Power Rankings: The 10 Most Pathetic Conservatives of the Week – Week 2

bachmann-benghazi-cnnWelcome to the second installment of my weekly power rankings.  The premise of this article is pretty simple.  I take the worst conservatives of the previous week and rank them accordingly based on whatever nonsense they said or did.

Again, this isn’t based on everything every conservative said as that would be nearly impossible to follow.  Typically these rankings will included more “mainstream” conservatives.

So let’s get started.

10. Andrea Tantaros: The Fox News host decided that she would prove that she doesn’t know what the heck she’s talking about by blaming President Obama for following the immigration law signed by George W. Bush in 2008. She also laughably tried to imply that the continued ISIS takeover in Iraq, the Russian invasion of Ukraine and the situation in Gaza are all due to President Obama’s policies.

9. Chris Christie: Even as bans on same-sex marriage continue to get overturned in nearly every state in which these laws are challenged, Christie still seems to believe that the battle over same-sex marriage “isn’t over.”  Yes, it is – and his side lost.

8. Phil Gingrey: Here’s another Republican who seems to pull his “facts” out of thin air. He too decided to attack these immigrant children by claiming that some of them are carrying the Ebola virus. Which, admittedly, does sound terrifying until reality sets in. See, there’s never been a single case of the Ebola virus in the entire Western Hemisphere. He also tried to claim that many of these immigrant children are spreading viruses, even though the rate of vaccinated children in several of these Central American countries is higher than that of American children. Not only all of that, but he’s aligned with a group which opposes mandatory vaccines for American children.

7. Bob Frey: It seems the Minnesota Republican believes that AIDS is only spread through sodomy.  Apparently this is his attempt to perpetuate the debunked, outdated and ridiculous belief that the AIDS virus is exclusive to homosexuality.

6. Ted Nugent: Another scumbag who could perpetually make this list. It seems the draft dodging self-admitted pedophile thinks that poor people need to stop whining and being “stupid.” Because, as he says it, “stupid is as stupid does.”

5. Michele Bachmann: She’s never really been a big fan of reality, and this past week was no different. She took the position that immigration is terrible because these immigrants are coming over here raping women and killing families in car accidents. She “proved” this by citing a whopping two instances of this supposedly happening.

4. Dick Cheney: He could probably be on this list every week just for being himself.  He’s honestly one of the worst human beings on the planet.  Well, this past week he stated his belief that our number one spending priority should be on defense before anything else.  Basically, if there’s a choice between feeding thousands of homeless children or building a new military toy we don’t need, he thinks we should build the military toy.

3. Ron Paul: How out of touch with reality do you need to be to actually try to defend Russia following the downing of flight MH17? Well, that’s exactly what Paul did by suggesting that Russia couldn’t possibly have been behind the crash because “Putin is a little bit smarter than that.”

2. Alex Jones:  He makes the list for the second week in a row, this time for claiming yet another “false flag” following downing of flight MH17.  Because what would a horrific tragedy be without Jones claiming that it was a part of some giant global conspiracy?

1. Mississippi Republicans: A recent poll found that less than half of Republicans in Mississippi would support the United States if they were to fight the Confederacy again.

Alright, well that wraps up this week’s power rankings.  Let me know if there are any other conservatives you think should have been added to the list.


Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.

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  • mistaglass

    Everyone on fox.news needs to make.this list… my main 2 ass hats i would choose… well…, My choice is perty obvious… for #2, i nominate the ever larger than life asswhipe Sara Palin. Fir her racist farce to impeach said president fo fallowing bushes agreement… and my #1 vote fo a milliin reasons is Bill (bigot) O’riley, for all the reasons that any one can think of… his bigoted backwards ass hillbilly knuckle dragging comment and his embarrassing attitude to people.of free thought, just to name a few reasons…. there you go… have a nice day! 🙂

  • Dear Mr. Clifton, I know you totally love the word “pathetic” but your overuse of it is, well…pathetic. Every time I see the word “pathetic” in a Forward Progressives article I can guarantee that you were its author. Please consider using a thesaurus.

