Are You Ready for Some Washington Tea Party Football?

washington-tea-party-jokeSo the Washington R*dsk*ns (it’s a slur, and I refuse to write-out slurs and give them their power) were just informed that their sucky racist name is and has been disparaging to Native American people. Thus, they cannot hold exclusive use of the name for copyright reasons. It’s not exactly the end of Dan Snyder and his racist minions, but it does mark a death knell in his stranglehold on the term. But don’t worry, the Tea Party is petitioning Dan Snyder to change the name to the Washington Tea Party! Oooh-Whee!

We know how conservatives can get when they’re afraid of losing their privileges, right? They start fighting back with unreserved, outright bigoted reactionism. Take. for example, 2008. While the United States definitely had ingrained and institutional racism as a practical reality, most of us thought the outright, plainspoken racism of the 1950’s and 60’s was history. Some pundits, upon noticing the rise of the Black junior senator from Illinois, declared the nation to be “post-racial.” In hindsight, this was a bit rash to say the least. Yet rising out of the ashes of the death heap of burning, smoldering white hot white racism was the Tea Party.

More recently, the protestations of several First Nations tribes and persons have been reaching a wider audience. While many have not been silent before about the issue of the appropriation of their names and anti-Indian slurs being used as products before, now with Twitter and other social media platforms they’ve been more easily able to mobilize and get their message out. Whereas before Dan Snyder – the owner of the Washington football team – was able to manipulate data to say that Native Americans found his team’s name, its cheerleaders, and the mascot to be a sign of respect, now it’s getting harder to lie about that. This is especially becoming true since 1) a growing online and physical presence of Native American communities are standing up against what some call Native America Mascotry, and 2) it was indigenous Americans themselves who brought the case against Snyder’s team in the US Patent and Trademark Office. Their review board found that at least 30% of Native Americans have found the term to be offensive not just currently, but in all times of the trademarking of the name – which began in 1966.

Defenders of the slur, like the right-wing Constitutional Rights PAC, say that Native Americans and their allies here are being too sensitive and whining too much.. They are relying less and less on the lie that indigenous people find it honoring because there aren’t any people willing to back that up. So they blame it on over-reaching political correctness. But the Constitutional Rights PAC’s solution to this is… hilarious.

Sign the Petition to Urge Dan Snyder to Change the Name to “The Tea Party” to SHUT THE POLITICALLY CORRECT LEFT UP!

And the image they have for the Washington Tea Party mascot? The Don’t Tread on Me snake from the Gadsden flag. Because nothing says “conquering, rugged football team” like an animal that slithers on the ground all the time and whines about being stepped on.

Oh, they hope you’re offended. More to the point, they mad bro. They’re butt-hurt and they want you to be butt-hurt too. They even have the All-Caps like their hero Dan Snyder. Which is good; we’re finally making a noise on this issue in solidarity with Native people.

The makers of this petition seem to really think that changing the name to Tea Party and affiliating it with a dying political breed will infuriate liberals and the Left. I just think it’ll inspire Tea Party jokes.

Who’s gonna be their quarterback, Louie Gohmert? Can you imagine his audibles?
Sarah Palin was their star wide receiver, but she quit. She could do more for the team on her couch.
The John 3:16 guy’s signs will all be about Obama being a Secret Mooslim Kenyin.
The players will have concussions because no one figured how to properly secure a tricorder hat.
The defensive line can’t see out their side because of the hanging tea bags.
Oh, and if the Tea Party thought that liberals were mean to them before, wait till they hear what Eagles fans have to say.
Big loss this Sunday? That’s ok. Remember the first rule: Always blame the black guy.

(Got more? Share in the comments.)

But let’s talk about this political correctness, shall we? PC culture is often given a bad rap, usually thought of as being too soft and too sensitive, egg-shells kinda way to live. I argue that, at its best and as it should be, it’s about listening and about valuing how people want to identify themselves. That’s the definition of honoring someone – not telling them that you’re honoring them when they disagree. If, say, a Native American disagrees with a drunken white fan on whether or not a headdress and a painted face honors his own culture, guess who wins the debate? How can someone say he’s in any sense respecting the person he’s stealing from?

So they want to shut up “the politically correct left.” If they’re considering Harry Reid in “the Left,” well, he’s not a lefty in the least bit. I’m guessing they want to silence Native people. Which is old hand. Some day they’ll come to realize that. Oh, speaking of old hand, I guess this would all be full circle anyway. Remember the original Tea Party was a bunch of Anglo-Americans dressed up as Native Americans, causing havoc for their own economic gain and blaming it on the Natives. Yeah, good times, right?


When he’s not riding both his city’s public transit system and evil mayor, Jasdye teaches at a community college and writes about the intersection of equality and faith - with an occasional focus on Chicago - at the Left Cheek blog and on the Left Cheek: the Blog Facebook page. Check out more from Jasdye in his archives as well!


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