If there’s one thing about conservatives that never ceases to amazing me, it’s how easily they’re manipulated. I’ve often joked that I really don’t even need to debate conservatives, all I really need to do is turn on Fox News, because they’re just going to regurgitate whatever is said on that network.
They’re built on talking points. I call it bumper sticker politics. If it’s too long and complicated to fit on a bumper sticker, then most conservatives really don’t seem able to grasp it.
So, I decided I’d mock 10 of my favorite conservative talking points to expose just how ludicrous and hypocritical many of these people are.
Let’s get started…
1) We’re the party for fiscal responsibility… which is true, as long as they’re talking about President Dwight D. Eisenhower. You see, he was the last Republican president to actually balance the budget – in the 1950’s.
2) We’re pro-life… as long as you’re talking about a fetus. Otherwise they cut programs that help the poor, oppose universal health care so people can live longer and often brag about the number of executions their particular state performs each year. Oh, and they love guns. You know, the tools largely responsible for around 9,000 homicides in this country each year.
3) We’re for small government… until it comes to trying to restrict homosexuals from having equal rights or blocking a woman’s constitutionally protected right to have an abortion, then they love government.
4) We support our troops… by sending over 4,400 of them to die in a war based on blatant lies. And by blocking veterans bills for the ones who do manage to make it home alive.
5) We’re for Constitutional rights… until someone with which they disagree is given rights they don’t think they should have, then they can’t stand the Constitution.
6) We stand for religious freedom… for Christians. More specifically, conservative Christians. Because if you’re a liberal church that wants to marry a gay couple in a state which currently still has a ban in place on gay marriage, then suddenly conservatives don’t care at all about that church’s “religious freedom.”
7) Our Second Amendment says our right to bear arms shall not be infringed… always amusing how they ignore the entire first part of the Second Amendment referring to “a well regulated militia.”
8) Abraham Lincoln was a Republican… yes, he was. But let’s use a little logic here, shall we? Practically every state that fought with the Confederacy also opposed a woman’s right to vote, desegregation and the Civil Rights act. Those states are today almost all “strongly Republican” states. Racism and discrimination that’s spanned well over 150 years and passed on through several generations. Furthermore, did they suddenly forget about the Southern Strategy?
9) I don’t trust the “lamestream” media… said by people who worship Fox News, the most watched cable news channel on television. Being the “most watched” defines what it means to be “mainstream.”
10) The government is corrupt and inefficient… said by people who continue to elect politicians who run on the premise that the government is corrupt and inefficient – and once elected do their best to see that it is.
A couple of honorary mentions:
This house doesn’t call 9-1-1… I sincerely hope they reconsider in the event of a medical emergency or fire.
Guns don’t kill people, people kill people… yes, and they tend to kill one another far more often when guns are easily accessible within a society.
The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun, is a good guy with a gun… I’m fairly certain the first few victims the “bad guy with a gun” claimed before the “good guy with a gun” could identify and shoot him feel differently.
This nation was founded on Christianity… then why aren’t the words “Christian” or “Christianity” written in our Constitution even once?
Wow, I could honestly keep going on and on. Maybe I’ll do a part two. Hit me up on Twitter and let me know what you think.