Summarizing Ted Cruz’s First 2016 Campaign Speech: A Sermon Given On Top of a Mountain of Bullcrap

Photo credit: Andrew Harnik—AP

Photo credit: Andrew Harnik—AP

There’s a scene from a popular Adam Sandler movie called Billy Madison when, following a debate after Sandler’s character tried to answer a question with an incoherent, rambling rant, the moderator says:

“What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it.”

Well, that basically sums up how I felt after watching Ted Cruz’s speech at Liberty University announcing his plans to run for president in 2016.


What I witnessed was essentially every speech Cruz has given over the last few years all rolled into one. If you were playing a game where you had to take a shot of whiskey every time he said the word “liberty,” you would have ended up extremely drunk, very early in the day.

Not once, out of all the propaganda that he spewed from his mouth, did he actually say how he planned to do anything. All he did was walk around that stage at Liberty University spouting off one talking point after another. It was clear, at least in my opinion, that he was trying to present himself more like some sort of religious leader giving a sermon rather than just a presidential candidate announcing his intention to run in 2016. There’s nothing quite like Cruz talking about his “love” of our First Amendment – then following that up with an attack on freedom of religion by speaking out against women’s rights and marriage equality.

Even when you go beyond the absurd religious rhetoric, it was basically just Cruz listing off the same nonsense he’s been saying for years:

  • Repeal “Obamacare”
  • Abolish the IRS
  • Secure the border
  • Block immigration reform
  • Support Israel

Oh, and he managed to once again say he supports a full repeal of  “every word of Common Core.” That sounds great to those who blindly oppose anything that even remotely sounds like big government, except for the fact that Common Core isn’t a federal law, so there’s nothing to “repeal.”

But let’s be real about what Cruz’s announcement means: Nothing. 


Ted Cruz stands absolutely no chance at even winning the GOP nomination, let alone the presidency. Recent polls only show about 4 percent of voters saying they would support him for president, which is actually down from 7 percent less than six months ago.

One of the funniest things to me is that while ultra-conservatives are pumped that Cruz finally made his long-awaited announcement (because many of them are actually delusional enough to believe he stands a chance at winning), I think many of us on the left are even more excited that he’s finally made it official. Cruz is going to do more damage to the GOP singlehandedly than any Democratic candidate could ever dream of doing. Not only is he going to embarrass the Republican party, but he’s going to be so desperate to win the nomination that I fully believe he’ll drag his fellow GOP candidates through the mud.

If there’s one thing Cruz has shown throughout his brief time in the Senate, it’s that the only person he cares about is himself.




Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.

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  • Sunnysmom

    He’s nothing more than Sarah Palin with a J.D. Fringe, ridiculous, and ultimately unelectable in the general population. The GOP knows this but it’ll be fun to watch the sparks fly in the mean time.