Donald Trump Perfectly Illustrates How Stupid American Politics Has Become

Over two years ago, I wrote an article titled “We’re No Longer A Democracy, We’re An Idiocracy.” That story was penned in the face of a government shutdown, engineered by current presidential candidate Ted Cruz. The federal government shut down on October 1st, and it lasted about two weeks. After that fiasco, American voters should […]

Fact Check: Did Ted Cruz Ask Veterans To Sell Cookies For Funding?

There’s not a lot that Ted Cruz would say that would honestly surprise me. It wouldn’t be that much of a shock for him to say that the world is only 6,000 years old because his father, a former Castro supporter and evangelical preacher, said so. Or perhaps that Jesus Christ himself penned the Constitution, […]

The Bachmann Diaries: America Will Face Real Sharknados Because Of Obama

Dear Diary, I’m a movie star! The producers of the blockbuster series “Sharknado” asked me to make a cameo appearance (that’s movie talk for star) in “Sharknado 3,” and I think God made that happen to remind me, and everyone else, what is happening because of Barack Hussein Obama’s horrible policies and outright hatred of […]

The Bachmann Diaries: The Mall Of America Will Not Fall To Terrorists!

Dear Diary, It’s been awhile since I’ve had time to write my thoughts down. Who knew retirement would be busier than being in Congress? I’m hounded wherever I go by people begging me to run for president, my opinions are in higher demand than ever, and I’m trying to get used to Marcus’s “deep voice.” […]

An Open Letter To Idaho State Rep. Vito Barbieri

Dear Representative Vito Barbieri, Hale and good morrow, sir. Today is Tuesday, February 24, 2015. The date, especially the year, is paramount to this missive, given your recent comments on lady parts. You, a state representative for the great state of Idaho, asked an actual doctor if…well, rather than try to paraphrase, let’s just actualphrase, […]

A President’s Day Message From The GOP (VIDEO)

Happy President’s Day. We, your GOP leaders, are writing you today to inform you of an important change to this holiday. As you can see from our greeting, we have changed the name of Presidents’ Day to President’s Day. We feel this most important of days, after Veterans’ Day, Mothers’ Day, the first day of […]

Bent Back Mountain: Sarah Palin’s Iowa Speech Translated

Attendees of the Iowa Freedom Summit were treated to a well-scripted eloquent exciting speech from Half-Governor Sarah Palin over the weekend. She was introduced to the crowd by Iowa’s own Steve “Cantaloupe Calves” King, who pointed out that Grifter Sarah Palin had moved the party to the right. Way to the right. Over a cliff, if you […]

A Letter To America From Mitt Romney…I Mean Mott Rimney

Dear America, My name is Mott Rimney, and I am a middle-class guy from North Dakota. I’m writing you today to tell you about the man I hope is the next President of the United States, Mitt Romney. We – the normal, middle class people of this great country-recognize that Mitt is the obvious choice […]

Je Suis Charlie / Je Suis Satirist / Je Suis Jesus

for the brave men and women of Charlie Hebdo, and other fallen victims in Paris, plus Erin Nanasi, top-notch satirist JE SUIS CHARLIE. JE SUIS SATIRIST. JE SUIS JESUS. In its heyday, Columbia City Paper was like a journalistic Roman candle borne from a twisted Hunter S. Thompson dream. How to explain? Perhaps as such: once […]

Communist Party Expresses ‘Great Disappointment’ in President Obama (Satire)

In light of yesterday’s news that the Dow Jones Industrial Average passed a record 18,000 points on news of strong economic growth, the Communist Party has expressed their extreme displeasure with President Obama’s performance. In fact, Communist Party members were quick to distance themselves from the president, stating that despite all Republican claims, President Obama […]