It’s been rumored that in order for new Republican members of Congress to be accepted into the clan, they must first pledge to propose a vote to repeal “Obamacare.”
But it appears Republicans have decided to take it up a notch…
In a joint statement released to the Associated Press, House Speaker John Boehner and Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell were quoted as saying, “We’ve heard the American people loud and clear, and they’ve said they aren’t tired of the inefficiencies of Congress. They support our hapless votes for bills that will never pass and it’s completely untrue that they’re dissatisfied with our job performance. How can the American people be unhappy with the job we’ve done, when we haven’t done anything? So in that tradition, and the only tradition Congressional Republicans have had since 2009, we plan to propose a Constitutional Amendment, which stands no chance at passing, that requires weekly votes to repeal the Constitutionally-upheld unconstitutional Obamacare!”
McConnell took it one step further, saying he promises no Republican Senator will filibuster this Amendment, because he’s only allowed to filibuster his own legislation once per year.
The press sought comments from Representative Paul Ryan, however he was busy writing a new fiscally conservative budget proposal which promises to balance the budget in the next 5 years, while spending $600 billion opposing abortion rights for women and investing another $200 billion on erectile dysfunction health coverage for male members of Congress.
When a reporter asked why they would push for a Constitutional Amendment which stands little chance at passing, Boehner laughed and said, “When has that stopped us in the last few years? What do you want—a jobs bill?” Then continued laughing while walking towards the mini-bar.
Oh, none of that was actually true. However, without this disclaimer, would you have really thought this was satire? I encourage you to share this with as many people as you can to see if others can tell the difference between actual Republican nonsense and satire—-because the way things are these days, I have a hard time doing so myself.
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