Christian Right Weekly Round-Up: Pastor Pillow Prays Pompously at the Fifty-Yard Line

Hello, I’m Pastor Pillow! So glad you could join us at the 50-yard line after tonight’s game. You strike me as a bit too lean and butterfingers to be a wide out; I’m guessing you’re a cornerback? Aha! Pastor Pillow knows his pigskin. After all, I was a swarthy tight end in the day. Don’t […]

Humanity, Not Quite Ready for Civilization: Enemy-Making, Resistance is Everything

Part IV in a series that explores whether humanity is ready for Civilization. Click these links to read Part I, Part II and Part III.   Enemies. Imagine a world without them. Yeah, that’s usually how most genocides start. … Have you ever noticed that humans seem to need enemies? How, even in relatively peaceful […]

Christian Right Weekly Round-Up: Pastor Pillow Dials “J” for Jihad

Hi, I’m Pastor Pillow. We greatly appreciate that you’ve reached out to the Cubic Zirconium Cathedral Ministries Hotline. Normally we charge 99 cents per minute to provide you with direct, Scripture-based, Dove-to-Supplicant discernment and wisdom. However, today you have blessedly reached the philadelphic phone of yours truly, CPO of this multi-billion-dollar Prosperity Gospel ministry. And […]

Christian Right Weekly Round-Up: Siri Saves the Sabbath, Kirk Cameron Saves Baby Jesus

Hey, Holy Siri!  Pastor Pillow here! We’ve been over this before.  It’s just Siri.  I’m not Divine. Well, God works in mysterious ways.  Anyway, I need your help.  It’s 30 minutes before Cubic Zirconium Cathedral Showtime, and I still don’t have a sermon.  Hello?  Are you there? Good morning.  Do you need a hug? I […]

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Dallas Sports Anchor Dale Hansen Delivers A Profound Message On Equality

As many of you know, I hate Upworthy-style headlines like “This Little Girl DESTROYS Every Republican Talking Point In 30 Seconds!” or “A 16-Year-Old Explains Why Everything You Thought You Knew About Beauty May Be Wrong. With Math.” Why? It’s not that I’m some crotchety old man stuck in a 30-year-old body, it’s because when EVERY […]

Michael Sam, the NFL, Homosexuality and the Ignorance of Those Saying He Won’t be Accepted

By now most people have probably heard about NFL prospect and ex-Missouri football player Michael Sam, who publicly declared the fact that he’s a proud gay man.  This made news because Sam is projected to be drafted in May’s NFL draft where he would then become the NFL’s first openly gay athlete. This, of course, […]

The Coke Bottle that Fell from the Sky, Hit an Antichrist & Felled a Planet

Sometimes you just have to take a step back from reality. Kind of like Ken Ham and his Creationist minions.  (You see, there’s this book.) Last Sunday, more than 112 million citizens of the United States of America—more than one-third of the total population—huddled around television sets to watch men in orange and royal blue […]

Super Bowl XLVIII: Denver Columbine Survivors vs. Green Bay Drunk (How’s That for “Honor”?)

In 2000, a private institution of higher education nestled in a quiet Chicago suburb decided that the time was nigh to change its collegiate mascot.  Odds are not even the most bratwurst-scarfing, jersey-junkie, beer-chugging sports fan in the nation had ever heard of—let alone followed—the athletic endeavors of the NCAA Division III Wheaton College Crusaders.  […]