So I Wondered to Myself, What Might “Republican Jesus” Say at a Conservative Rally?

jesus-republicanOften in this country, conservatives mix their politics with their religion.  In fact, I’ve said in doing so they’ve actually created something that’s not a political party and it’s not Christianity.  I call it “Republicanity.”

They seem to believe that going to church, believing in God and saying you worship Jesus Christ suddenly makes you a Christian.

But to be a Christian means you believe that Jesus Christ was the son of God, and logic would then dictate you would attempt to live your life according to his teachings.

However, looking at the policies these people support and the political stances they take, “Republican Jesus” seems to be a character from the Bible for which I am not familiar.

The Jesus I’ve learned about throughout my life was a man who stood against greed.  He was someone who helped the helpless, cared for the sick and needy and didn’t judge others.  He taught compassion, forgiveness, love, hope, giving and kindness.  He spoke out against those who manipulate God for their own selfish purposes and never once spoke about abortion or homosexuality.

So, I started to wonder, what’s “Republican Jesus” like?  What would he say at one of their conservative rallies?

Being that the version of Jesus Christ I’ve read and learned about throughout my lifetime as a Christian doesn’t reflect Republican ideology, I can only conclude Republicans have created their own form of “Republican Jesus.”

And in examining Republican ideology, I’ve decided to give my take on what “Republican Jesus” might say if he spoke at some kind of conservative rally.

The crowd would be gathered, in unbelievable anticipation awaiting “Republican Jesus” and his message.  There’s random chatter heard throughout the crowd when suddenly the lights dim and the crowd knows his appearance is imminent.

Suddenly someone walks from the right of the stage.  A caucasian man dressed in a suit and tie, with a neatly trimmed beard.  He confidently walks towards the microphone and stands there for a moment, allowing those in attendance to gaze upon him.

The crowd is mostly silent, in awe of who they see.

Suddenly he begins to speak:

My fellow Americans, I thank you for coming today.  I am delighted to see so many patriots show up to hear my message of freedom and liberty.

So many patriots who know this country is a Christian nation.  I know you will carry my words beyond these walls and use them against the freedom-hating, anti-Christian liberal heathens.

I praise all you great Americans who know that while we must help each other, we must only help those who would first help themselves.  We must only provide for those who we feel are worthy and judge those we feel are not.

Most of those who are poor in this country are that way because of their own lazy, sinful lifestyle.  We owe it to them to judge them harshly for their choices in life and to say loudly and proudly, “You need to take care of yourself, it is not our responsibility!”  Only then will they finally take responsibly for themselves.

We must stand against those who would defile the sanctity of marriage.  I encourage all of you now to take a moment to pray that those who’ve chosen to live a sinful life of homosexuality might one day be embraced by God, instead of sent to an eternal suffering in the pits of hell.  Only prayer can help these people change.

As Americans we must pray for help, but we must also know the best form of protection is an assault rifle.  Peace, while honorable, is often unattainable when confronted with true evil.  We must only look to ourselves and realize the best choice we can make for safety lies with gun ownership.  For those who say guns are the problem, I say those people are the problem.  I’ve never seen an innocent gun suddenly murder anyone, but I have seen an evil person use an innocent gun to do that very act.  And for those who say, “Well without guns these evil people wouldn’t have the tools to commit their heinous acts”—yes they would.  A spoon is every bit as dangerous as a gun in the wrong hands.

It’s those who wish to have this country turn into a fascist dictatorship, where citizens are unable to defend themselves because their guns have been taken from them.  Those would rather criminals be the only ones armed—they’re the ones pushing for these radical gun regulations like universal background checks.

And those who believe humans cause climate change, what fools.  My father, God, controls the weather and uses it as a tool to punish those who would go against His word.  No, I will not take questions as to why then are so many great American conservative states stricken by such horrific weather while so many non-Christian nations enjoy great weather.  How dare anyone question me.

To those who support the horrific act of abortion, judgement will come for you and your choices.  While it is not society’s responsibility to help you take care of your child if it were to go hungry after it was born, it is society’s responsibility to see that you have that baby.  Your health and the circumstances which brought you to the pregnancy are of no concern—once you’re pregnant, the baby is the only thing that matters as it is a gift from God.

While some God-hating individuals might say the First Amendment gives freedom of, or from religion, they’re obviously doing Satan’s work.  The First Amendment gives Americans the freedom to pick which denomination of Christianity they want to practice.  It does no give anyone the right to be non-religious and it sure doesn’t give people the right to practice godless faiths like Islam.

