Political Prize Fight: Ted Cruz vs. Rand Paul – 5 Rounds to See Who’s the Most Ridiculous

Photos via AP

Photos via AP

With the recent announcements by Senators Ted Cruz (R-TX) and Rand Paul (R-KY) that they’re running for president, the 2016 presidential season is officially underway – though I don’t believe for a second that either Cruz or Paul stands a chance at winning their party’s nomination, let alone the presidency. Cruz is so far to the right he’s about to fall off the edge of the map, and Paul is just another spoiled kid who rode the coattails of his father to political success and really has no business holding the position of power that he has now, let alone an even greater one.


But I thought I’d have a little fun and do a “five round prize fight” to see which of these two early entrants into the GOP presidential race is the most crazy. While on the surface Cruz seems to easily be the most radical, Paul is what I call “sneaky crazy” in that he has some rather extreme views on several issues, and we can’t forget that he still often reverts back to the libertarian roots that his father built for him.

So, let’s get started.

Round 1: Abortion Rights

Cruz: He once said that those who support Constitutionally upheld abortion rights essentially chant “Hail, Satan!” in an attempt to silence their critics.

Paul: The Kentucky senator once claimed (in a plagiarized statement) that abortion might lead to a time where the “imperfect among us” might be eliminated to create some sort of advanced species of humans.

Decision: Cruz

Round 2: Religion 

Cruz: The Texas senator is basically what you’d expect from a tea party Republican when it comes to religion. That is, he wishes the United States was a theocracy and that it should be legal to discriminate against gay Americans. However, I do think it’s important to point out how his father once said that there’s absolutely no science behind evolution and the scientific theory is linked to communism.

Paul: While he tries to play up this idea that he’s somehow a libertarian (he’s really not at all), he recently said publicly that he believes religion should exist within our government. You know, the exact opposite of what our Constitution says.

Decision: Cruz

Round 3: Health Care 

Cruz: I’ll give Cruz this much, he’s consistent. I’ve joked before that I’m sure if I went back through every speech Cruz has given since he began running for the Senate I would be hard pressed to find a single one of them where he didn’t bash the Affordable Care Act. Though with his obsession with lying, you really can’t believe anything he says about President Obama’s signature law.


Paul: In an ironic twist of fate, Kentucky has been one of the states that’s benefitted most from the Affordable Care Act. And while Paul has mostly bashed the law, he once comically said that he wants to see the law fully repealed – everywhere but in his home state. Never mind that if the law were to be repealed, that means all the citizens of Kentucky who are benefiting from it would lose those benefits.

Decision: Paul

Round 4: The Economy 

Cruz: A few months ago Cruz hilariously tried to use a cherry-picked economic stat pertaining to income inequality to bash President Obama and Hillary Clinton, yet ultimately ended up proving just how terrible George W. Bush was as president and that his party’s entire economic ideology is a complete failure. That, my friends, takes talent.

Paul: He once claimed that liberals have no idea how capitalism works – in the same speech where he bashed the Affordable Care Act for having to advertise by asking “why do they have to advertise to get you to do it?” Correct me if I’m wrong, but marketing and advertising are kind of a big deal in the world of capitalism. (I only got a minor in Business, so I could be wrong.)

Decision: Cruz

Round 5: Immigration

Cruz: Being that his father was an immigrant, and he himself was born in Canada, you’d think Cruz would be fairly moderate on immigration reform. Well, if you thought that you’d be wrong. Cruz, one of the senators who opposed the bipartisan immigration bill the Senate passed nearly two years ago that John Boehner refused to let the House even vote on, once tried to blame the lack of passage of comprehensive immigration reform on President Obama – even though not a single immigration bill ever landed on his desk.

Paul: A while back Rep. Steve King (R-IA) and Paul were having lunch when the pair of congressmen were confronted by two “DREAMers” who wanted to ask them some rather direct questions about their stances against immigration reform. To his credit, King talked with the individuals who had confronted him (even if he was extremely condescending), but Paul almost immediately ran away like a coward.

Decision: Paul

So, in a much closer battle than I would have initially thought, Cruz edged out Paul 3-2.

Were my decisions right or wrong? Hit me up on Twitter or Facebook and let me know.




Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.

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  • wendy

    They r all pathetic!

  • Hail Satan.

  • Ramon Abarca

    Cruz has serious issues, His father has filled is head with the idea he is “the anointed king” of the U.S, Cruz Sr. claims Jr. was selected by God Him self, to “RULE” , and all the Countries wealth would be his, now I ask you, Is this someone you want as POTUS ? I sure as hell don’t, as for Rand Paul, He’s just a Fraud, a liar, and not going to make it far.