Christian Right Weekly Round-Up: Biblical Breast Implants, Lap Dance Jesus, and Pope Francis’ New 10 Commandments

So glad you could make it! I’m Pastor Pillow, of course. And these other fine men and women are the Cubic Zirconia Cathedral Ministries Marketing Team. As you may be aware, we’ve been losing parishioners left and right to that upstart “progressive faith community” down the street, Glory Holy Ministries. Seems like people are naturally […]

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Christian Right Weekly Round-Up: Pastor Pillow Brokers the Mideast Ping-Pong Peace Accords

Yep, I’m Pastor Pillow! Two extra-large deep dish pizzas with anchovies and black olives, right? Listen, I know you’re just a pimple-faced pizza delivery dude, but you’re about to witness history, kid—as in the Two Witnesses of the Book of Revelation. So pay attention. Say, I’ve seen you before. You’re Carol and Dan Babbage’s boy, […]

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Christian Right Weekly Round-Up: Demon-Possessed Strippers, Nic Cage Enraptured & Gurus Gone Wild!

There you are! I almost left for the Virgin Galactic Rapture Launch Pad without you! Quick, put this spacesuit on. Just make sure you don’t tear the fabric. Cubic Zirconia Cathedral Ministries spent a fortune on each of these Philippe Starck-designed suits.  In fact, each suit cost more than the Paul Prudhomme Potluck we threw […]

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Christian Right Weekly Round-Up: Big Bang Solos, BJ U & Sugar in Your Wheaties

Pastor Pillow here! Let’s start this morning’s worship service with a bit of a bang.  Please listen to our Guest Soloist and follow along in your hymnals at No. ∞. Following today’s service, we’ll provide you with some additional recordings of the Cosmic Microwave Background—otherwise known as the residual radiation from the Big Bang. You […]