Stephen Colbert Perfectly Mocks Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert’s Epic Stupidity (Video)

colbert-gohmertWhile there are many politicians currently serving in our government who have no business being in the position that they’re in, there are some who I have absolutely no idea how they managed to get elected. Those whose ignorance is so profound that it’s difficult to wrap your brain around the fact that people willingly voted for this person.


Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) is one of those people. He’s an absolute idiot, there’s really no other way to put it.

Recently he made some rather outrageous statements against homosexual members of our military when he suggested that they aren’t fit to serve in our modern military because – wait for itGreek soldiers used to get massages from people of the same sex before battle.

No, seriously, that’s what he said.

The only thing I got from his absurd comments was essentially that homosexuals shouldn’t serve in our military because they’ll be too obsessed with gay massages rather than fighting our enemies.

Gohmert took stupidity to a whole other level never before seen with this statement.

Well, Stephen Colbert took notice to Gohmert’s idiotic comments and had some choice words for the representative from Texas.

After playing a clip of Gohmert making his ridiculous claims about homosexuals serving in our military, Colbert “sympathized” with the congressman who was defending himself from critics who claim he doesn’t know his history.

“I’m with you sir,” Colbert said. “People have said to me, ‘Stephen you gotta understand you don’t even know your history. You’re dumb. You’re dense. You’re a mental midget with the IQ of a butter dish whose mind is a black hole that sucks all surrounding thought into it in an infinite singularity of pure stupidity. Stephen I’m surprised you can even dress yourself. I bet you have to rub peanut butter inside your lips to remember to open your mouth to breathe. I have never met, and I hope to never meet again, a man so pervasively astoundingly unyieldingly ignorant.’ To which I say, then you haven’t met Louie Gohmert.”


Of course Colbert’s entire diatribe was his way of addressing what he really thinks of Mr. Gohmert, while still maintaining his satirical character for which he has become famous.

And going by Colbert’s comments, it seems he too is absolutely dumbfounded as to how someone as ridiculous as Gohmert managed to get elected to public office. The only logical conclusion that I can come up with is that in Gohmert’s district the saner you are, the worse you’re probably going to do come election time. Which would explain how he got elected.

Watch the segment below via Comedy Central:



Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.

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  • Eg Kbbs

    A big part of Gohmert’s argument seems to be that we are in a new type of guerilla warfare where you can’t let your guard down, even for the slightest moment. Hence can’t have massages.

    By the same token, shouldn’t we remove the latrines so we won’t be caught off-guard ? “Being caught on the can” is a well established reference to being caught off guard.

  • Bob Amsel

    Poking fun at Louie’s stupidity is like shooting fish in a barrel. One really needs to wonder at the Texas imbeciles he keep Gohmert in office.

    • day2knight

      It’s either Gohmert or elect a “communist” Democrat.

      • Bob Amsel

        Or to put it another way, if you happen to be an imbecile who doesn’t know what a communist is, Gohmert’s your man.

      • day2knight

        Right. The majority of Gohmert’s constituents are imbeciles.

    • Paul Julian Gould

      Texas Congressional District 1 consists of Tyler and Longview as the “librul big cities.” (neither very big, nor “liberal” in any way) In the rest of the district one finds Marshall, and a weird town, Wascom, that straddles the TX/LA state line, with all that implies. Wascom is best described by giving an example of the home of one of its residents… (and they’re not alone)… (have a couple of friends in Marshall, and when we stay with them, the cigarettes are cheaper in Wascom)

      While driving through, my friend made it a point to drive us past the lot of some bubba who thought it a fine idea to build a second story on his single wide. The roof was caving in on the main body of the trailer, and the only thing that seemed to hold it together was the biggest Confederate battle flag I’ve ever seen… tacked up at the corners….

      Although it’s a gerrymandered district and Louie’s in no danger of losing his seat, that is the sort of voter who sends him to Congress over and over and over.

      What makes me think that he’s not as dumb as he plays for the rubes back home, who are that dumb, is that his BA and JD are from Baylor, and he also served a stint as a seemingly competent JAG officer in the Army.

      Not sure which is the worse thought, that he’s actually that dumb, or that he’s wasting taxpayer money playing the crazy man instead of actually doing the job he’s supposed to be doing.

  • TripleMoon

    Maybe Gohmert thinks ‘it moved’ during a recent massage with a male massage therapist and is starting to have doubts about his sexual orientation. He seems awfully obsessed with Gays.

    • Charles Saeger

      Most pictures of Gohmert show him with his mouth open, making an O with his lips.

      Draw your own conclusion.

    • James Capp

      LOL!!!!!

  • “Democracy is a system that ensures that we will get the government that we deserve.”

    G.B. Shaw

    • day2knight

      “Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.” — H. L. Mencken

  • B.Wasoon

    Thank goodness for video. You just can’t make this stuff up.

  • Coprolite

    Louie, Ted, $arah and Michelle sure make the rest of us look good.

  • John Michael Hutton

    Is he dumber than Bush, hard to believe but it does seem that he replaces Bush as the dumbest politician elected to office from Texass.

    • Nathan Frigerio

      Don’t sell perry short, he’s an incredible imbecile.

  • Allen Byno

    Liberals urge calm, don’t panic, over Ebola.

    With Global Warming, they urge total hysteria.

    • Sieben Stern

      who said you could go ‘full gomert’ – back in your padded cell.

    • Cemetery Girl

      I think you’ve confused hysteria for wanting the problem of global warming to be recognized and measures taken to at least slow it (like a push for alternative energy). Wanting a problem addressed isn’t hysteria.

    • Paul Julian Gould

      Yeah… Trying to put it in the public consciousness by with lots of peer reviewed science, and losing patience with idiots who deny there’s any issue sure sounds equivalent to the sort of spew we get from Gohmert, Palin, Cruz and the rest of the train.

      Good catch, that… /s

    • pauly

      No Allen, we liberals want you conservatives to listen to the scientific community on the satiations that directly deal with science. The scientists say that global warming is real, manmade and a threat to our way of life and we need to start implementing solutions to decrease the effects. With Ebola the scientist say NOT to panic. That closing our borders will make thing worse.

      So you see, we liberals (scientist) identify the threat levels of emergencies and then act accordingly. Sort of like a triage. We don’t just react without evidence and understanding.

  • Sieben Stern

    colbert forgot – ‘who waters you twice a week’

  • BD

    Congress…. it’s so easy a caveman can do it!