A Quick Guide to Proper Grammar for Tea Party Republicans

respect-are-countryAs a liberal political writer and commentator, I’ve encountered a countless number of right-wing Republicans (often tea party Republicans) who love nothing more than to tell me what a complete idiot I am and how terrible “Obummer” is as president.

But beyond the fact that these people continually vote for a political party that supports policies which are entirely against their own interests, there’s also another common trait that many of these tea party Republicans often have:

Horrific grammar and spelling.

Now nobody’s perfect, and I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not extremely proficient in all of the intricacies of the English language.  But I don’t mean that these people are making slip-ups with some of the more complex grammar rules, I mean simply using the right form of very simple words such as their, they’re and there.

Oh, and while not as common as using “you’re” instead of “your,” double negatives are common as well.

You know, because us liberals, “Don’t know nothing!”

Well, I thought I’d offer a quick guide to some very basic spelling and grammar rules for tea party Republicans.  Just doing my part to try to help those who hate education seem less uneducated.

Here we go!

Your vs. You’re:

“Your” is possessive.  Example:  It’s funny how your political party had no problem voting to raise the debt ceiling seven times during Bush’s eight years.

“You’re” is the combination of “you” and “are”:  Example: If you’re trying to inject your religion into public policy, you’re being unconstitutional.

Their vs. They’re vs. There:

“Their” is possessive.  Example: Their attempt to be the party for the “moral majority” is quite hypocritical when they support people like Rush Limbaugh.

“There” is an adverb.  Example:  When tea party Republicans speak, there doesn’t seem to be any common sense being used.

“They’re” is the combination of “they” and “are”:  Example: When conservatives come out of church full of hate, ignorance, intolerance and judgement – they’re hypocrites.

Two vs. To vs. Too:

“Two” is numerical.  Example: When two tea party Republicans get together, often their combined IQ is still not above 100.

“Too” is a synonym that can mean “also” or “excessive.”  Example:  1) Yes, liberals sometimes have trouble with these words too.  2)  Tea party Republicans are too easy to manipulate.

“To” is a preposition. Example: Billy Joe Bob took his wife Sue Ray Ellen to vote for the candidate who hated homosexuals and minorities the most.

Though there are plenty more, I’ll keep it to the “big three” so to speak.  These are by far the most commonly misused words I see every single day.

In closing, let me go ahead and post a quick video lesson from our friend Mac Lethal.  He’s able to say things in a certain way I just can’t as a political commentator.  And yes, there is some harsh language – if you’re easily offended, don’t bother watching.  Everybody else, enjoy!

Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.

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  • Jim Bean

    What, specifically, are the policies ‘against their own interests’ of which you speak?

    • real_world_truth

      Here is an example that you as a veteran should find relatable, Jim. Holding benefits for our veterans hostage to the desire to foment yet another war we can’t win.

      • Jim Bean

        Another war? Sorry, I’m not following.

      • real_world_truth

        Do you not think that added sanctions against Iran will only succeed in pushing us closer to war with that country, Jim? In February a bill to increase spending on VA care for veterans was not passed because of an attempt to attach an amendment that would increase sanctions on Iran. Hence, my example.

      • Jim Bean

        Its insane to think additional sanctions against Iran ‘pushes us closer to war’ with them. We’re not going to invade Iran. Iran acquiring nukes, however, DOES push us closer to war with them because they may be emboldened to attack Israel. And contrary to what the Left thinks, we DO need allies around the world that trust us to help them just as they would help us.

      • moe/larry & curly keys

        show me facts saying the “left” doesn’t want ( Israel) allies there
        I am however for sanctions on Iraq
        squeeze them til they revolt

      • moe/larry & curly keys

        jimbo the heavy drinker cherry picks what he answers

      • real_world_truth

        Actually, Tegu, Jim seems to me to simply be asking for a verification of point. I really wish you would be a little less flippant with your responses and a little more considered in your speech.

