Power Rankings: The 5 Biggest Conservative Pricks of the Week – Week 1

boehner-faceCongratulations, you’re one of the first people to read a new weekly feature I’m testing out where I “rank” five of the biggest conservative pricks of the week based on something they said or did.

Now this won’t be an exact science.  Considering it would be impossible for me to assess everything every single conservative said during the previous week, I’m going to stick to more “mainstream” conservatives for the most part.

Alright, let’s get started:

#5 “Rolling Coal” Conservatives: These are the idiots who are modifying their vehicles to emit a thick black smoke from their exhaust in some kind of “protest” of those of us who actually care about breathing clean air and taking care of our environment.  Not only that, by them doing this, they’re most likely causing damage to their vehicle.

#4 Sarah Palin: She’d probably be higher if this wasn’t the normal nonsense from her.  Once again she called for President Obama’s impeachment due to her false accusations that he’s not enforcing our immigration policies.  She also managed to throw a little racism into her pointless rant.

#3 Ted Cruz: Senator Cruz tried to add an amendment to a simple “Sportsman’s bill” that would strip lands away from the federal government in several states, opening up many of our national parks to fracking, oil drilling and logging.  This is such a radical idea that even most Republicans don’t support it.  You could probably call this the “Cliven Bundy” amendment.

#2 John Boehner: After all this talk about suing President Obama for his “endless stream of unconstitutional executive actions,” it all boiled own to, you guessed it – “Obamacare.”  He’s suing the president for delaying the employer mandate for some businesses.  What Obama did was delay the mandate that employers with 50-99 employees must offer health insurance until 2016.  Essentially he’s suing the president for not implementing “Obamacare” more.  Amazing, isn’t it?

#1 Alex Jones: This human pile of garbage actually suggested that Michelle Obama might be a man… because she’s taller and has wide shoulders.  Even calling her a “First Tranny” at one point.  He then wrongly cited a syndrome that only impacts people who are naturally born males to “justify” his belief that she might be part man.  He also said that this isn’t a laughing matter because her size apparently has something to do with willfully manipulating the human genome.  Yeah, people actually listen to and believe this nutcase.  Scary, isn’t it?

Honorable mentions: Greg Abbott, Joan Rivers, Rick Perry, Todd Akin, “Holly Hobby Lobby

While I know people like Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Ann Coulter could almost always make this list, I’m going to attempt to only rank them by comments they make that are even ridiculous by their standards.  I might even expand it to a ranking of ten.

But that’ll wrap up this first edition.  I hope you enjoyed it.

Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.


Facebook comments

  • Teapubliturd Hater

    Great list! Keep up the good work! 10 may work as well because it’s likely you’ll never run out of material.

  • Jim Bean

    I find number 2 lacks credence. When legislation is duly passed into law by congressional action accompanied by a decision not to veto by the President, and the President then unilaterally and arbitrarily blocks some of the law from being enacted, you no longer have a representative republic, you have a dictatorship.

    • Jen

      And no President before EVER has done that.

      • Jim Bean

        Would you argue that because people have gotten away with rape before, we should no longer prosecute people for rape?

      • dr_benton_quest

        What about the plethora of signing statements issued by GW during his 8 year train wreck? How is that any different when he says how he will interpret and enforce a law passed by the house and senate?

      • Jim Bean

        It isn’t any different. That’s my point. Why does every liberal assume anyone who criticizes Obama automatically must be a Bush supporter? That notion is so devoid of intellectual content that it defies comprehension (unless you conclude they simply use it as a tool to evade an argument they can’t counter by any other means.)

      • Cathryn Sykes

        Wow. You are actually comparing a administrative technicality wide open to different interpretations to rape. Wow.

      • MLR

        Conservative nut jobs have a disturbing obsession with rape. Haven’t you noticed?

      • Jen

        No. Rape has nothing to do with Presidential powers. It is called a line item veto, and many Presidents have used it. It is partially because there is no law stating that Congressional and House bills must restrict themselves to ONE topic. Pet projects and funding for things unrelated to the original bills get thrown into legislation making it impossible to even figure out what the original intent of the law was.

        Now, if you are going after prosecutions, that is an entirely different subject. How about we start with the CEO’s of banks that made the economy crash. Go after the war criminals of Iraq and Afghanistan. Follow the money, and you will usually find something stinky going on.

      • Jim Bean

        The rape analogy has everything to do with it when contemplating whether wrongdoings by Bush constitute a reason to excuse wrongdoings by Obama and when contemplating whether one who claims it does, is a person of reasonable character.

    • Pithy Eponym Here

      The Supreme Court ruled it was a “tax” and therefore under the purview of the Treasury Dept, which as you many guess has a cabinet position appointed by the President. So, your belief in lack of Credence, needs a clear-water revival.

      • Rand Ortega

        I see what you did there. ; )

      • Pithy Eponym Here

        Inorite? Doo doo doo lookin out my back door….

    • crabjack

      I too find that John Boner lacks credence.

      • Jim Bean

        You guys and your name calling are insufferable. I see one intellectual over-achiever above going by the name ‘Teapubliturd’. She definitely earns an “A” in Left-wing academics.

      • crabjack

        “Obie now want’s 3.7 billion….” Sound familiar? There is not nearly the amount of name calling from the left as there is from the right. It’s always been that way.

      • William Fite

        Does John Boner sound familiar. You said it. There is the same amount or more from the left. It is a liberal tactic when they lose a debate or have no clue to start name calling. Sort of like the author of this article.