This country was not founded by Muslims nor will we allow this great freedom loving nation to be taken over by Sharia law!

It was founded by Christians who believed in freedom and liberty for all.  Except women, Native Americans and blacks—God obviously did not make them equal.

Human rights are only given to us by Christian rights!  We must fear all those who would threaten our rights as Christian Americans and rise up against them, with hostility and aggression if need be, to let them know that in this country—God rules!

I say to you now, greed shouldn’t be seen negatively.  It just shows how hard someone has worked.  We must value material possessions over good deeds.  We must work only for ourselves, because giving too much leads to people relying on our charity.

We can not let gays, filthy liberals, Muslims, godless women and others who seek to destroy this nation perpetuate this belief that taking care of the poor, sick and needy is important.  These actions are not important, they make us weak!  That money could go to build bigger bombs and missiles for our underfunded military.

Health care is not a right and education is just the liberal way to take you away from God.  Science is especially evil as it is a tool used by the evil liberal to justify why they are godless.

We proud, free Christian Americans, must take this country back from those who would weaken it with their talk of equality, acceptance, love and compassion.  These are words of the devil!  These are words that weaken us!  These are words that will take this great nation to peril!

Let’s rise and take our country back from these godless, freedom hating liberals!

At that moment he walks away from the microphone and begins to stand, arms lifted above his head, to gaze at the loud applause he’s given as he finished his speech.

Those in attendance are moved to loud cheers, some to tears, and most are standing in awe of what they just heard.

Loud chants of “Jesus! Jesus!” are heard while others shout “Amen! Thank you Jesus!”

After a few minutes, he walks off stage.

Is this a little over the top of what I feel “Republican Jesus” would say?  Honestly, not really.  I’ve been to a couple of tea party rallies.  I’ve heard the racism, the hate, the fear, the paranoia of these so-called “Christians.”

So if this offends some, I don’t know what to tell you.

Cognitive dissonance is a powerful condition I guess.

Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.

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  • Melissa Lawler

    This is exactly how the Christian Right sees Jesus. Scary as hell.

    • KeVin K.

      Imagine actually being a Christian and having to deal with this manipulative political nonsense.

      • Melissa Lawler

        It’s scary enough being a Jew and dealing with it. 😉

  • langranny

    I think you hit the nail on the head. This is truly the Jesus they worship…

    • DownriverDem

      Yep, they don’t follow the Prince of Peace or The Sermon on the Mount.

    • dploof

      If it is, then logically the Democrats don’t follow Jesus either. If you believe in abortion and same sex marriage, you can’t follow Him either.

      • XCellKen

        Jesus’ Dad was cool with killing entire nations, including all of the babies

      • dploof

        Many think that too…because they have not read the Bible.

      • XCellKen

        Please provide the link where Gawd says he is anti abortion pro life. Then I’ll post several links where Gwad tells the Jews to kill entire villages of children and babies

      • dploof

        GOD KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT US, DOWN TO THE MOST INTIMATE, INNUMERABLE DETAILS.

        “Even all the hairs of your head are counted.” – Matthew 10:30

        GOD MADE US, WE ARE HIS, NOT OUR OWN.

        “Thus says the LORD who made you, your help, who formed you from the womb.” – Isaiah 44:2

        GOD CREATES AND FORMS EVERY CHILD WITH A VOCATION, A “PLAN.”

        “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I dedicated you, a prophet to the nations I appointed you.” – Jeremiah 1:5

        GOD’S PLAN FOR US TO DO GOOD AND TO BE HOLY.

        “For we are his handiwork, created in Christ Jesus for the good works that God has prepared in advance, that we should live in them.” – Ephesians 2:10

        GOD IS ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT US, WE ARE ALWAYS ON HIS MIND.

        “See, upon the palms of my hands I have written your name.” – Isaiah 49:16

        GOD’S WILL IS LIFE AND HIS DESIRE IS FOR US TO LIVE.

        “…because he did not dispatch me in the womb! Then my mother would have been my grave, her womb confining me forever.” – Jeremiah 20:17

        CONCEPTION IS A SCIENTIFIC FACT, BUT WRAPPED IN A CELESTIAL MYSTERY, WHICH IS GOD.