      • moe/larry & curly keys

        when U see what he has written—- the name calling and stuff towards me and many others U might be more lenient to what I write towards him. I do NOT say anything UN accurate. even his answer below shows his fred Astaire side-stepping of what U asked.

      • real_world_truth

        All the more reason to listen to your ‘better angels’, Teg. While yes, I have often found myself laughing at your turn of phrase and what I assume is intentional misuse of English, we should all remember that at it’s root, politics is a ‘grand game’ like all of life. A little more zen, a little less anger and you’ll find you are a much happier person. Laugh at the slings and arrows and shake them off, for they are words from those who refuse to heed their own ‘better angels’.

        That is not, by the way, any attempt to defend or condone those who choose anger and hate as their medium of expression, but if you sink to their level then that inner voice of sanity and joy within you is drowned out. Zen, baby, zen, even if you really want to reach through your computer and throttle them all.

        As for our friend Jim ‘Fred Astaire’, while watching his dance is delightful, just remember, Ginger Rodgers did everything Fred Astaire did, backwards and in high heels, so who end up being the more impressive? 🙂

      • moe/larry & curly keys

        (a)- my misuse/ destruction of Americanized English is usually intended- color ; it seems is fraught with err. (b) you are 100% correct in ‘rising above” IE: angels (note: im hopelessly human and enjoy eviscerating those who show “testarudo” tendencies. (c) I was more of a(n) Ingrid bergman guy: and I will hopefully cripple you here and now with this ” alter-thelyphthoric”(??) opine— please look up “Marilyn lange photos”
        =========================================
        finest looking woman EVER on this planet ( at least in media coverage)
        ………………. that “angel” is ( at her peak) 5’7 128 lbs. Her face/hair/skin/ figure??? impeccable
        ……………………………

      • Brad Lawrence McKee

        yer an idiot.

      • moe/larry & curly keys

        correct……
        you’re brilliant
        ==========================
        as is: Limbaugh/ palin/ Bachmann/ Tcruz/ scott walker/ glen beck/ michelle ” no tits” malkin/
        ===========================
        brilliant

      • Brad Lawrence McKee

        yer an idiot.

    • Pam Barone

      An example is when Tea Party members state that they want less government and at the same time vote for candidates who want to add legislation that reduces freedom to practice one’s own religion, or to intrude on the doctor-patient relationship. Another example is electing candidates who are against raising the minimum wage, while reducing SNAP benefits, when most of those benefits go to families that earn their wages serving in the military, or are elderly. Most SNAP benefits, medicaid and housing subsidies go to people who are white and earning low wages, disabled, or are too young or too old to work. Another example is electing candidates that want to increase subsidies and tax breaks to large corporations while eliminating regulations that would require the corporations to give back to their communities by adding jobs or not polluting the air, water, and ground where they do business.

      • Jim Bean

        “Well, you know, here’s what I would say. I think we should acknowledge that some welfare programs in the past were not well designed and in some cases did encourage dependency. As somebody who worked in low income neighborhoods, I’ve seen it, where people weren’t encouraged to work, weren’t encouraged to upgrade their skills, were just getting a check, and, over time, their motivation started to diminish. And I think even if you’re progressive you’ve got to acknowledge that some of these things have not been well designed.” Barack Obama

      • moe/larry & curly keys

        jimbo cherry-picking again,,,,,,,,,,,
        hey james: hows that repub ‘thang” where they kill vets benefits making ya’ feel?

    • PRIME79

      Red states take in the most federal money to help their citizens. Red state(republican) politicians are constantly trying to cut said federal money that helps their citizens. Yet the majority of red state voters that need the federal money to support themselves keep voting for the people trying to cut that money from coming to help them.

      A minimum wage increase could help out those in impoverished areas(red states have plenty of these) but the people in red states continue to vote for people that are against raising the minimum wage.

      Women in impoverished areas tend to suffer higher domestic abuse rates. Red states are full of impoverished areas, yet republican women in these states vote for people that voted against the violence against women act.

      And so on and so fourth….

