Michael Sam Gets Drafted Into The NFL, Bigots Lose Their Minds

rsz_sam12n-3-webMichael Sam is now a St. Louis Ram. The SEC Defensive Player of the Year was a 7th round draft pick, and watching his reaction to “the call” is joyous. You may be asking yourself why conservatives care about Michael Sam. He’s a football player, a really big (6’2″, 260 pounds), really cute football player, so what in the wide, wide world of sports is the deal? Oh, right, he’s gay. And to many conservatives, that means he’s not allowed to play football, because football isn’t AT ALL homoerotic. The QB spends a lot of time with his hands placed firmly up against another man’s epididymis, there is much patting, slapping, and spanking of the buttocks, and the pants they wear are so tight, it’s amazing any of them have a sperm count.

Yes, Michael Sam is the first openly gay NFL player. He’s huge, he’s talented, he’s adorable (I may have a little crush here), and OH MY GOD he’s gay. This does matter, just not for the silly reasons conservatives think it does. Shane Bitney Crone created a meme Saturday that read:

Just got hired for what he does, can’t get fired for who he is.

That’s why it matters. That’s why the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell mattered. We have millions of men and women in the United States who, at least when it comes to their jobs, cannot be discriminated against for being LGBT.

But to a vast majority of conservatives, the important thing here is GAYNESS. Not in a good way, not in a positive way, no, in a very awful, horrible way. I read a lot of articles about Michael Sam yesterday, including pieces at Bleacher Report, USA Today, and CNN. And I made the mistake of scrolling down to check the comments. I shouldn’t have done that. Because we all need to understand the mindset of these ignoramuses, please allow me to share just a few of those comments with you now. These are taken from Bleacher Report’s Facebook page. Please note, we have edited the nasty words in order not to anger the Google gods.

We’ll start with the extremely noxious Kenneth H., who wrote:

swallow all that sh!t you want hope you get aids

Obviously, Kenny was so angered by the video of Michael Sam smooching his boyfriend that he forgot how to use capital letters and punctuation.

Jared M. and Dennis E. commented one after the other, with the usual erudite intelligence we’ve come to expect from men living in their mom’s basements:

I’m sick of gay people telling me I have to accept this shit. Fuck off, I do what I want.

WTF…..Proof the end is near. Grateful my parents didnt suck each others d!cks…

Honestly, if Dennis’s parents hadn’t procreated, the world might be a nicer place. Moving on, we have Maurice, who responded to another comment with this:

let me guess your a [email protected] too

For the 567,890,975th time, it’s YOU’RE. I get it – you’re typing with one hand while watching girl-on-girl porn, but we’ve been screaming “YOU’RE” for years. And [email protected]? Michael Sam is a cigarette?

Adam B. is #sosad:

This might of just single handedly ruined the NFL …. #sosad

Unfortunately, Adam lives in Virginia; if he lived in St. Louis, I would have offered to take his season tickets off his hands.

Let’s end this comment spree on a happy note, with Jamie I:

I almost threw up in my mouth reading that comment. So sad to see people living a life filled with so much hate and disrespect for other human beings. Love is love. Doesn’t matter the color, gender or race. If a man and woman can kiss on camera why can’t two men who are in love and support each other? You close minded people are the ones ruining society.

Three cheers for Jamie.

The sad thing is many of the hateful comments we’ve been reading were written by people who have children. And some of those children might be LGBT. Can you imagine how awful it must be to live in a home and not be able to be yourself? Faced with the knowledge that your own parents would hate you, and probably throw you out of the house, if you told them the truth? That the two people charged with loving you unconditionally, supporting you, keeping you safe, would toss you into the street like garbage if they ever found out you’re LGBT? There are kids all over the country, all over the world, who live every day of their lives in fear. And I would wager, Michael Sam knows that fear. But yesterday, the St. Louis Rams stepped up, ignored the haters and the bigots, and chose the SEC Defensive Player of the Year as their newest teammate.

Michael Sam is a very good football player, he strikes me as a very nice young man, and yes, he’s openly gay. My two cents? His sexuality matters because there are young, gay athletes in every sport, in every school, and they need a role model. They need to know that it’s okay to be a gay football or basketball player, and their families need to love and support them. If your kid comes to you and tells you he or she is LGBT, your reaction cannot be “Get out,” or to send them to some barbaric “clinic” for reparative therapy. We are living in the 21st century, and homosexuality has been around for thousands of years. Hell, there are over 400 species of animals that practice homosexuality, but only one species that practices homophobia: humans.

Congratulations to Michael Sam and the St. Louis Rams.  Congratulations to the NFL for not bowing to the bigots. Oh, and Jack Burkman? I think someone who is rumored to have had his phone number in the DC madam’s phone book should just shut up about morality, don’t you?

Erin Nanasi

Erin Nanasi is the creator of The Bachmann Diaries: Satirical Excerpts from Michele Bachmann's Fictional Diary. She hates writing about herself in the third person. Erin enjoys reading, writing, and spending time with family. And wombats. Come visit Erin on on Facebook. She also can be found on Twitter at @WriterENanasi.


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