        “Just as you know not how the breath of life fashions the human frame in the mother’s womb, so you know not the work of God which he is accomplishing in the universe.” – Ecclesiastes 11:5

        IT WAS PREDICTED AND PROPHESIED THAT PEOPLE WOULD MISTREAT BABIES.

        “The fruit of the womb they shall not spare, nor shall they have eyes of pity for children.” – Isaiah 13:18

        GOD SPEAKS OUT FOR THE RIGHTS OF THOSE UNABLE TO SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES.

        “Your strength is not in numbers…you are the God of the lowly, the helper of the oppressed, the supporter of the weak, the protector of the forsaken, the savior of those without hope.” – Judith 9:11

      • XCellKen

        If God knows everything then why did he have to “test” Abraham ???

        My parents made me during the first week of March, 1960

        That passage talks about one specific person. It does not say “Thou shall not have abortions. Abortions were common in the ancient world, yet no where in the Bible is it expressly forbidden

        If you were ignorant on the very basic facts of Biology, conception would not be a mystery to you

        God speaks out for the rights of those unable to speak for themselves: !1 Samuel 15-3: “3 Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass.” But don’t let their women have abortions before you smite them all LOLOLOL

      • dploof

        God tests us because we need it to grow.

        Again, you are in a world of hurt to want children hurt.

      • XCellKen

        I do NOT want to hurt children. You are the biggest religitard loser fuckface if you think that Fuck you and your evil Gawd. If your stupid Gawd is all knowing, why does he need to test us? because he’s fucking non existent . But then I still have to put up with his retarded followers. Fuck you, and fuck off

      • XCellKen

        So if your Gawd told you to kill your kid, you’d do it? And you have the temerity and utter gall to say I hate children? Your Gawd is the most evil piece fo shit in the entire universe. Fuck him. I would NOT kill a child if he told me to, You, on the other hand would, cause your a mind blowing fucking retard

      • KeVin K.

        There is a tradition in most churches to use King James vocabulary even when the KJV is not the church’s primary text. Problem is that vocabulary was current in 1611; English is a living language and the meanings of words shift over time. Ever hear the expression “It’s the exception that proves the rule.”? Sounds like nonsense until you realize that up until a couple of hundred years ago “prove” meant “challenge.” The expression really means: “An exception to a rule challenges that rule’s validity.” In the same way a few hundred years ago “fear” mean recognize and submit to authority. “God fearing” means “recognizing God’s authority and agreeing to live by his rules.” “Test” meant “hone” or “refine” – God was honing Abraham, refining him, preparing him for the task ahead.
        To say the people who worship an omniscient God would by definition be themselves omniscient is nonsense. Is the fact a one-year-old child can’t read proof her parents can’t read?
        God used language and symbols the primitive Semites could understand. He didn’t correct their misconceptions about biology for the same reason he didn’t explain the steam engine or warn them not to pay retail for timeshares – they wouldn’t understand what he was talking about and the information would be useless to a group of nomads in a harsh land trying to get the hang of agriculture while surrounded by enemies who would crush them given the chance.

      • XCellKen

        Let’s use Occams razor. Either Gawd didn’t tell the Semites about the steam engine, etc, cause they wouldn’t understand it, or the Bible was written by semi illiterate nomadic Bronze Age desert dwellers. Now really, which seems more likely ???

      • XCellKen

        ” To say the people who worship an omniscient God would by definition be themselves omniscient is nonsense” Nice Straw Man. When did I say that. I said your stupid freaking retard Gawd is not omniscient if he must “test” people. Doesn’t he already know the answer?

      • XCellKen

        If Gawd asked you to kill your kid to prove a point, would you? You’re such a theist tard, you probably would

      • XCellKen

        Please provide non theist sources which back up your claims about Biblical language. What you’re spouting sounds like nothing more than Xian Apologetics

      • XCellKen

        The majority of fertilized eggs fail to attach to the womb. That means that YOUR GAWD, who designed everything in the Universe, wants it that way. Therefore, YOUR GAWD is the biggest abortionist in the Universe !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • dploof

        God bless you dude. You must be in a world of hurt to hate babies so much. There is nothing I can say to you to heal you.

      • XCellKen

        Up your asshole, poof. YOUR GAWD is the one killing babies, not me. You religitards are beyond idiotic

      • Spaceman Spiff

        If God knows everything, then He knows whether any particular individual will be able to carry out the plan/vocation for which s/he has been created or will be aborted prior to being born or will die in some manner afterwards and what manner that will be.