      Matter of fact, question. What have republicans done to help their voters that make under 100k a year, which is pretty much the majority of them? Besides oppose gays and abortion and the same old same old they’ve been campaigning on for the last 30 years….

      • Jim Bean

        You want me to think that YOU believe its actually the people in the red states who are receiving the aid that are the ones voting for the Pubs who want to take some of it away from them? You need to do some research on the number of people getting aid in each red state and see if its large enough to consistently keep Pubs in office. I think you’ll find the number more accurately reflects the number voting for the Democrats.

      • moe/larry & curly keys

        show us something which provides FACTS to support that statement

      • Jim Bean

        1. Mississippi
        Percentage of Population on Food Stamps: 20.7 percent
        Annual Change in Food Stamps from 2010: 8.4 percent
        2010 Total State Population: 2,967,297

      • moe/larry & curly keys

        and,,,,,,,,,,,, what PCT are under 13 and over 65? ( who eat the food? ) don’t quit now jimbo— we are making headway here

      • Brad Lawrence McKee

        since when are you interested in facts?

      • moe/larry & curly keys

        always— that’s why I watch msnbc/FOX “news”/ cnn and pbs as well as cnbc for stock and options…
        facts,,,,,,,,
        such as : rebublican shitbag scott walker –seeing his governorship slipping faster than me inside my gals vag– has now curtailed ( bywayof expensive session in his congress) voting for minorities and young and older people; whom he KNOWS usually vote democrat.
        fact– deficit shrinking rapidly. ( NOTE: debt still problematic)
        fact: republicans just allowed our military vets to be screwed on some benefits
        fact: economy growing at fastest pace in 5 yrs( still too slow)
        fact: another reduction in unemployment benefit applications this month
        fact: ACA is actually working; signing up millions even in face of repub obstruction ( check the numbers)
        fact: tea party ( see: white trash) did NOT exist in name form until jan 2009 ( was formerly known as john birch society; white trash founded by KOCH brothers father among others)
        fact: Obama has sent NO legislation– and signed NO BILL– removing anyones guns.
        fact: republicans voted against equal pay ( lily ledbetter act) for women
        FACT: the fiscally prudent tea party trash house of representatives shut down our GOVT recem=ntly to the tune of a 24.1 BILLION doillar loss for taxpayers ( and dont give me crap about Obama/dems wouldn’t negotiate; HOUSE has SOLE power to SHUTDOWN GOVT—-FACT)
        =======================================

    • moe/larry & curly keys

      hey jimbo,,,,,,,,,,,,,, funny how U didn’t answer real_world_truth….
      serious alcoholism U have

      • Brad Lawrence McKee

        what the fuck does that even mean?

      • Dave

        It means you’re an alcoholic.

      • moe/larry & curly keys

        brads brilliance heavily on display again

      • moe/larry & curly keys

        wow– brad grasps easily read principles rather well; doesn’t he???
        ok lets try one easier for brat: what is one plus one?

  • Pam Paine

    Well, actually (and using correct grammar), we liberals *don’t know nothing*!
    We know many things!

  • Anne

    Respect our country is what the Indians said, of course the white is right and “god” is on our side did not respect them or their customs. There is NOT an official language in the US. Many of the dialects incorporate the language of their ancestral home lands. That’s right all except the American Indians immigrated from some where!

  • SarahD

    Honestly, I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve gotten this gem in a “debate” with a tea partier: “Your an idiot.” Really? Really? It might be funny, if it wasn’t so damn depressing.

    • Rick Stone

      LMAO… I always imagine the conversation going like this.

      MY an idiot?

      Yes, Y’are…

  • Veritas vos Liberabit

    They done done it butt this is knot there first time they tooken hour English language for granite. Old McDonald was a pour speller. The word is cow. “Cow, cow, c-o-w…e-i-e-i-o”…

  • Edward Krebbs

    Of course you realize that no God-fearin’, conservative, Amerikun is going to take their grammar advice from such a liberal page.