    • Aloanstar

      What is really pathetic, is why you read Allen Clifton’s opinions just to find something wrong. I love reading everything he writes and honestly, I don’t see the word “pathetic” except in the title. He certainly could have used it on everyone on this list though.

      • How do you know that’s why I read them? He uses the word in almost every piece he writes and comes off sounding like a 12 year old girl declaring all the boys as “soooo immature”. I’d like to enjoy his opinions as much as you seem to but I can’t get over his tired writing style.

      • Aloanstar

        Honestly, you are the one who comes across sounding like a 12 year old. Stick to the conservative blogs, you will be much happier.

      • Why do you think I’m conservative? I’m just a liberal who loves the English language more than I love Allen Clifton. Sending me to a conservative blog for better writing is like sending someone to MacDonald’s for healthy food.

      • Aloanstar

        He used the word only once and it perfectly describes the people on the list….why make an issue out of it? Don’t read what he writes if you have nothing constructive to add, which is apparent that you don’t. Move on.

      • Because he uses it in about 95% of his posts, often in the title, and it’s embarrassing. You’re such a huge fan of his, I’m surprised you didn’t notice. Suggesting the use of a thesaurus was very constructive.

      • Aloanstar

        Embarrassing?? To you? Wow.

      • Oh, are you still here? I’m sorry my criticism of just one word has you so worked up. It certainly wasn’t my intention to ruin your day. I sincerely hope you will be able to move past all this unpleasantness and continue enjoying the writings of Mr. Clifton. You know, it’s still okay to like him even though he over uses a word. No one will think less of you for it.

      • Aloanstar

        You are ridiculous. It only took one word for you to criticize the guy. Sorry he embarrassed you….I am sure he will never use it again…for you. I do like him. His blogs are always well thought out and I like reading fellow Texans thoughts other than the insane politicians we have ranting in DC.

      • Really? Do you think he’d do that just for me? Don’t go kidding around with me, getting my hopes up. You wouldn’t do that to me after all we’ve been through here, would you? I hope not because I was starting to think we were becoming friends.

      • Wait a minute….”fellow Texans”? Over the top outrage to a fairly benign comment? Extreme adulation of Allen Clifton? You’re not his mother are you?

      • Aloanstar

        No, but I wish he was part of my family. Every family needs an Allen Clifton, especially in Texas.

      • Stephen Barlow

        DID I TELL YOU your handle enflame My loins?

      • Chomper Lomper Tawee

        Maybe she’s embarrassed

      • Chomper Lomper Tawee

        Don’t be pathetic!. Sorry I couldn’t help myself….

      • udicks

        When you’re talking aboit a bunch of pathetically small minded individuals its hard not to use some words!

    • Chomper Lomper Tawee

      How pathetic!

  • Stephen Barlow

    Give Me 7 other words for
    ‘pathetic’.

    • Chomper Lomper Tawee

      Wretched, contemptible, despicable, inadequate, meagre, paltry, insufficient, negligible, insubstantial

      • Stephen Barlow

        Really?

        Cut an paste like this?

        without READING them?

        heartbreaking, heartrending, miserable, piteous, pitiable,pitiful, poor, rueful, sorry, wretched

        Antonymscheering, cheery, glad, happy

        Related Wordsdeplorable, lamentable, regrettable; emotional,impressive, inspiring; affecting, moving, poignant,stirring, touching; awful, horrible, terrible; distressing,disturbing, upsetting; grievous, mournful, sad, sorrowful,woeful

        Near Antonymsunimpressive, uninspiring

        more

        See Synonym Discussion at moving

        Rhymes with PATHETIC

        aesthetic, ascetic, athletic, balletic, bathetic, cometic,cosmetic, eidetic, emetic, frenetic, gametic, genetic,hermetic, limnetic, magn…”

        Learn More About PATHETIC

      • Chomper Lomper Tawee

        You asked for seven I’ll give you two more “Stephen and Barlow”.