Here Are Some of the Most Ridiculous Things Ever Said About Same-Sex Marriage

cruz-same-sex-marriageTo say the right-wing freakout over the Supreme Court’s marriage ruling has been absurd would be an understatement. There are literally millions of people in this country who believe we’re about to experience “God’s wrath” for allowing gay Americans to marry the person they love – though I’ve yet to have any of these folks explain to me why God hasn’t unleashed any “wrath” on nation’s like France, Canada, Sweden, Brazil or the U.K. plus several others (20 total, including us) where gay marriage has already been legal. After all, it isn’t as if the United States is the only (or even close to the oldest) nation to be mostly comprised of Christians.


That being said, I thought I’d put a little collection together of both past and present comments some of these people have said about gay marriage and what will happen if it were ever to become legal – which it has.

Just in the last couple of days I’ve heard Mike Huckabee essentially say that the Supreme Court is some form of “imperial” force, Ted Cruz call Friday “one of the darkest 24 hours in U.S. history,” Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal say we need to essentially abolish the Supreme Court (otherwise known as the branch of our government that interprets our laws) and Rick Santorum said this ruling could “disrupt the foundation of the world.” Needless to say, the rhetoric from the right has been insane, ridiculous and completely illogical.

But the “predictions” of some of these folks as to what is going to supposedly transpire now that gay Americans can legally get married (though some Southern states are doing everything they can to delay the inevitable) is some of the most asinine nonsense I’ve ever heard.

Take for instance a couple of months ago when Huckabee did a video from a mountain proclaiming, if he had to, he would go to that mountain and call down fire from Heaven to destroy “false prophets.” Yes, that’s a GOP presidential candidate saying he believes he has the power to call down God’s wrath whenever he wants to slaughter anyone with which he disagrees. Well, marriage equality is now legal so to Mr. Huckabee I just have two words for you – bring it.

Huckabee also went on to claim that gay marriage will turn Christians into criminals, although I’ve yet to hear him specify exactly how two loving adults getting married could possibly land a Christian in jail. Unless, of course, he means those Christians who will be looking to find any way they can to circumvent the rights of gay Americans, even if it means they break the law in the process.

But let’s not forget about Glenn Beck who has said several insane things about gay marriage in the last few weeks. Recently not only has he said that 10,000 pastors are willing to die to oppose marriage equality, but he’s compared himself to Martin Luther King, Jr., and has suggested that because of some of his rhetoric the government is planning to come and silence him. Yeah, whatever you say Glenn.

Then there’s Ted Cruz who claimed that legalizing same-sex marriage was a threat to American liberty. Sure, I can see that. That is, if you have no idea what the word “liberty” actually means. I’ve never quite had the ability to understand how people feel being able to deny millions of Americans the right to something is “freedom” or “liberty.” That’s essentially the definition of oppression.


Oh, then there was this Republican from Illinois who literally blamed autism, tornadoes and AIDS on gay rights – during a debate. 

Then there was Republican Rep. Bill Flores who blamed the rioting that went on in Baltimore on gay marriage.

Back in 2013 a North Carolina a state senator said that both “Obamacare” and gay marriage are deadlier than Nazis and terrorists. I’m not sure what’s worse, the fact he said this or that I’m sure millions of conservatives actually agree with him.

The Heritage Foundation, one of the most powerful conservative groups in the country, claimed that same-sex marriage would lead to more abortions. No, seriously… that’s what they said.

And these are just a few that we’ve covered. I can’t even keep track of the more “fringe” folks who I’ve seen claim things like same-sex marriage will lead to bestiality or the second coming of “Noah’s flood.”

Meanwhile, the reality is that same-sex marriage has been legal in many states for years already. I can guarantee you that nobody can cite a single rational example where these legal gay marriages have had any impact on their lives, aside from their own choice to obsess over denying Americans the rights owed to them under the Constitution. Seriously, I think some of these people actually do lose sleep over knowing that gay people are getting married, and it wouldn’t surprise me if they dream about gay sex with how much they obsess over talking about it.

It’s like I said on Twitter the other day, “Legalized marriage equality marks the day when millions of conservatives freak out over something that won’t have any impact on their lives.” Unless they let it. 

And when you get right down to it, that pretty much sums up all of this asinine rhetoric coming from people who really just need to mind their own damn business.



Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.

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  • Michael Siever

    Here’s a guy that Forward Progressives needs to take note of: Austin City Councilman Don Zimmerman. He basically compared same-sex marriage to pedophilia. You would expect this attitude from a City Councilmember from Ft. Worth or Phoenix, but certainly not Austin.

    • Rene Markham

      That’s right, Austin is definantly not all republican right wing. Oh yeah, I’ve heard all the propaganda about same-sex marriage equaliting it to pedophiles, bestiality, polygamy and such. Just right wing showing its dark ages caveman mentality.

  • Jerry Krause

    I agree with Presidential candidate Mike
    Huckabee’s prediction that Christians will push back against gay marriage in a
    similar way to Dr. Martin Luther King’s fight against racial discrimination. “They either are going to follow God, their conscience
    and what they truly believe is what the scripture teaches them, or they will
    follow civil law,” Huckabee said. “They will go the path of Dr. Martin Luther
    King, who in his brilliant essay the letters from a Birmingham
    jail reminded us, based on what St.
    Augustine said, that an unjust law is no law at all.
    And I do think that we’re going to see a lot of pastors who will have to make
    this tough decision,” he continued.