    Can I draw the parallel between “Facts have a liberal bias” and “Grammar has a liberal bias” ?

    • Dave

      But they do know how to play a banjo.

      • moe/larry & curly keys

        and pay that tax-free tithe!

  • T. Martin

    Another misuse is “then” vs. “than”….I’d rather be pissed off, than pissed on..

  • Tutie Munson

    I must add another and I don’t know how anyone can confuse the two. It’s of vs. have. I’ve seen so many comments with, ‘I should of’ rather than I should have or should’ve. But then again, I’m a filthy liberal with a bachelor’s degree who knows nothing.

    • Jeff McFall

      Wow, a whole bachelor’s degree? That must have been terrible spending 4 or 5 years getting up so you could get to your first class by 9:00 or 10:00 am and then having your last class of the day at 2:00 or 3:00 pm and then a few hours of homework or study before heading out for a night of partying until 2:00am. You really should take a break and live off of welfare for awhile and relax and get some free stuff. I love liberals with big pieces of paper on their wall that say they are smart yet have absolutely no common sense. Even better is the liberal with a masters in early European art history and they are pissed because the job recruiter at the high tech company will not hire them for a tech position and only offer them a spot on the factory floor pushing a button working for a guy who grew up rebuilding car motors and taking apart every electronic device he could find and has nothing more than a high school diploma. good thing that in the real world common sense is far more valuable than knowing the difference between “There” “Their”

      • Andy Millan

        You seem to have quite a chip on your shoulder Jeff, why get so steamed up about someone having a degree? could it be that you either failed to get a degree or were not motivated enough to go to university? Whatever the reason, it seems there are quite a lot of Republican voters who are anti-intellectual, which is strange since at one time in your country it was the goal of most to obtain a university education. My how things have changed, the colour green does not suit you Jeff.

      • Jeff McFall

        Not steamed at all Andy. I very happy with my education. I chose to serve this country in the military first and get my secondary education later. But am quite happy working for a very large high tech company in silicon valley. I own my own home on the peninsula and have a very good life. I just hate people who think that they are intellectuals because they have a piece of paper from a college that says they managed to pass a few tests and remember some facts. George Washington had the equivalent of a high school education, Ben Franklin also did not go to a university but I would certainly consider them intellectuals. Maybe you could site specifics as to which time in my country the goal of most Americans was to be college educated. I seem to have missed the study that showed that and on doing an internet search can’t find much of anything saying that there was a time when a majority of Americans wanted a college degree. I did however find this quote.

        Colonial Colleges

        “A college education is something that very few of our forefathers wanted or needed. As a matter of fact, most of them were unimpressed by degrees or a university accent. They judged men by their character and by their experience. Moreover, many of our founding ‘fathers, such as George Washington, Patrick Henry, and Ben Franklin, did quite well without a college education. Yet for those who so desired it, usually young men aspiring to enter the ministry, university training was available. Unlike England, where the government had given Cambridge and Oxford a monopoly on the granting of degrees,[16] there were nine colleges from which to choose.”
        Thanks for helping me prove my point. Your degree certainly does not make you intelligent, nor does your degree automatically make you an intellectual. You cite something with no proof to back it up thus making it a guess and not using any intellect to come up with your conclusions. You also assume that I have a chip on my shoulder without knowing me at all. Typical liberal, thinking they know everything. reminds me of the idiot liberal in “Good Will Hunting” who thought he was impressive regurgitating lines from books he had to read in college but could probably never come up with an original thought of his own. Have a great day Andy.

      • Dave

        What Jeff needs is to be shot or at least have whatever he uses to post stuck up his ass. He thinks people are going to actually read his boring lecture posts. Oh btw I have no respect for your military service but thanks for supporting my lifestyle. You failed. You didn’t catch the bullet like you were supposed to. I’m coming to break into your house then burn it down.

      • Brad Lawrence McKee

        yer an idiot.

      • Dave

        So is your mom but what’s that got to do with anything you worthless Nazi troll.