      • Raymond Hamlett

        Sorry, you’re wrong.

      • surfjac

        The left never, ever sees the right doing that.
        Hey, there’s this bridge in Brooklyn for sale…

      • moonkat51

        Does Obummer sound familiar, William? Back at ya, dude.

      • surfjac

        Funny how that works…everyone screams for something to be done. Something getting done means spending money. So naturally, the right screaming at the President to do something won’t help him do anything by not giving ICE the money to deal with the overwhelming number of people crossing the border. It’s okay though, the people crossing are a shade darker, poor and desperate than most republican’ts so they don’t really care all that much. It does give them some spitballs to shoot at the President though.

      • William Fite

        How about Allen Clifton and his name calling. This article alone just shows the hatred the left have against people who don’t agree with them. I would now like to start a list of my own of the top 5 democrat pricks.

        1. Harry Reid – Racist comments about a supreme court justice.
        2. Obama – for causing the border mess then doing nothing about it.
        3. Mike Dickinson – Virginia Democrat willing to give $100K to anyone that can provide nude photos of the Texas Tech Cheerleader.
        4. Nancy Pelosi – Her lies about the Hobby Lobby ruling.
        5. Elizabeth Warren – lies about her wealth recently.

      • Jim Bean

        I am very pleased to make your acquaintance, William Fite. Hope you linger here on Forward Progressives for a long while.

      • Andy Kinnard

        These are essentially meaningless accusations without linked support (hopefully from outside the right wing echo chamber). Oh, and number two is hopelessly wrong: Didn’t cause it, trying to fix it, obstructed the whole time.

      • Pithy Eponym Here

        Because name calling is an effective and easy way out of actually rubbing two synapses together and hoping a spark of actual thought of constructive reasoning becomes the net result.

        1. Racist? Towards whom? Details not vague innuendo please.
        2. Obama did not create the border mess. How about the vaunted 10thers who decry Federal involvement, until it’s convenient to blame them for the problems at your own doorstep. Like (P)Rick Perry, and Jan “finger wagging”Brewer. We had a border issue under Bush, Under Clinton, Under GWHB, under Reagan( Saint Ronnie gave 3 million amnesty ‘member?) Hell and tarnation we’ve had border issues since Polk bought California.
        3. Sounds like a DICKinson move regardless of political affiliation.
        4. Again, details. THE HL decision is a minefield now going off…oh and due to the law of unintended consequences( Conservatives really should understand this) Gitmo detainees are suing based on that decision. Good job SCOTUS!
        5. “lied about her wealth” Seeing as how every US Senator and Congresscritter has to disclose their income, “lying” is subjective to the spin quotient perpetrated by the media.

      • Carl Cripe

        Pithy, damn good research.

      • Carl Cripe

        Darn Bill, you should run for the president of the USA. Such wisdom!

    • Raymond Hamlett


  • Terry Major-Holliday

    You nailed it!

  • barefoot bob

    The true Confederacy of Dunces !

  • Cathryn Sykes

    Only the GOP could attack the president for not implementing immediately a provision of the law they claimed was unconstitutional.

  • chefbrucewest

    Keep on the attack. That’s how the Republicans won elections. Hard attacks seem to get the attention of our citizenry. I want to crush the Republican party and their endless stream of lies, hate, bigotry, ignorance, disdain for the poor, distortion of religion, unshackeling of Wall Street, tax cuts for the very wealthy, disrespect of science. …I could go on and on. I’ve watched their dog and pony shown since Reagan and I cant take their shit anymore. Can anyone say, “Humans walked the Earth with dinosaurs?” Can you really take this shit anymore?

    • Raymond Hamlett

      I know I can’t! Well said.

    • MLR

      I can’t take their shit anymore either that’s why I call out liberals and middle of the road people for being too apathetic. If the same people that voted in 2008 had also voted in 2010 we’d be in a much better place. Our economic recovery would of been better and faster. But no, normal people stayed home and the lunatics were the ones who came out to vote.

  • Leocat11

    Being from Mississippi, I would suggest you look into Tea Party Clown/Lunatic Chris McDaniel for your next ranking.

    • Raymond Hamlett


  • Gretchen

    I would have put Sarah Palin and Ted Cruz above Boehner – only because they deserve it. And for this week I would not include Ann Coulter – loved the way she took it to Chris McDaniel.

  • imapayne

    Hey all you reich-wing whiners. You Lost-Twice. You are the reason the world is laughing at us.

  • MLR

    I’m willing to bet that the “hot” half-term governor that apparently some losers who probably don’t have a life fantasy about, will be on your list very often lol. I find it hilarious how some conservatives think liberals pick on her because she frightens us. Uh no, we pick on her because she’s an idiot. Also, it might seem silly to call out people like Alex Jones but I think it’s necessary because people like him and Palin do have a following (yeah, pretty disturbing huh?) but it’s necessary to call them out and not let their crazy claims go unchallenged.

  • nearoffutt

    You can’t stop at ten, either. We usually have both Republicans and Democrats and occasionally somebody else that say stupid stuff. Your list, if properly inclusive would look like a phonebook for NYC. Please stop giving #4 any press, in hope that she will go home if ignored.

  • Maria DelCoco

    I like the idea very much. You won’t run out of subject matter very soon, either, Allen. Keep it coming. I’ve got a few suggestions for you: Sen Rubio and Gov. Rick Scott in FL, epic climate deniers and all around idiots who are usually spouting some BS, just to name two.

  • Guest

    Good list and go for it. Make it a top ten.