        So it seems there are three options:
        1) That God’s “plan” for some will of necessity be to be aborted or to die in some other manner and what manner that will be,

        2) That God is not omniscient, or

        3) That God enjoys wasting time coming up with plans/vocations that He knows will never be fulfilled.

        Even in spite of the whole “free will” argument, God knows what someone is going to do before s/he does it, right? I mean, that’s what omniscience is. So that would have to figure into His “plan” for each of us. It must therefore be the “plan” for some to be aborted and some to die in other ways. Either that or he’s just wasting his time.

  • Mbagrad02

    Republican Jesus has poor grammar ( society’s not “societies”)

    • GrammarNazi

      “society’s” means “belonging to society”

      “societies” means “more that one society”

      I don’t see an instance where Republican Jesus misused it.

      • Mbagrad02

        Grammar Nazi,
        You don’t see it because after I posted the reference to it Republican Jesus properly corrected it from “societies” to the proper form of the possessive “society’s”.

      • MyStory Revealed

        Sounds like the miracle of Spell Check!

    • cementbrunette

      He also writes “can not” instead of “cannot.” But overall, very decent grammar and diction from Republican Jesus. We don’t see very much of that with Republicans. #murica

    • Koda Karr

      Mbagrad02, Republican Jesus has poor *syntax*, not grammar. Grammar conveys meaning. Syntax refers to mechanics, spelling, and left-to-right ordering of words.

      • ninja

        Wrong.

      • Mbagrad02

        Using the plural form of society when the singular possessive form (society’s) is required is indeed a grammar issue and not a syntax error. Syntax is using there instead of their.

    • Bobbi P.

      How dare you! Republican Jesus is omnipotent. Nothing He says is to be questioned or criticized. His word is without error.

  • bretttaylor

    though i am not too sure this picture of jesus is white looking enough. christians have always skewed the word of god to fit their own bigotry and hate. if you know anyting about the inquisition, a lot of the burnings where under the guise of saving a soul, but most of the time it was for stealing someone’s property.

  • Rusti

    Unfortunately, I can believe this. For the past several years, probably about the time of the Falwell/Reagan “love affair”, I’ve felt that the ultra-Conservatives dismantled God and then reconfigured Him in their own likeness. That being said, Jesus would necessarily change to fit the mold. This Jesus fits perfectly with the “new” Republicanity.

    • KeVin K.

      Oh, no. The movement you’re describing is fundamentalism. Every religion has them. Fundamentalists are people who want to force everyone around them to recognize their superiority and conform to their order. Religion is the hammer they use to beat others into shape. You’d be hard pressed to find find a fundamentalist in any religion – Christianity, Islam, Hinduism – who actually honors the precepts of the faith they espouse. Christ has nothing to do with the radical right, just as they have nothing to do with him.

  • Louis Lamoureux

    Blessed are the rich for they shall provide jobs for the poor.

    • dploof

      God bless you.

    • KBW

      But only if you give them enough tax cuts.

  • Ian

    Congratulations Allen, you have just written Paul Ryan’s 2016 stump speech for him.

  • 1JudgeNotLestYeBeJudged1

    Self-righteous people won’t “get” this article, unfortunately. The “Dumbing-Down of Americans” is complete. Based on the activities these last 15 years, (or back to Ron Ray-guns) of our uneducated or anti-intelligent, unethical, self-serving, self-righteous, testosterone-charged manly men or Bible carrying puritan “Christian” male-dominated women legislators, and with the help of the subterfuge fed to us by independently owned and operated super rich sources of news (the MSM or main stream media) who spew hate, doom and gloom, and who to blame our state of affairs all on the victims, (under-served, disenfranchised, beaten-down, unemployed, underemployed) the 99% of us, and are the ones who instruct our legislators on how to oppress –we find ourselves here. You would think that with the amount of student debt held by many Americans, these characters wouldn’t have any say in an educated, sophisticated, progressive American society. What the heck? I still say our elections are rigged by the GOP!

    • ninja

      Why are you so judgemental?

  • Thats a nice picture of Cesare Borgia you have at the top.

  • Mongo

    Great piece, but for God’s sake, and your readers, proofread and correct it though, it loses impact with the errors. — “For those who say guns are the problem, I say they /aren’t/ the problem. ” —And for those who ask the question, “Well without guns these evil people wouldn’t have the tools to commit their heinous acts”, —umm, not a question. Step back, re-read, tune, and re-post, this is magnificent in concept!

