Man Allegedly Beats Friend to Death — Over BBQ Technique Dispute

WELCH, ALVIN KENNETHDoing what I do for a living, it goes without saying that my faith in humanity gets tested constantly.  Trust me when I say that before I got into this business, I never realized just how insane many people truly are.

It’s why when people use the blanket statement about mental illness and violent crime, I always warn against such a broad accusation.  What might seem like mental illness to one person is normal to another.  In fact, many acts of violence are committed against people the victim already knew.

Take for instance this story I read about where a man allegedly beat his friend to death over a dispute about meat slicing techniques.

I’l say that again.  A man beat his friend at a party at the friend’s house, resulting in that friend’s death —  all over a disagreement about proper meat slicing etiquette.

Thirty-five year old Alvin Kenneth “Chico” Welch Jr. is being accused of beating his friend Joshua Andrew Heinz to death after the two got into a heated dispute over carving techniques.

This happened last Saturday night at a football watching party at Heinz’s house in Jacksonville, Florida.

Apparently Welch was cutting some meat for a take-home plate when the two began arguing over the proper way to slice that meat and things erupted from there.  This argument apparently lead to Welch grabbing a bat and hitting Heinz in the head with the bat.  This left Heinz laying on the floor conscious but unable to speak.  He died early Sunday morning.

Welch then fled the scene with the bat.

I just can’t grasp how mentally unstable someone has to be to grab a baseball bat and hit someone in the head with it all because of a stupid argument over meat slicing techniques during a football watching party.

This story matches the absurdity of the ridiculous $100 million lawsuit a pimp in Portland, Oregon has filed against Nike because his Jordans didn’t come with a warning label specifying that they could be used as “dangerous weapons.” He filed this after a jury found him guilty of stomping a man to death after not paying for “services” provided by a prostitute who apparently worked for him.

Yeah, that’s a real story.  Not satire.  Though when I typed the headline, I couldn’t believe I was actually writing something so ridiculous.

It’s stories like these that just leave you with the sad feeling of, “What is the world coming to?”

Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.


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