      • moe/larry & curly keys

        hes not a Nazi,,,,,,,
        tea party are not Nazis.
        Nazis had discipline and killer looking uniforms; were usually in excellent physical condition ( militarily) and Nazis loved women
        tea party? ” praise jeeeeeeesus”

      • Dave

        Come on Tegu, cut me some slack. You do have some points though. Like always, they pick and choose what they like. But sometimes man they do have some Nazi tendencies. Like they think they can take over everything, among other things.

      • moe/larry & curly keys

        im totally in agreement with ya’….was just de valuing the tea party scum even further

      • moe/larry & curly keys

        brat does have succinct comebacks doesn’t he????

      • moe/larry & curly keys

        would that also include scumbags who bitch at people who DO have an education— such as the way your insipid ass bitched at that person? ( maybe because it went against what your crybaby ass likes??? maybe???)
        I must NOT be a typical liberal as I certainly do NOT know everything— that’s why I read a lot and watch msnbc/FOX “news”? cnn/ pbs and cnbc( stocks& options reporting)
        ….unlike the white trash tea party scum who know ” just enough”

      • Scott

        Your assumptions are making an ass out of you.

      • moe/larry & curly keys

        hey F*CKFACE— I don’t have the “paper” on my wall; yet I am a rather accomplished self employed CHEF who has investments ( residential/commercial real estate and a nice stock & option portfolio for decades) coupled with a 100% cash business
        best part? Im willing to wager my 50K ( escrowed of course) VS your 5K ( if U can find that liquidity) for a state certified IQ test – you and I.
        I can also supremely attest to the indisputable FACT that proper language/spelling/syntax ET HOC GENUS OMNE will be a measure of whom a person is–
        so::::::::: ….. if some white trash regressive tea party ignorant religious crybaby wishes to be held in a regard equal to the other person in a discussion; THAT imbecilic regressive lachrymose should know BASIC knowledge of the language that all of those pseudo-religious ( see: VOODOO) decry the non whites in not speaking it well enough for said crybabies tastes.
        DONTCHA’ luv white trash who want Spanish or Asian or European people who live here to LEARN ENGLISH; yet the tea party ingnorants themselves cannot spell a word as difficult as “loser” which is transpositional to whom those rednecks actually are?
        before U send your bellicose and nugatory reply pleeeeeez let me know when we can do this test- I enjoy financially raping idiots such as you
        ,,,,,,,,,, and if that’s not “fair” maybe U can play me in basketball???
        (NOTE: Im Caucasian)

      • Megan

        sounds like someone is a little envious with a HUGE chip on THEIR shoulder. When you can offer solutions instead of insults – MAYBE we will listen to you – until then, take a deep breath and get out of your mother’s basement for some sunshine and fresh air!

      • 2Smart2bGOP

        Assume much? Oh, sure, you’re conservative.

    • moe/larry & curly keys

      what u know wont help white trash regressive tea party coelecanths anyway
      ………………… they need JEEEEESUS and SALVATION

  • Damon Arial

    If I hear one more teabagger call me a libtard “looser” I’m going to… I’m going to… correct them… again…

    • Dave

      Theyr’e stupid Nazis. Don’t worry about them. Theyr’e way too stupid to understand.

      • Jeff McFall

        But we are at least smarter than the stupid communists. Especially one who calls conservatives Nazis. You obviously must have been drinking your bong water in history class. Below is a quote that could possibly have come from a modern day progressive.

        “We ask that the government undertake the obligation above all of providing citizens with adequate opportunity for employment and earning a living. The activities of the individual must not be allowed to clash with the interests of the community, but must take place within its confines and be for the good of all. Therefore, we demand: … an end to the power of the financial interests. We demand profit sharing in big business. We demand a broad extension of care for the aged. We demand … the greatest possible consideration of small business in the purchases of national, state, and municipal governments. In order to make possible to every capable and industrious [citizen] the attainment of higher education and thus the achievement of a post of leadership, the government must provide an all-around enlargement of our entire system of public education … We demand the education at government expense of gifted children of poor parents … The government must undertake the improvement of public health – by protecting mother and child, by prohibiting child labor … by the greatest possible support for all clubs concerned with the physical education of youth. We combat the … materialistic spirit within and without us, and are convinced that a permanent recovery of our people can only proceed from within on the foundation of the common good before the individual good.”