    • Bad Kitty of the North

      I think he meant, “”For those who say guns are the problem, I say they (the people saying guns are the problem) are the problem.” You’re right on the question, though.

    • GL

      As if Republican Jesus would care about any mistakes he makes. You have to remember, this is the Ultimate in Republican Holier-Than-All-Thou we’re thought-experimenting.

    • dploof

      Guns are not the problem. More people are killed in car accidents. Should be ban cars?

      • LittleD

        Not even close to the same thing. Guns have one purpose; to cause some kind of harm. A car’s purpose is to get you from point A to point B. Accident’s happen with cars, but you can’t drive a gun anywhere. Apples and oranges.

  • William Mundell

    You left out the reception dinner afterwards where they dined on blue fin tuna with gourmet wines and breads at 500 dollars a plate as donations to Republican Jesus’s Super Pac.

    • YouKnowMe

      Yeah, that loaves and fishes thing, you don’t just bring that out anytime, anywhere.

    • Jim Wiggin

      And then departed in their parking lot full of Hummers.

  • KeVin K.

    I’ve been a Christian for nearly forty years and an ordained minister for twenty. The command to all Christians is to do good works (Eph. 2:10) and to live our lives in such a way that even those who hate us will see God’s love working through us and glorify God (1Pet 2:12). Christ himself specifically forbids us to judge others on two occasions (Matt 7:1 & Luke 6:37) and citing every instance of his repeated commands to not just accept or respect but to love everyone and to care for those less fortunate would fill this column. The only time Christ used violence was clearing those who would profit from religion out of his father’s temple – turning over their tables, scattering their money (in a courtyard crowded with poor), and driving away the animals they’d brought to sell at a profit as sacrifices (John 2:13-16). There are only two capitalists in all the New Testament, Ananias & his wife Sapphira; they were condemned for keeping money that could have been used to help the poor and struck dead by the Holy Spirit for their crime (Acts 4:32 – Acts 5:10). However, the ultra-conservatives who created “Republican Jesus” are no surprise to God. Nearly two thousand years ago he used the former tax collector Matthew Levi to tell them exactly what was going to happen to them as a result (Matt 25:31-46).

    • YouKnowMe

      Thank you, Kevin, that’s a very concise and useful set of quotes.

    • dploof

      OK. I agree. But what about Romans? What about Jeremiah? You can’t separate Jesus from God and the Holy Spirit. To say Jesus says nothing about abortion is saying neither does God. To say Jesus says nothing about same sex attraction is saying neither does God. Either the Bible is the inspired Word of God or not.

      Which?

      • XCellKen

        NOT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • dploof

        OK. You don’t believe the Bible is the inspired Word of God.

        Then you don’t know what Jesus said or didn’t say.

      • XCellKen

        I don’t believe Spider Man was the Son of Gawd either, but I know what he said CAUSE I READ HIS COMIC BOOKS. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • FrugalFreak

        Many commentators and authors here are Christ haters and use Christians and the doctrine as a tool as ends to means to push a particular message that serves them. That would be like using the Constitution as anti-freedom for what is lacking in it or it doesn’t outright state but although implied. I take anything said here with a grain of salt because the haters here is very evident as with the other side. Not all Democrats are religion haters and don’t approve of this party being a platform for a few.

      • KeVin K.

        In general the New Testament is the fulfillment of the Old. The need for the rules of conduct laid out has been obviated by Christ’s sacrifice.There is nothing we can do that will equal that. Now the good works that were prepared in advance for us to do are not defined by clean and unclean or any consideration of what might elevate us or give us advantage. They are not tasks we undertake because we fear the consequences of not doing so. They are acts of
        gratitude for our eternal good fortune, for our state of grace. We are to minister to others in love, esteeming everyone – including unbelievers – more valuable than ourselves. We are to care for the poor and afflicted through practical, useful, beneficial acts.
        We are admonished to avoid trying to convince others of our
        point of view through arguments which are foolish and futile. We are explicitly commanded to never judge others and forbidden to impose our values on unbelievers. Consider Christ’s words as recorded by Luke in Luke 6:27- 43, particularly verses 37 & 38, when tempted to judge others.

        More importantly, remember that every law, every commandment is predicated upon and subordinate to two fundamental principles. As recorded in Matthew 22:34-40, Jesus said: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart
        and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. The second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (NIV)

        If there are specific verses of scripture you feel, taken in context, contradict, negate, supersede, refute, or otherwise lead you to believe Christ was mistaken or misunderstood here, please share them with me.

