Subway Partners With Michelle Obama, Conservatives Lose Their Minds With Hate

SubwayThis past Thursday, Subway announced they were joining Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move” campaign. They posted the following statement to their Facebook page:

So proud to team up with the Partnership for a Healthier America and the First Lady’s Let’s Move initiative in our continued effort to offer healthier choices to families and encourage kids to pile on the veggies!

Given how many obese kids there are in America, I don’t see how anyone could possibly have a problem with this. Subway has been marketing their food as a healthy alternative to standard fast food fare for years, and millions of people love Subway sandwiches and salads. Heck, Subway gave us Jared Fogle.

Cue the poutrage. Subway’s Facebook page currently looks as if, CPAC, Ted Nugent clones, Duck Dynasty fans and raging homophobes (and Islamophobes and liberalphobes and every kind of phobe you can think of)  have merged into one giant sucking sound. For people like me – you know, liberals with a side of snark – this is a win-win.

It is first a win because my family, while rarely eating fast food, loves Subway. My husband will typically eat nothing but Subway for lunch when he’s traveling. Our son, when I told him about the conservatives going crazy over this, suggested we get some Subway for dinner Sunday evening, and I pretty much lived on their sandwiches when I was a retail manager.

Secondly, it shows basic conservative hypocrisy in all its glory. Remember Chick-Fil-A? Remember what happened when liberals boycotted Chick-Fil-A? OH MY GOD, we were called everything from traitors to Nazis, told to leave the country, and basically attacked every minute of every day. Liberals were boycotting Chick-Fil-A because their president gave money to a hate group that spreads lies about, and supports discrimination of, the LGBT community. Which, in my humble opinion, was a boycott that made sense. This? This is just flat-out dumb. It’s reminiscent of when conservatives went nuts just a few months back after the FLOTUS dared to suggest Americans should probably drink more water.

Obesity is a major health issue in America, for children, teens and adults. Medical issues that stem from obesity range from heart attacks and strokes to high blood pressure and diabetes. Obesity kills people. But holy shit snacks, have a company that’s been promoting healthy eating for years suddenly partner with the First Lady, and HITLERSUBSANDWICHGHAZI.

Gosh, what if… no, that couldn’t possibly be it. I mean, conservatives couldn’t possibly be upset because Subway has partnered with our African-American first lady, could they? All conservatives ever tell us is how they’re totally not racist because they have a black friend, and there’s nothing racist at all about comparing the First Lady of the United States to a gorilla, right? The following comments are from Subway’s Facebook page. They are unedited, and they represent only a small fraction of the hundreds of similar comments currently in the thread.

omg!! do you ppl not know putting an anti American heifer like mooooooshell on your bizz like that is going to destroy your bizz..wooohhooo thats great you can let her destroy your company like her P>O>S freak husband is destroying our beloved country….i feel bad for all your employess who will be out of a job when you have to shut down for your shi### choice!!!

No more Subway food for me. I lose my appetite when I see Mooshell’s face.

I cannot believe what I’m reading! On another post I see Mooshells likeness looking over the counter! I’m very sorry but I’ve just lost my appetite! I’d rather eat pink meat at McDonalds! You have crossed the line!

Apparently, you weren’t paying attention to JC Penney when they decided to make a fruitcake their spokesman…I guess you will learn the hardway that Mooochelle is not that popular among people that work and pay for their own meals…Goodbye…I guess you wanted to take the lead in the food stamps business…

There is no way I will support a business that supports the leach in our white house.

Subway is going to need a lot of workers, prolly illegals, to clean up after their customers start puking from seeing Moochell’s picture.

She has four butts and is anti-God, anti-America and a socialist. Good bye.

There is also a brand-new Facebook page giving the poutraged conservatives a place to whine and bitch, and one of the first photos on the page is one that compares Michelle Obama to a character in “Planet of the Apes.” I am not going to link to the page; if you’re that desperate, you can go look for it.

In the words of my 15-year-old self, “oh PULEEZE.” According to a map posted at the CDC’s website, the states with the most obese people are red states. In other words, these “patriotic Americans” who refuse to do one damn thing to encourage healthier kids or adults, are for the most part the most obese people in the country. In other, other words, the people who need healthy eating the most are the people most vehemently opposed to it.

Subway has been a champion of healthier fast food for years. Conservatives eat at Subway. Subway partners with the first African-American FLOTUS. Conservatives compare her to an ape, mock her body, call her a cow, and are boycotting Subway. I’ll let you mull that over.

Erin Nanasi

Erin Nanasi is the creator of The Bachmann Diaries: Satirical Excerpts from Michele Bachmann's Fictional Diary. She hates writing about herself in the third person. Erin enjoys reading, writing, and spending time with family. And wombats. Come visit Erin on on Facebook. She also can be found on Twitter at @WriterENanasi.


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