Christian Right Weekly Round-Up: Pastor Pillow & the Parable of the Empty Megachurch

The Gospel According to The Golden Rule 1 1 Normally on the Lord’s Day, Pastor Pillow arrived at Cubic Zirconium Cathedral several hours before even the most faithful member to perform dutifully the humble role of sexton—to his mind, a kind of facility foot washing. 2 He unlocked doors; adjusted thermostats; flipped on hallway lights; […]

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It Can Be Both Creation And Evolution

Thanks in part to the Creation Versus Evolution Debate between Ken Ham and Bill Nye and now to the news that Ham’s Creation Museum will be investing twenty-seven million dollars (that’s $27,000,000!) to building a boat that won’t go anywhere, a lot of people are both intrigued and confused by what is happening in Conservative […]

Christian Right Weekly Round-Up: Big Bang Solos, BJ U & Sugar in Your Wheaties

Pastor Pillow here! Let’s start this morning’s worship service with a bit of a bang.  Please listen to our Guest Soloist and follow along in your hymnals at No. ∞. Following today’s service, we’ll provide you with some additional recordings of the Cosmic Microwave Background—otherwise known as the residual radiation from the Big Bang. You […]

The Coke Bottle that Fell from the Sky, Hit an Antichrist & Felled a Planet

Sometimes you just have to take a step back from reality. Kind of like Ken Ham and his Creationist minions.  (You see, there’s this book.) Last Sunday, more than 112 million citizens of the United States of America—more than one-third of the total population—huddled around television sets to watch men in orange and royal blue […]

An Open Letter and Challenge to Ken Ham, Creationist (Not So) Extraordinaire

Dear Mr. Ham: You see, there’s this book. Sound familiar? Yes, and it is in fact called the Bible. And whether one calls it the Inspired Word of God or an anthology of fairy tales, it is the most fascinating and complex book ever composed. I love it dearly, despite how you abuse it.  In […]

Bill Nye vs. The Creation Museum: Tonight’s Debate for Civilization

Man, just when you thought Neil deGrasse Tyson was about to nudge us into the Great Age of Rodenberry, along comes young-Earth creationist Ken Ham and a near-endless supply of antediluvian cash to try to wash away the progress of science and evolutionary theory. Tonight at 7 p.m. upon the grounds of the dreadful Creation […]

Christian Right Weekly Round-Up: Ham on Nye, Thoughtless Atheists & Holy Oscars

Pastor Pillow here! Parishioners, gird your loins with grey sweats, don your breastplate of righteousness and kindly open your hymnals to No. 303. 2014.  A year to determine the course of Civilization.  The Midterm Elections are on the horizon, and the Fundamentalist Dragon runs amok, spewing its regressive flame to protect its lair of unbridled […]

Christian Right Weekly Round-Up: 2014, Civilization in the Balance

Pastor Pillow here! Parishioners, kindly open your hymnals to No. 475, “Rock of Ages.” Ahem.  Make that No. 457. Sigh.  Never mind. Lots to share upon my return from all the spiritual retreating that Mt. Athos has to offer.  No, there’s nothing quite like hanging ten with holy persons on the peninsula of Chalkidiki in […]

Christian Right Weekly Round-Up: Billy, Beards, Beaks and Booby Traps

Roundabout 3,000 years ago, several Egyptian priests gathered at the local Nilotic zinc bar and had a conversation that went something like this: Ahmose:  We have a problem. Her-uben:  I know, I know. Khu:  We’re very close to figuring out precisely where the sunrise will hit our proposed colonnade for the Temple of Karnak on […]

What Every American Should Know about the Biblical “Definitions” of Marriage

Thoughts Concerning a ‘Biblical Definition of Marriage,’ and in Response to Umpteen Biblically-Ignorant Memes that have Sloshed Back & Forth across the Social Media High Seas e’er since the U.S. Supreme Court’s Landmark Same-Sex Marriage Ruling, and with Hellfire Spit Aimed at any Idiot who Buys the Rights to a Stock Photo of Two Aryans […]