Power Rankings: The 5 Biggest Conservative Pricks of the Week – Week 1

boehner-faceCongratulations, you’re one of the first people to read a new weekly feature I’m testing out where I “rank” five of the biggest conservative pricks of the week based on something they said or did.

Now this won’t be an exact science.  Considering it would be impossible for me to assess everything every single conservative said during the previous week, I’m going to stick to more “mainstream” conservatives for the most part.

Alright, let’s get started:

#5 “Rolling Coal” Conservatives: These are the idiots who are modifying their vehicles to emit a thick black smoke from their exhaust in some kind of “protest” of those of us who actually care about breathing clean air and taking care of our environment.  Not only that, by them doing this, they’re most likely causing damage to their vehicle.

#4 Sarah Palin: She’d probably be higher if this wasn’t the normal nonsense from her.  Once again she called for President Obama’s impeachment due to her false accusations that he’s not enforcing our immigration policies.  She also managed to throw a little racism into her pointless rant.

#3 Ted Cruz: Senator Cruz tried to add an amendment to a simple “Sportsman’s bill” that would strip lands away from the federal government in several states, opening up many of our national parks to fracking, oil drilling and logging.  This is such a radical idea that even most Republicans don’t support it.  You could probably call this the “Cliven Bundy” amendment.

#2 John Boehner: After all this talk about suing President Obama for his “endless stream of unconstitutional executive actions,” it all boiled own to, you guessed it – “Obamacare.”  He’s suing the president for delaying the employer mandate for some businesses.  What Obama did was delay the mandate that employers with 50-99 employees must offer health insurance until 2016.  Essentially he’s suing the president for not implementing “Obamacare” more.  Amazing, isn’t it?

#1 Alex Jones: This human pile of garbage actually suggested that Michelle Obama might be a man… because she’s taller and has wide shoulders.  Even calling her a “First Tranny” at one point.  He then wrongly cited a syndrome that only impacts people who are naturally born males to “justify” his belief that she might be part man.  He also said that this isn’t a laughing matter because her size apparently has something to do with willfully manipulating the human genome.  Yeah, people actually listen to and believe this nutcase.  Scary, isn’t it?

Honorable mentions: Greg Abbott, Joan Rivers, Rick Perry, Todd Akin, “Holly Hobby Lobby

While I know people like Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Ann Coulter could almost always make this list, I’m going to attempt to only rank them by comments they make that are even ridiculous by their standards.  I might even expand it to a ranking of ten.

But that’ll wrap up this first edition.  I hope you enjoyed it.

Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.


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