A Quick Guide to Proper Grammar for Tea Party Republicans

respect-are-countryAs a liberal political writer and commentator, I’ve encountered a countless number of right-wing Republicans (often tea party Republicans) who love nothing more than to tell me what a complete idiot I am and how terrible “Obummer” is as president.

But beyond the fact that these people continually vote for a political party that supports policies which are entirely against their own interests, there’s also another common trait that many of these tea party Republicans often have:

Horrific grammar and spelling.

Now nobody’s perfect, and I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not extremely proficient in all of the intricacies of the English language.  But I don’t mean that these people are making slip-ups with some of the more complex grammar rules, I mean simply using the right form of very simple words such as their, they’re and there.

Oh, and while not as common as using “you’re” instead of “your,” double negatives are common as well.

You know, because us liberals, “Don’t know nothing!”

Well, I thought I’d offer a quick guide to some very basic spelling and grammar rules for tea party Republicans.  Just doing my part to try to help those who hate education seem less uneducated.

Here we go!

Your vs. You’re:

“Your” is possessive.  Example:  It’s funny how your political party had no problem voting to raise the debt ceiling seven times during Bush’s eight years.

“You’re” is the combination of “you” and “are”:  Example: If you’re trying to inject your religion into public policy, you’re being unconstitutional.

Their vs. They’re vs. There:

“Their” is possessive.  Example: Their attempt to be the party for the “moral majority” is quite hypocritical when they support people like Rush Limbaugh.

“There” is an adverb.  Example:  When tea party Republicans speak, there doesn’t seem to be any common sense being used.

“They’re” is the combination of “they” and “are”:  Example: When conservatives come out of church full of hate, ignorance, intolerance and judgement – they’re hypocrites.

Two vs. To vs. Too:

“Two” is numerical.  Example: When two tea party Republicans get together, often their combined IQ is still not above 100.

“Too” is a synonym that can mean “also” or “excessive.”  Example:  1) Yes, liberals sometimes have trouble with these words too.  2)  Tea party Republicans are too easy to manipulate.

“To” is a preposition. Example: Billy Joe Bob took his wife Sue Ray Ellen to vote for the candidate who hated homosexuals and minorities the most.

Though there are plenty more, I’ll keep it to the “big three” so to speak.  These are by far the most commonly misused words I see every single day.

In closing, let me go ahead and post a quick video lesson from our friend Mac Lethal.  He’s able to say things in a certain way I just can’t as a political commentator.  And yes, there is some harsh language – if you’re easily offended, don’t bother watching.  Everybody else, enjoy!

Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.


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