      • dploof

        How about…..20Ever since the creation of the world, his invisible attributes of eternal power and divinity have been able to be understood and perceived in what he has made. As a result, they have no excuse;21for although they knew God they did not accord him glory as God or give him thanks. Instead, they became vain in their reasoning, and their senseless minds were darkened.22While claiming to be wise, they became fools23and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for the likeness of an image of mortal man or of birds or of four-legged animals or of snakes.24Therefore, God handed them over to impurity through the lusts of their hearts 15 for the mutual degradation of their bodies.25They exchanged the truth of God for a lie and revered and worshiped the creature rather than the creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.26Therefore, God handed them over to degrading passions. Their females exchanged natural relations for unnatural,27and the males likewise gave up natural relations with females and burned with lust for one another. Males did shameful things with males and thus received in their own persons the due penalty for their perversity.28And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God handed them over to their undiscerning mind to do what is improper.29They are filled with every form of wickedness, evil, greed, and malice; full of envy, murder, rivalry, treachery, and spite. They are gossips30and scandalmongers and they hate God. They are insolent, haughty, boastful, ingenious in their wickedness, and rebellious toward their parents.31They are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless.32Although they know the just decree of God that all who practice such things deserve death, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.
        Seem pretty clear God doesn’t like same sex sexual relations.

      • regressive teaparty trash

        which god??? JESUS never said anything harsh about it
        ====================================
        then again,,,,,,jesus is NOT “god”

      • regressive teaparty trash

        I wish I could get U on FOX “news” or any of these regressive rightwing talk show hosts shows

      • David_LloydJones

        The various Bibles are all collections of books selected by batting caucuses over the centuries.

        I guess anyone can get inspired, so I’m not going to argue with that one. I do remind you, however, that one of the best definitions of blasphemy is “attributing the works of man to God.”

        -dlj.

      • Bill Demerath-Shanti

        You do not have to believe the Bible is THE Word of God to be a Christian. An in depth study of its history will show that it cannot possibly be so unless God is prone to continual changes of his mind (helpful to those it was copied for if not those who copied it) and very confused individuality. I believe much is inspired, but the prophets also spoke of a change in human nature which would result in knowing God’s will -having the law in our hearts- without needing an external law. That prophesy applied to all people, not just “Christians” (who did not exist at the time) or Jews. Therefore no one would need to say,

        ‘Know the Lord” for they shall all have the knowledge of God in their hearts. -I believe this is paraphrased from Isaiah, but any one who believes the Bible is really THE Word of God ought to have a concordance to look it up. If humans are created in God’s image, we ought to respect all as that image. And the image can teach us all we need to know of how to act on that gift of love in our hearts toward all God’s creation. That gift has to be stifled in us before we can begin to listen to the Republican Jesus offered above.

  • Joseph Emerson

    “The First Amendment gives Americans the freedom to pick which denomination of Christianity they want to practice.”

    Republican Jesus forgot to say as long as it is a God-Fearing, King James Bible, Tongue Speaking believing Fundamentalist church.

    • ninja

      I’m going to be footing the bill for your healthcare you overweight careless pig.

      • Stokes

        I’m assuming you are being sarcastic. If not I feel sorry for you.

      • LittleD

        Wow. What a very Christian-like thing to say…

  • gatorfan

    So basically what you’re saying is Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, Michael Savage, and Rush Limbaugh are all Republican Jesus?

  • Chase

    While this was profound and I could see a lot of correlation with the Republican political sphere, I want to encourage everyone to not take a judgmental position towards those who disagree with us (even in very harsh ways). We are all fallen creatures and, tainted by sin, not one of us is greater than another. Christ’s message was to love your enemies. One of the best ways we can do this is by trying to turn the tables, and looking at the crowd of republicans through Jesus’s eyes. The real Jesus’s eyes. I’m sure he would treat them with the same compassion he would treat someone who had been hurt by them. If we really want to walk in the Way, I think that’s where we need to start.

    • ninja

      Interesting

  • Baba Blacksheep

    I agree with all except with the assertion that you have to believe Jesus was the son of God if you are a Christian, a follower of the teachings of jesus Christ. I believe in Jesus the man and all the goodness he stood for, but I do not believe he was the son of god any more than any other man is. By saying he is, is to buy into organized religion hype and control, and especially paganism.

