After His Appalling Comments on Sunday, I Have a Message for Sanctimonious Prick Joel Osteen

Full confession: Sometime over ten years ago, I used to actually watch Houston televangelist Joel Osteen on television. In fact, I might even have a copy of one of his books, Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential, tucked away in a box somewhere. While I wouldn’t say I was ever a […]

Christian Right Weekly Round-Up: Pastor Pillow & the Amazing Technicolor Pyramid Grain Silo Animatronic Wonder House

Hello, I’m Pastor Pillow! You’re probably here to see Cubic Zirconium Cathedral Ministries’ latest attraction, the Brother Dr. Ben Carson 3-D/Trinity Amazing Technicolor Pyramid Grain Silo Animatronic Wonder House. Trust me, it’s unlike anything you’ve ever seen! Epcot, eat my Holy Spirit-girded shorts. Here, hop in the CZC Ministries Porsche Garia Soleil de Minuit golf […]

Christian Right Weekly Round-Up: Pastor Pillow Prays Pompously at the Fifty-Yard Line

Hello, I’m Pastor Pillow! So glad you could join us at the 50-yard line after tonight’s game. You strike me as a bit too lean and butterfingers to be a wide out; I’m guessing you’re a cornerback? Aha! Pastor Pillow knows his pigskin. After all, I was a swarthy tight end in the day. Don’t […]

Christian Right Weekly Round-Up: Pastor Pillow Descends to Hell, Has High Tea with Pope Francis & Joel Osteen

You don’t happen to have a monkey wrench, do you? You do?! Fabulous! Here, follow me down to the boiler room. I can’t find the sexton anywhere. He’s probably down at the Cubic Zirconia Cathedral Noah’s Ark Petting Zoo. We had an incident last night with some lions and a wildebeest. How did Noah manage […]

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Pastor Pillow Pulpit Special: Jesus Slips on a Banana Peel, Joel Osteen Laughs All the Way to the Bank

Pastor Pillow here! First, our apologies for the huge mess around here.  I swear all this dust is from sheetrock, not pet coke. The Christian Right Weekly Round-Up is in the middle of major construction the next few weeks. We’ve taken the lead of Prosperity Gospel moguls Joel Osteen and Kenneth Copeland and have decided […]

Joel Osteen’s Missing $600,000 and Pat Robertson’s Questionable Friends

By now, you have heard that television evangelist Joel Osteen’s megachurch was robbed of $600,000 in cash and checks. Thieves managed to break into a safe sometime between Sunday, March 10 and Monday, March  11, and make off with $200,000 in cash and $400,000 in checks. What you may not know is that Mr. Osteen […]

Christian Right Weekly Round-Up: Saturday in the Courtroom with Adolf

Pastor Pillow here! Spring is in the air!  Revolution too.  If nothing else, all those U.S. drones finally have some sky-high company. Missing jumbo planes.  The Charge of the Putin Brigade.  Olympians on trial.  The U.S. House votes yet again to put the kibash on Obamacare.  (Who knows, maybe 51 times is a charm.)  The […]