Wouldn’t Life Be a Lot Simpler if You Were a Conservative?

boehner-memoSome days as a liberal I sit back and wonder to myself, “Wouldn’t life be a lot simpler if I were a conservative?”  Now I know the response from many who read that will be along the lines of, “Hell no!”  And I don’t really mean that I wish I were a conservative.  But, jeez, being a liberal requires a lot of hard work.

Liberals have to do things like:

  • Understand science.
  • Realize that our resources aren’t unlimited and we have to take better care of our planet.
  • Care about the feelings of others.
  • Actually know about factual history, not legend.
  • Think critically.
  • Come up with original thoughts.
  • Know math.
  • Worry about the sick, elderly, needy and poor.
  • Figure out how to give every American health care.
  • Logically deal with our immigration problem.
  • Solve problems with diplomacy, not violence.
  • Try to prevent greed from destroying this country.
  • Fight for equal rights for all Americans.
  • Think about people other than ourselves when making a decision.
  • Use big picture thinking when supporting policies.
  • Doubt a lot of the media that’s supposedly “liberally biased.”
  • Deal with a diverse group of liberals who are all very different from one another.

The list could just go on and on.  As I said, being a liberal requires a lot of hard work.

The same can’t be said for most conservatives.  They:

  • Don’t need to understand science, they just say “God did it.”
  • Have no need to worry about climate change, God’s in charge of that too.
  • Only care about themselves or people just like them.
  • Believe any historical legend they’re told as long as it supports conservative ideology.
  • Don’t think education is that important.
  • Believe the sick, elderly, needy and poor should just leave them alone and fend for themselves.
  • Don’t care about fixing our broken health care system.
  • Just think we should build a wall between the U.S. and Mexico while deporting anyone who’s illegal – even if they’ve lived here since they were an infant.
  • Think any problem internationally is simply solved by going to war with it.
  • Believe that regulations aren’t necessary and capitalism will just “work itself all out.”
  • Only care about equal rights for people who look just like they do.
  • Believe that they should only think about their wants, desires and benefits when making decisions.
  • Never try to use big picture thinking on – anything.  If the results aren’t immediate, they’re just a liberal lie.
  • Only trust Fox News and the people Fox News tells them they can trust.  Anyone else is part of the “liberal media.”
  • Typically only deal with people who’ve been spoon-fed the same propaganda from Fox News as they have, so they’re in agreement on just about every single issue.

Again, I could keep going on and on.

But to be a conservative must be so much simpler.  Who cares about science, climate change, severe changes in the weather, protecting our future, educating our children, saving the planet – that’s all in God’s hands.  It doesn’t matter what we think or do because it’s not within our power.

News?  Heck, just turn on Fox News and that’s the “truth” right there I tell ya.  You don’t even have to think for yourself, they’ll tell you what you should be outraged about.

Economics is easy.  Just sit back, give the rich tax breaks, allow corporations to get away with whatever they want and everything will work out perfectly.

Because that’s really what their entire ideology breaks down to:

  • For social issues: See God
  • For economic issues: Unregulated capitalism

And that’s basically it.  Neither of which require these people to think about anything one bit.  Just let unregulated capitalism do its thing and let God take care of the rest.

But I’m glad I’m a liberal, because I don’t want to be like conservatives.  I like thinking for myself; caring about others; thinking critically; trying to solve complex issues; helping the poor; trying to save the planet; and fighting for equal rights for all Americans.

And being a liberal might be a heck of a lot more work – but it’s sure as hell worth it.


Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.

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  • john

    Love this!

  • John

    The conservatives promise that I wouldn’t lose a chunk of my hard-earned money paying taxes. As enticing as it sounds, a fat wallet isn’t worth treating others who aren’t like me as second-class citizens. Thank God I’m a liberal too.

  • Sandy Greer

    Sure. ‘Cause there’s only one way to be a Conservative. One way to be a Liberal. Or any other thing.

    Even the author is not stupid enough to believe this tripe. Which means:

    He thinks WE are so stupid we’ll swallow it whole. He insults our Intelligence; shows his complete and utter contempt and disrespect for us; thinks us stupid enough to swallow any crap he spoons out under the guise of Liberalism.

    Get over yourself, Allen Clifton. You do Liberals an enormous disservice. Conservatives too. And everybody in the middle. You tarnish anyone with half a brain.

    • v2787

      Let’s see your enlightened take on the topic, then, since you seem to believe you’re so much smarter than the author. We’re waiting…

      • Sandy Greer

        Wait. Didn’t I ‘think critically’ and have an ‘original thought’ – as the author said we Liberals should do – in two of his bullet points? Didn’t I ‘think about people other than ourselves’ when I ‘made my decision’ to post here? Check. Why, I even ‘doubted the media that’s supposedly “liberally biased”.

        Four. Count ’em. ^^^ Four bullet points – all taken right from his Liberal column. While you, OTOH:

        >Great stuff, and totally accurate. Thank you.

        ^^^Now, there’s an ‘original thought’ – ‘spoon-fed’ – direct from the author, to you. He knows his audience; I’ll give him that.

        This is an election year. We can expect more of this crap, from both sides. And we can expect people from both sides to swallow it whole – just like you.

        But it beats me why anybody wants blind sheeple following behind. And it’s especially galling to see it perpetrated by Lefties – who think we don’t have a brain in our heads – but blindly follow, where they lead:

        Into Straw Men. And ad hominems. And heaping piles of bullshit. And that we’re happy to wallow in it.

        But like I say. Author knows his audience.

  • v2787

    Great stuff, and totally accurate. Thank you.