going around, too many “snicker snicker this isn’t real but let’s stir the pot anyway there’s always a few fools who’ll fall for it, lulz.”

    Stick with REAL reporting, Allen. That’s what I come here to read. I can get all the ersatz Onion and Borowitz I DON’T need all over the web.

  • DONI GALLINGER

    Sorry, but those last four paragraphs were NOT satire, and made the whole article appear bona fide. The purpose of satire is not to mislead. Alan Clifton needs to work on his craft a bit more.

  • Hooty Hootowl

    The Pope smokes DOPE! God gave him the grass.

  • Mister_Mean

    I would imagine that if some one pointed out that I was blaspheming -putting words into Jesus’s mouth to further ones personal objectives, especially when they harm others, that I too would object. Possibly even be in denial too.

    In review of what the GOP has said and what they stand for I would imagine that they have a one way express ticket to hell. May the GOP politicians (and Fox News and Koch Brothers) roast in eternal flames of fire and molten lava (I am talking the lowest rings of Dante’s Inferno) for their doings in the name of their false gods.

  • Susan Wood

    Pretty good parodies, but the grammar and syntax in Palin’s were too good. It wasn’t word-salady enough, doncha know.

  • Jeannette R Warren

    What idiots, and may I say There goes the Catholic vote.

  • Nathan Frigerio

    If English was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me. A real quote from a long ago Texas politician.

  • Cathy Farr Fothergill

    He doesn’t understand Christianity. Catholicism is not Christianity. Christians worship God, not Mary and the Pope.

  • PBoy

    WTF! If you are not the “Onion” then do some real f-ing news… this is a waste of time and internet space… Palin, Bachman, Limbaugh are bad enough without you joining in…. with this you are ars as vapid as they are.

  • Stanley Churchill

    I knew it, I knew it…………..Sarah couldn’t string that many words together in a coherent manner………….

  • Tóireasa Purviance Meehan

    This was utterly stupid and pointless. Not even approaching good satire. Just a major FAIL all the way through! It was so offensive to any intelligent reader that I did not get beyond the first “quote”.

  • ScubaMoon

    Quoting Sarah Palin, “I guess Obama’s reach has no bounds as he’s clearly infiltrated the Vatican and convinced Pope Francis to follow his Marxist, fascist, socialist, communist Muslim beliefs.” ; sad she is not smart enough to know that a marxist, fascist, socialist and communist have pretty much opposing ideologies and one person cannot be all of them…

  • regressive rightwing trash

    mmmmmmmmmmmmm,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,my liberal white ass really really really wants to “KNOW”–in the biblical sense–sarah palins sexy body- but: she MUST buy me a 12 pack of VERY cold YOO HOOs or the sexual liason is OFF!

  • Kirk welch

    I stand with Steve Nealy
    and I’m sorry Karisa Brunken Rowland. This is the same bunk as what FOX puts out and telling people at the end of it that it’s Satire is like Lara Logans apology over the Benghazi story.
    The Teabaggers don’t need help outing themselves as ignorant pseudo Christians. They do it themselves every day and when Conservatives see this it gives them more ammunition to throw at the Left.
    Just report the news, everyone else is going for eye catchers, bling and blitz. We need real news. I already know what the Teabaggers think of anything that they don’t believe in as a collective.

  • DannyEastVillage

    Michelle Bachmann said;

    “I don’t know about you guys, but this Pope sounds like a communist who hates America and doesn’t understand the Bible. This radical liberal talk of accepting people, not judging others and helping the poor must stop. Talk like that isn’t from any form of Christianity that I’ve ever heard of.”

    I TOTALLY believe her.

  • karensc

    Amazing that Sarah Palin thinks the Pope is too liberal for acting like a real Christian. Kind of indicates what kind of “christian” Sarah is.

  • lynk137

    I hope you come to realize that most people wont read this long enough to see the disclaimer at the bottom stating that the quotes are just made up and not real.

    • Harland Sexton

      My bubble was burst exactly like you say …

  • Acts01

    If Michele Bachmann and her tea party patriots would just quit wearing
    those size 34 floppy clown shoes they would be able to take ballroom
    dancing lessons. And maybe tap dancing too. LOL

  • Lindsay Haisley

    Well damn! Somebody has been plagiarizing The Onion!

  • Diwife

    Does anybody bother to research ? None of these people said any of this. Wake Up

    • Harland Sexton

      So you took the trouble to “research”? Oh! you believed the article until you got to the bottom of it like me, eh? … LOL … So funny … Rolling my eyes …

  • Mary

    I read the first comment that Cruz had supposedly said… Instantly freaked out, googled it, came back, read the rest of the article, and got disappointed. The thing is – they ARE that close to being that stupid.

  • Casey Purdy

    what’s the source of the michelle bachmann quote?

  • theprozacqueen

    A lot of conservative Evangelical types here in the South don’t consider Catholics, Eastern Orthodox and pretty much anyone who isn’t exactly like them to be Christians. That’s how they justify comments like this.

  • Uuena Van Light

    Let me Translate:
    “How will the poor ever better themselves if we don’t make them work for it, at a very low paying wage?”

    How will the Nword, Wet(Bad word), Yellows, and other non-Whites ever better themselves if we don’t make them work for White Man, at a very low paying wage?

    All the other quotes, these nuts really believe there are some type of Caste system in the United States and the World. Right Wing Conservative White Christians are top Caste and everyone else including other Whites are below them. They believe theory of superiority over others. Yes, Ted Cruz might claim to be Latino but Latino of European heritage.

  • Prs

    April Fools! Even the new republicans aren’t quite this bad. But its funny that we have to stop and think about it for a minute.

    • Harland Sexton

      April Fools has gone past … Now you’re the biggest fool at last …

  • GOPhater

    THe man studies scripture the way is SHOULD be studied and these buffoons who only quote and know parts of it are experts???? LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!

  • PJ

    This is just plain scary. Hope none of these crazes ever get elected to a position of power again.

  • Ceylon Byas

    These believer’s would know Jesus if he walked up on them a performed miracles before their eyes, They would “crucify” him saying it was “witchcraft”! November people, kick these ilk out permanently!!

  • Mariana

    Notice how none of the quotes are cited? Because they are all made up lies. Not surprising coming from a liberal.

  • James Hay

    What a sack of filthy lies. Hope you all take a bath after rolling around in this bull sh*t!

  • Iowan

    No Sarah you don’t know Christianity,YOU KNOW REPUBLICAN SHARIA LAW. You call it Christianity but it’s really RSL. Christianity doesn’t take away help for th poor to reward rich republicraps. The Pope ,a man who has dedicated his life to Jesus Christ and has studied Christianity all of his life. Sarah ,you can’t even finish out a term as governor that you were elected to serve. You are the stupidest woman in POLITICS. Well, maybe you and Michele Bachman are tied for that honor. Sarah, You are one dumb B—- !

  • lars626

    Hmmmmm. Bachmann was once a member of a Lutheran congregation affiliated with the Wisconsin Synod. They believe that the Pope is the anti-Christ. She is no longer a member there and nobody will claim her. I watched a live debate with her and she said on several issues that her position was the same as the Roman Catholic church.
    Still trying to get my head around that one.

  • Cathie Stone

    I thot it was HILARIOUS….what a bunch of tight assescomplaining about satire….because they got “took”……..LOLOLOLOL