    • Linda Devendorf

      I SO agree with you! I’ve thought of myself as a “Jesusian,” without all the Christianity dogma and creeds.

      • KBW

        This is not for the religious, so please, look away now, I am not writing this to debate any of you, this is informational soley for Baba and Linda. I won’t entertain religious attacks. Not everything is everyone’s business just because it’s written in public. Please respect that.

        Linda and Baba, then steer yourselves toward Humanism. Humanism is secular (non-religious), but the “beliefs” are the “golden rules.” Essentially, for Humanists, the afterlife – and the debate if there is/isn’t are/aren’t deities (gods, etc.) – is a moot point, Humanists don’t care, because the focus is on the here and now. Be a good person now, be kind to others, gentle to the Earth and the plants and animals with whom we share it, be helpful and humble, etc., while we are all living, because it’s the humane way to be. All we truly KNOW is what we are living now, everything else is a guess, regardless what religious people think they know. Religious people mold their actions to fit the parameters of what they want in the afterlife. A Humanist has no time to dabble in unknowns, when there is so much need in what is known.

        The Hindu have the concept of Dharma, which is that there are universal morals – such as, that cold-blooded murder is wrong, that giving is good, that rape is an abomination,etc. – those aren’t religious principles, even other species hold some of those values, let alone humans. But what happens after we die, Humanists don’t have to agree on that, and it’s best not to even think about it.

    • dploof

      Then you are not Christian.

      But that’s where you are. You don’t think Christ is God. So research it and find out why others believe He is…

  • bailey78

    That was a great read. I have seen many that think that way. They are ignorant and scared people. They are sheeple

  • Rickey Miller

    That was pretty good.

  • MiniMax

    Christianists have never been about the teachings of Jesus, only his miraculous birth and death as told by a bunch of preachers 300 years after he was dead.

  • Jim

    How can you even compare politics and Jesus? I am astounded by some of the stupid comments made on this post. So let me ask you this. Do you all really think that Dems are any better than Reps? They are all the same greedy corrupt individuals. You really think the Dems have our best interests in mind when they booed God three times in a speech. How about when they try to take away our guns, or push this train wreck of a health care system down our throats, especially when they have all opt of it. I see a comment about sheeple, and the dumbing down of America, and I would say this applies to a lot of the comments on here

    • ninja

      Obviously.

    • Stokes

      Take a look in the mirror. No one is trying to take away anyone’s guns. ACA is working for those who are willing to give it a chance instead of believing everything they hear on Fox News. The real news is available, don’t take what you hear for granted check the facts, do a little research you might be surprised by what you find.

    • dploof

      Boy, I’m really starting to like you! Thank you! The first real response based on reality!

    • MyStory Revealed

      I think the whole point here is that the Republicans, overwhelmingly and in broad daylight, so I don’t know how you’ve missed it, are using Jesus, God and the Christian religion at every available opportunity to push their political agenda. There are corrupt politicians on both sides of the aisle, corrupted by a system (Greed) that requires that they raise exorbitant amounts of money to hold onto their office-making them beholden to monied interests. I have never heard Democrats, individually or in concert, working to foist Christianity into politics. Do some reading, its abundantly available, about how our founding fathers were vehemently against this. I just read an article containing 35 specific quotes from founding fathers to this effect. This country was NOT founded on Christianity, no matter how hard to Republicans try to make it so. I am an Independent, before you go assuming I’m an apologist for the Dems. I am not, by any stretch.

    • KeVin K.

      To second MyStory’s point: I have no illusions the Dems are substantially different from the Repubs in terms of spiritual righteousness.
      What frosts me is the political apparatchiks of the far right cynically hijacking my faith to forward their personal agendas. Agendas demonstrably opposed at every level to the precepts and teachings – indeed the core fundamental values – of my faith.
      The majority of the “founding fathers” – of average 18th century Americans, in fact – were Deists. They believed God created the world, set it in motion, then sat back to see what we would do with it. Sin, salvation, etc., are all human constructs – unrelated to the creator God from the Deist perspective. When Thomas Jefferson wrote “I have sworn on the altar of God eternal hostility toward any tyranny over the mind of man” the specific “tyranny” to which he referred by name elsewhere in the letter was the organized Christian church. Because those who would impose their will on others have been using organized religions (of all types) as a hammer since before recorded history.