        Unfortunately for you and proof that you are indeed an idiot is that the above is from the political program of the Nazi Party, adopted in Munich, February 24, 1920
        so it looks like libtards are not only communists and socialists but are also Nazis. But I’m sure you probably heard Chris Mathews or some other progressive idiot on CNN call conservatives Nazis and just decided to parrot what your handlers tell you to. By all means, please go on allowing others to think and speak for you. Thinking for yourself is apparently not a progressive idea. Why waste the energy when the government or a celebrity or a news person can do the thinking and you can just sit back and regurgitate what they say.

      • Dave

        Tea party Nazis with no brains also don’t know the difference between Communists and Nazis. Worse they feel the need to lecture people on what they perceive. When dealing with tea party fools, perception is not reality but tea party reality. What should be done is when tea party rallies take place us real Americans (democrats) should show up packing machine guns and wasting these worthless fucks. The revolution is coming and republicans will LOSE!

      • Mark G

        Those are good ideas. The bad ideas were hating Jews, Gays, Africans, Gypsies, etc…

      • 2Smart2bGOP

        Hey, here’s a thought; how about we all refrain from using terms like “nazi,” “communist,” “socialist,” “marxist,” etc., etc., etc., unless we actually UNDERSTAND what all those terms mean. They are not mutually inclusive.

  • Jo Clark

    One that I see a LOT is the misuse of the word “are” for “our”. Oh, gads, it makes me cringe.

    • Terry63

      Fine then I’ll just start using the letter “R” instead.
      But Seriously folk’s. I see the Republican party with a good chance to take the Senate in the mid terms. The problem is that they’re candidates are the same one’s who were making insane statements as Romney was running for office. Statemants about Rape and womens rights. They are un-electible. As are the Country Club Repubs. You know, The McConnell Types. They wont win. The Party must find candidates that will carry. IMOHO, Romney was the better candidate, he would have made a better President.

  • doc brown

    The GOP is a joke and the Tea Baggers are so blinded by hated and ignorance they don’t see the jokes on them.
    Doc

  • terry63

    Good Grammar is important Allen. It is however no replacement for common sense. The last two Presidents have been very bad for America. In a Capitalist society you must let incompetent Buisness fail. When we run in to bail out these Banks such as Wells Fargo, we send a very dangerous message, To big to fail? After the bail outs these people were giving They’re CEO’s Millions in bonus money. They laughed at you and I. Did your interest rate go down?
    On the other end of the spectrum lies a very dangerous problem. Uncertainty, no one will invest in a house of cards. The current administartion is like a 17 year old out to convert an old 8 day clock into a digital alarm clock. Its not going to work Allen and the old 8 day clock may not survive the surgery.

  • MLR

    Come on Allen, what are you smoking? You know damn well no regressive right-wing nut job is going to take grammar lessons from you. They don’t even think they have a problem, It’s called denial. Oh but they want to make English the official language. LMAO! I’m all for making those idiots pass an English test before putting it on a ballot for a vote.

  • J

    “Too” is NOT a synonym of “two”. It is a homophone. Synonym means it has the same meaning, which they don’t. “Too” and “also” are synonymous. “Too” and “too” are homophones. Homophone means it sounds the same. Check your grammar as well before you try to teach others.

    • J

      Correction: “too” and “two” are homophones.

  • sfwmson

    I don’t care for the southern, hill billy, in bred references in these comments. It’s not helpful. A lot of tea party members are older white Americans who are middle class.

  • littleblacksnake

    Don’t forget could of and would of instead of could’ve, would’ve, could have, or would have……and I only have a high school diploma.