Stoned Bunnies: The DEA’s Latest Ridiculous Argument Against Legalizing Medical Marijuana

stoned-bunnyWhile the tide has turned toward legalization in the marijuana “debate,” there are still a lot of discussions that need to be had before this issue finally reaches some kind of a consensus. But when it comes to the medical uses for marijuana, there’s really not much of a debate on that matter. If marijuana can help people with certain ailments live better lives, then what’s the argument against legalizing it for medicinal purposes?


It just doesn’t make any sense to me why anyone would oppose legalizing marijuana to treat medical conditions. In a day and age where the side effects of many of the legal prescriptions millions of Americans use often seem worse than what these pills are supposed to be treating, how can anyone claim that medical marijuana could be more harmful than a pill that may or may not cause death or organ failure?

It’s absolutely absurd.

Well, currently there’s a push in Utah to make it legal for patients with certain debilitating medical conditions to consume marijuana-infused edibles to improve their quality of life.

Just seems like common sense, right?

Apparently not if you’re the DEA. It seems, instead of worrying about how marijuana might improve the qualify of life for human beings, the Drug Enforcement Agency is extremely worried about the possibility of stoned bunny rabbits.

“Personally, I have seen entire mountainsides subjected to pesticides, harmful chemicals, deforestation and erosion,” DEA agent Matt Fairbanks said. “The ramifications to the flora, the animal life, the contaminated water, are still unknown.”

He then went on to talk about an incident where rabbits had apparently developed a taste for marijuana, citing one rabbit that wouldn’t leave even as the agents approached because it no longer had the instinct to run.

Now, there’s a whole lot of “stupid” in that entire argument. From him forming this belief based on a lone interaction with one rabbit, to the fact that he seems to care more about preventing rabbits from getting stoned rather than helping improve the lives of ailing human beings – it’s all asinine. But probably the most glaring idiocy is found in the fact that the reason why these illegal farms are potentially hurting the environment – and endangering wildlife – is because marijuana is not allowed to be grown legally. That has forced people who do grow the substance to do so without oversight, and often in areas that are probably not ideal for our environment or our nation’s wildlife.


If the state legalizes its use for medical reasons, that would almost instantly set up sites where the plant would be grown, and the harvesting of the marijuana would be done under proper regulations to ensure that the impact on the environment and any potential wildlife would be minimal.

So, essentially the DEA did nothing more than present an argument that supports why it should be legalized for medical purposes. That way the state of Utah can properly ensure that those who are growing the planet are doing so in an environmentally friendly way. If they’d spend more time utilizing common sense instead of worrying about stoned bunnies, maybe they’d see that.




Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.

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