  • phydeaux

    the man you describe is the same man they describe as the anti-christ in the ‘left behind series’. he is said to weave a spell on the masses to make them believe that he is their savior. they, the christian right, say that the first sign of the second coming is peace in israel but i would say the first piece of the puzzle is already in place

  • march2

    I have looked at all the Republicans and Tea Party men who are coming out so strongly against the President. I say get all of them in a room with the president & have all the men face each other including the president; then have them dropped their pants and underwear and measure it. Then I think all the problems will be over.

  • Terry colby

    “In the beginning God created man in His own image, and man has been trying to repay the favor ever since.” – Anonymous

  • djulien

    Reminds me of Stephen Colbert’s 2006 speech at the White House correspondents dinner where he said:
    “Though I am a committed Christian, I believe that everyone has the right to their own religion, be you Hindu, Jew or Muslim. I believe there are infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior.”

  • Ronald

    And people wonder why Christianity is on the decline.

  • dploof

    You wrote, “He spoke out against those who manipulate God for their own selfish purposes and never once spoke about abortion or homosexuality.”

    This is not true. Jesus is God. Jesus is the Holy Spirit. God is three in ONE. The Bible says a lot about life and relationships. My goodness, just read Romans and you’ll see quite clearly what God says about same sex relations.

    Yes, I know the letter is from Paul, but everyone knows that the Bible is inspired by God. God would not contradict Himself. But man can manipulate anything he wants to serve his own purpose…even making the immoral, moral.

    That said, while I consider myself a republican, there is much that republicans need to address in terms of social justice…absolutely. And the Democrats are not much better just different things like the sanctity of life and marriage. And since when is being rich by itself, evil? Joseph of Arimethea was rich…was he evil?

    Overall, I vote for life. What is more important than protecting our children? and there are many organizations to help the mother from pregnancy to birth to afterwards to help her choose life for her child. It doesn’t have to be either or.

    Rather, both mother and child are equally important.

    God bless.

  • dploof

    You wrote, “He spoke out against those who manipulate God
    for their own selfish purposes and never once spoke about abortion or
    homosexuality”.

    This is not true. Jesus is God. Jesus is the Holy Spirit. God is three in ONE. The Bible says a lot about life and relationships. My goodness, just read Romans and you’ll see quite clearly what God says about same sex relations.

    Yes, I know the letter is from Paul, but everyone know that the Bible is inspired by God. God would not contradict Himself. But man can manipulate anything he wants to serve his own purpose…even making the immoral, moral.

    That said, while I consider myself a republican, there is much that republicans need to address in terms of social justice…absolutely. And the Democrats are not much better just different things like the sanctity of life and marriage. And since when is being rich evil? Joseph of Arimethea was rich, was he evil?

    Overall, I vote for life. What is more important than protecting our children? And there are many organizations to help the mother from pregnancy to birth to afterwards to help her choose life for her child. It doesn’t have to be either or. Rather, both mother and child are equally important.

    Just read Romans to learn about same sex relations. In fact, if your read Romans you will see a whole host if issues God has a problem with. I didn’t write it, God inspired it.

    God bless.

    • Rob Bailey

      Deuteronomy 22:20-21
      So much for life…

  • H0RSELIPS1 .

    Nailed it.

  • MJP

    That,s not Jesus. That is Satan !!

  • Rob Bailey

    You forgot the mike drop…

  • regressive teaparty trash

    PRAISE ( 21st century schizoid) JEEEEEEESUS!

  • One Guys Opinion

    I am a Christian, who is probably 70% conservative and 30% progressive and I agree with the premise of most of this article. At the same time, I’m quite sure Jesus would adamantly oppose abortion, enabling dysfunction by handing out welfare to folks who don’t deserve it when they are capable of working, erasing God from every facet of American life, shoving homosexuality down everyone’s throat ( I am not a hater at all, but come on…it is definitely being shoved down everyone’s throat). I mean Jesus accepted everyone, but he also said, “Go and sin no more.” Are you sure you thought this through before you wrote this article? I believe all Christians should help the poor at every opportunity. Love everyone no matter who they are…No matter what. I hate greed and people who cheat and destroy people for money, but this topic is way more complicated than can be expressed like this for the sole purpose of making a political statement of your own. Playing games with peoples lives just to get your agenda through instead of what is best for the American people. The fact is that Jesus would never have been a Republican or a Democrat. To much lying, cheating, hypocrisy, phoniness and disingenuousness for Jesus to be involved with those people. It’s also why he doesn’t show up at some churches.